ADHD 5 year old

[Mamakay]

Hey mamas!

I’m wondering if anyone is a parent of a severe ADHD child.

I had always thought that maybe he was just hyper but he started kindergarten this year and it’s become quite clear that he has a severe case of ADHD.

He is excelling VERY well in school and is on the fast track to being apart of their advanced classes next year but they want to get his behavior controlled before doing so.

He has a problem sitting still, disrupting the class, going to the bathroom “3 times an hour” because he’s just bored, interrupting the teacher, not raising his hand, refusing to do work because it’s too easy, etc.

I do NOT want to put him on medicine. He’s only 5. So I’m wondering if there’s anything else that I could be doing or giving him to help settle his ADHD.

It’s hard to have him on a strict schedule because his father and I split up over 3 years ago and he works during the day and I work at night. We’ve become better co-parents and he has the same basic rules at both houses but that’s when it comes to discipline.

I’ve tried everything when he acts out. It seems like he’s doing this ONLY to get a rise out of people.

Don’t get me wrong, he is so loving and sweet and very very very smart. But he has a problem with authority and rule following. Even when we’re out for dinner, he won’t sit still in his chair. He’ll dance about and crawl on the floor. I’ve never let him just get away with these things so I don’t think it boils down to my parenting. Just his ADHD and lack of impulse control.

This was longer than anticipated but I just need a little advice on what I should do. What other mamas have done to help ease their child’s ADHD to a more manageable condition.

I’ve been told to hold him back a year but if he’s excelling far past kindergarten education, I’m afraid teaching him the same thing twice is only going to make him more bored and cause him act out even more.

HELP

[Kd1970]

If you are firmly against medication, you will have to turn to diet and exercise for help. There are many who will swear by micronutrient supplements from two distributors: hardy nutritional and don’t remember the other one. We tried hardy but my daughter couldn’t swallow them. Many people have gone the gluten free route and found benefit. Red dyes are supposedly bad for kids with adhd. You’ll just have to do research and try out some things. Exercise is helpful to get energy out and for the release of natural endorphins. My daughter enjoys yoga for calming down and decreasing anxiety. Best of luck to you! (I definitely wouldn’t hold back a year. You’d only prolong the inevitable and it could be worse if he is more bored than now.) My daughter and husband have severe ADHD and I work in a school system if that gives any credibility to my suggestions.

[Aspen797]

Excellent ideas in the other post. If you haven't already, you might want to get some evaluations. He may just be a typical squirmy boy, or maybe he has some lagging skills. Maybe he is bored and needs more stimulation, maybe all of the above! An author I love says all kids do well if they can--if they have the skills they need to meet others expectations. He doesn't yet have what he needs to succeed. Some develop with growth and maturity, some need our help in identifying and getting appropriate therapies. If you haven't already, check out Russell Barkley's books. He has great ideas to help behavior and prevent defiance. He's also on you tube.

[Onthemove1971]

Welcome to the group! We are excited you have joined us. We have so many amazing parent, guardians and grandparents on the blog to support you. There are also many posts about not using medication you can search for to help you. Most of us were in your shoes so long ago. Now we are where we are. This is a journey and there will be ups and downs, most of us have all experienced it. Most families learn that there are 3 tools that children with ADHD benefit from. An educational plan ( yes even as young as your son is) to help address his needs in an educational setting, behavior/training to help him understand his behavior and how to change it. The research shows how much benefit children receive from medication ( there are non-stimulants and stimulants- no it should not change their personality, justbstops the symptoms) to help them focus, sit still not talk as much, etc. It can be explained like if we had a child with vision issues, we would get them glasses to see better.

In addition there are behavior changes that parents can make ( punishes after, no direct questions and understand when your child has reached their breaking point and stop it).

One thing that helped me a lot is knowing tomorrow is another day, if today was bad we reset tomorrow.

We want you to feel welcome and we are here to support you and what you are going through we have been there.

Big hugs!

Take care,

[Nats2005]

Our 5-y.o. son was diagnosed with severe ADHD and oppositional defiant disorder. We did end up going with medication, it's been clear educational supports/plans and behavior training (and diet) aren't going to be enough for our son.

That being said, the school he's in for kindergarten - which is a private special needs school that includes attention and executive functioning issues (i.e. ADHD) in its scope - is working with us on various accommodations. One is using different chairs like a rocking chair or a floor chair for when he just can't sit still at his desk. He also has a bouncy band across his desk for his feet. We're actually getting the rocking and floor chairs they use for ourselves at home for virtual learning.

We do have a rewards program where our son can earn virtual "dollars" to exchange at the end of the day for snacks or time with special toys. Up until this week it had been working fairly well; unfortunately Thanksgiving break has been a disaster so far. (I feel like he's probably upset his school just transitioned from a hybrid 3 days in-person/2 days virtual schedule back to all virtual and it's showing up in behavior.)

Another key is pick your battles. If you try and enforce a lot of nit-picky rules and respond to every silly or annoying behavior, you're going to get more defiance. Focus on important things like actually unsafe behaviors and let a lot of the other stuff go.