My 15 year old daughter is being treated for severe depression and anxiety. When school is in session, she struggles finding the motivation to complete her work, and frequently gets overwhelmed by the workload. I am wondering if there is ADHD in the mix and if there are any parents of teen girls here who’ve had similar experiences
(I have a son with ADHD who presents much differently)
Thank you.
Are you me? I have a 16 year old daughter who struggles with social anxiety disorder, has bouts of depression and and is diagnosed with adhd. I also have a son who has adhd which presents differently from her. So yes, first off, our experiences seem similar!
My daughter has a terrible time finding the motivation for work. The best thing that has worked for her is:
1. An IEP. After she was formally diagnosed with anxiety and adhd through testing by a psychologist, I presented the reports to a review board at school to get her an IEP.
2. From there I made suggestions as to what accommodations would help her the most. Since her motivation and speed are low, I asked for an automatic reduced workload for every assignment. This has been huge. Also, extra time on tests is good —- not even that she needs the extra time, but it removes the anxiety of finishing in time. Rarely does she need additional time but knowing it’s there reduces anxiety. Other things I asked for were: preferential seating on the edge of the classroom, a flash pass for the nurse, not being called on in class, private presentations. Think of what she struggles with. Don’t accept their canned accommodations. Make them specific.
3. Medication. She takes Vyvanse for adhd and Cymbalta for anxiety and depression. We had a hard time finding this combination —- it took over a year but the search paid off. Her emotions are under control, depression doesn’t take that dip, and her concentration goes into overdrive when the Vyvanse kicks in. She also has a low dose of Adderall for late afternoon when the Vyvanse wears off (for homework once school is back in person in the fall).
4. I sit with her while she does homework. We have established a specific time and place for homework and we are consistent with sitting together to complete it. I monitor the workload and communicate with teachers when their modifications are still too much work, and I prioritize her work so she doesn’t miss due dates. Sometimes she will advocate for herself with the teacher - social anxiety sometimes wins - so I step in.
Is it a lot of work to help her? Yes, but it’s working. The IEP, medication and me (mom) as her executive function coach is the recipe we have found for her success.
You are not alone!
I am new to the group so sorry this reply is delayed. My daughter has ADHD (inattentive type) of a magnitude that I had never heard of until she hit adolescence. es when she was a high school student, the ADHD manifested as very low motivation for anything except her natural interests, impulsivity leading to repeated poor decisions, inability to conceptualize consequences and learn from her poor decisions, and extreme defiance. ADHD meds decreased the impulsivity and defiance dramatically. Just FYI. Good luck and hang in there....
Just a thought about convincing your spouse - since you have one child already diagnosed with ADHD, if they are genetic siblings, that is one really good reason to help her with or at least test her for ADHD. My daughter was never tested formally because her case was not at all subtle (although we did fill out a questionnaire so I guess it was some rudimentary form of testing). But I have heard from lots of other parents that psychological testing is super helpful when it's not clear what your child is struggling with and/or when meds are proving difficult to get right. So maybe that would be something to consider.
About meds - my daughter started on Focalin SR at the end of 3rd grade. I didn't make her take it on the weekends and it was literally years before I realized that if she had taken it every day without fail, not only would it have been a good habit for adulthood, but also it would have spared her and us some pain from her defiance and impulsivity (often manifested as bullying her younger sibling).
She became extremely irritable (which i finally realized was depression) and anxious in high school. She went to therapy x 1 year before starting on an antidepressant (Lexapro) her junior year. About 6 months later her psychiatrist added Abilifi (a mood stabilizer). We are soooo lucky that she sees the benefit of these meds and takes them faithfully. About a year ago she was switched to Zoloft because she was too sleepy. She still complains about anxiety. However, she is able to deal with relationships and go places and work, etc - that is, I don't see outward signs of anxiety like we did years back. (now trying therapy again and hoping she will learn some self-soothing and coping skills? Maybe too early yet though, she is still about 16 yo maturity.). She has finally started taking her Focalin daily, only after many terrible decisions that have caused her deep pain and suffering in her life. It is sooo hard when they turn 18 and start telling you they're an adult and you can't make them do anything anymore. If I had understood the whole ADHD picture and had made her take the Focalin every day when she was little, maybe it wouldn't have been a power struggle later and she would have been saved some terrible experiences due to not being properly supported with meds. Another thing i have learned is that unless mental health professionals are experts on ADHD, they may not understand it at all, and you will not be getting from them the right help for your child or the information you need to help your child. Anyway, that's what happened with us.
About the motivation - none of the meds or therapy have ever helped with motivation. I am seeing some improvement in motivation now at age 19. I think maybe the improvement is related to her brain maturing a little. (It is a very slow process.) I read this article about adult ADHD that helped me understand the impact of her ADHD a lot better, including the lack of motivation. It also helped me realize that from adolescence on it was truly different landscape than when she was just another kid with ADHD. And it helped me realize that my daughter will always have needs and challenges neurotypical people don't - like for the rest of her life; her ADHD is really significant. Don't know if it will help, but here is that article: additudemag.com/adhd-in-adu...
Wishing you the best! Also, kudos to you for being on this site to help your child. I wish I had done it sooner. 
Interested in connecting with parents of ADHD TEENS to exchange tips and ideas
Parent with a teen with ADHD
ADHD 8 year old girl...
Treating ADHD Anxiety with CBD
Attention Moms who have Girls with ADHD
