Hi All!
Looking for support and guidance from other parents. I have a 15yr old son with ADHD who is on Aderall. His anger is getting so out of hand I just don't know what to do anymore. He does talk to a councilor on a regular basis. I'm afraid he is going to get kicked out of school. Super smart, but super lazy and dealing with teenage hormones at the same time is just not a good combination. Tried rewards and consequences, nothing is working anymore.
Same problem but our 13 year just shuts down when he goes to the councilor and refuses to talk. I don't know if ADHD and anger can go hand in hand but I've never dealt with this with our other children. Normally he's such a sweet boy. He gets emotional and cries when he see's homeless people or stray animals but when he's mad he has no problem swearing at little children or trying to shoulder check his mom when he walks by her. We've tried the same and all we get is "I don't care! I don't want to talk about it!"
I would recommend a change in medication, please seek help from a child psychiatrist. They are best to guide you on appropriate medication. Many children with ADHD improve with both a stimulant ( adderall or ritalin) which help with controlling impulsive behavior and a non stimulant ( Initiv) which helps with emotional regulation and focus.
I totally agree with this advice. An antidepressant is also something to look into. My soon to be 15 yo son was soooo negative on his Vyvanse we took him off. But he still takes Intuniv as well as Lexipro. The psychiatrist needs to work on the right mix for him-and the doses all change with the hormone surges in the teen years.
Our son , now 14 has needed medication adjustment over the years and the psychiatrist is always there to discuss what is going on and help us determine the best way to deal with it. Often it is changing the timing, not the dose. I am thankful for having this support.
Adderall made our 11-year-old so angry that we took him off it. Try another medication. Ritalin works better for us.
Impaired emotional regulation and lack of motivation are magnified in the teen years and even more so for our ADHD kids. Counseling has helped for us, but it took three tries to find the right match for our daughter and we are still working on adjusting medications. She was resistant to counseling initially, and really didn’t start opening up until a few months ago. Counseling has helped me as well- to understand my role better. There is already a negative voice inside her head that tells her that she is lazy, not good enough, a failure, etc. I don’t want to feed that by showing frustration with her lack of motivation and focus. It’s a difficult balance to still support them when developmentally they are at a stage where they are pulling away from parents to become independent. ADDitude magazine subscription has been a great resource
Not sure I have an answer for you as we're struggling ourselves with a 13 year old boy with ADHD and anxiety. Two years ago, he had some type of breakdown and it took us a while to figure out it was anxiety. The anxiety causes pent-up anger that often comes out in harmful ways. We're two years and 7 medications into it with mostly bad side effects. He's been in counseling and it has made him more self-aware which has helped him catch himself when he starts to rage. In looking back over the two years, I can see there's been an improvement arc and I just try to enjoy the good times and stay positive that things will get better.
Thanks! We have curbed the anxiety with an antidepressant. Talking with the psychiatrist today we upped his Adderal to see if that will help. He has only been in 20 mg and he feels it’s not working anymore. So trial and error! Which bothers me. Trying to find the right recipe with their little lives. And because they are still growing and hormones bouncing all over just doesn’t help. But keep on keeping on. Do the absolute best that we can do. Having teachers at school who don’t understand, or don’t want to, even though you advocate to the extreme doesn’t help.
Totally agree on the teacher issue. We had trouble getting a diagnosis in the beginning and the teachers kept acting like it was an effort issue. They increased the reward/punishiment situation and it just make his anxiety worse. The district finally agreed and stepped in so he's at a new school.
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