ADHD 6 year old trouble going to sleep- keeps calling me and getting up

[LOATer]

Hi, I’m wondering if anyone else is going through similar issues. My 6 year old girl with ADHD has a difficult time going to sleep (and makes things extremely stressful for our house). She takes only 5 mg focalin at 7am so it must wear off by 7:30pm. Her brain just will not relax. She can’t just lay there, even in morning when she wakes up she gets up right away. It’s either she’s awake or sleeping (Pass out) and not much in between. She keeps calling me to come in bedroom, or keeps getting up. I’m worried she doesn’t get enough sleep which makes her meltdowns worse - it’s an evil cycle. She does usually get up ok in morning, but she goes to sleep last and gets up first compared with my 5 year olds.

I try to stay calm and get her back to bed but I have so much to do in my own night routine (making lunches, cleaning kitchen, taking shower) that I do get frustrated and I get to bed later than I want to and am sleep deprived myself. I have tried things to calm her down such as doing mediation with her, give back rubs, tell stories, etc. but even after spending a while in her room then leaving, she calls me back in. I also tried a much quicker goodnight routine and explain I have to clean kitchen and get myself ready for bed but still calls me back. I feel like problem keeps getting worse. Last night she was still calling me at 9:30 (2 hours after I tucked her in).

A new issue lately is that she says she’s hungry after I put her to bed and she insists on getting up to eat. I started reminding her to eat enough during dinner and we are not eating more after brushing teeth. But she still storms out of bed to kitchen whining that she is hungry and starts eating something then I need to brush her teeth again. Sometimes I’m sure she ate enough and can’t be. Other times I think she actually might be since she dilly dallies during dinner, keeps getting up and talking and not focusing the whole time on eating. So she’ll be 30 min at dinner table but eat only 10 minutes and sometimes leave food on plate. If she stayed on task eating maybe she would finish her plate plus maybe ask for more food if still hungry.

We tried an afternoon booster only a few days to see if it would calm her down at night and have the effect of helping he sleep (inconclusive). But she gets home at 6p from daycare so that’s been tough. Does anyone have experience with an ADHD drug actually helping to sleep since calms and focuses mind and decreases hyperactivity and impulsivity? Her excessive talking and voice volume especially at night is an issue, she doesn’t know how to whisper well. Would like to avoid more drugs and sleep drugs. I’ll speak with psychiatrist again but wanted to start here for techniques to Help!

[Hidden]

We aren't using any medication for my son's ADHD right now, but he used to do the exact same thing. As a baby he never napped during the day, ever. Bedtime was rough, we always had a great routine and hubby and I always just ignore him after, but it would be at least 1-2 hours of him reading, playing, calling for water or bathroom or whatever. And even when he did fall asleep, he'd wake up at 5-6 am. His lack of sleep was causing major behavior problems, anger, frustration. It seemed like we weren't even able to begin addressing the ADHD issues just because he was so angry all the time. He also has anxiety so sometimes racing thoughts, fears, etc. would keep him up.

He's 9 now, and here's what finally worked for us:

-Continue solid bedtime routine - 1.5 hours before bed, say "This is the last time to eat. If you are hungry, have something now because it's your last chance."

-Absolutely no screens for 1 hour before bedtime (includes TV, Tablet, cell phone, etc. no exceptions. Makes a HUGE difference in his ability to calm down.)

-2mg Melatonin 30 min before bed (talk to your pediatrician. I've given him up to 3mg if it's been a rough day)

-Weighted blanket

-White Noise (we have a Dohm)

-Room temperature - if you have central AC, and it's in your budget, it has really helped our son. He's always hot, and so we run the AC to keep it around 67-68 which makes him feel better and encourages him to actually keep the weighted blanked on.

-Hue Smart Lightbulb on a dimmer routine, gradually gets darker over 30 min.

I know this seems like a LOT, and it is, but with all these combined, he's usually asleep within 15 min of lights out. NO JOKE. The change in our son has been UNREAL. Hubby and I often look at eachother now like, "Is this even the same kid?" He's still hyperactive and impulsive during the day, but he gets plenty of sleep now so the anger and cranky-ness is vastly reduced. His mood is so much better. He's happy the majority of the time, which I 100% credit to the improved sleep. Wish we would have figured all this out years ago. Hope that all helps!

[LOATer in reply to Hidden]

Thanks I will try those tips!

[hope-for-change]

I have similar issues with my son who is 4 years old. He has almost an impossible time shutting down at night and relaxing. His brain is constantly "on." He fights going to sleep every night and will have a HUGE meltdown. He too tells me he is hungry about an hour and a half after dinner. He can never sit still at the dinner table. He is up and down out of his seat and distracted by every little thing. I started giving him 2mg of melatonin about an hour before bed and really sticking to our night time routine of bath time, putting on PJ's and brushing teeth. I started using a gentle lavender soap and lotion on him as well. I let him hang out in my room with me on my bed for about a half hour before bedtime and this seems to help him wind down and fall asleep. We just spend that time talking and cuddling. Ever since I started using the melatonin he sleeps through the night without waking up. But he is still a very (very) early riser in the mornings. I hope you find a few remedies to help

[LOATer in reply to hope-for-change]

Thanks for the tips and comfort that we are not alone in this!

[librarianmom]

What you’ve described is exactly like bedtime for my 6 year old boy. I *have* to give him 5-10mg of melatonin for me to have any hopes of him going to bed. Our bedtime routine consists of a warm bath, pj’s, reading a book, brushing teeth, and snuggle/singing. If I give him the melatonin at the beginning of the bath then he’s usually ready to go to sleep without too much complaint.

He’s on a stimulant (Vyvanse - 30 mg) and I have to give him that before 7am, or it had not worn off enough for our melatonin and bedtime routine to work.

Unfortunately, we don’t see any sleepiness from Intuniv ER which I give him 2mg at 5:30.

If you want to try the melatonin, they sell bottles of 1mg chewable tablets for kids. I’ll say that my son built up a tolerance to that quickly, but I nearly cried with relief when I started giving him that and he fell asleep so easily.

Hugs to you, Mama. You’re doing a great job!

[Nats2005 in reply to librarianmom]

I didn't see much impact on my son's sleep until we got to 3 mg of Intuniv and started giving it to him around 4pm.

[Onthemove1971]

I second the opinion of using melatonin at bed time.

Also recommend you make sure she has plenty of exercise in the evening so she is very tired before bed. There are many tips about sleeping: cool room, no electronics 2 hours before bed, calm down before bed.

Have you tried rewarding her if she stays in bed? Whatever her favorite thing is double it so she will stay in bed.

If none of this works talk to the doctor who gives her her medication about it.

Good luck!

[3ros]

I've had the same challenges and still working on solutions to help. Our pediatrician recently recommended a magnesium supplement. There is a roll-on formula available on amazon and we tried it but my daughter complained of it itching her. I also just started the Natural Vitality Calm (Kids) but it's only been 2 days so hard to tell if it's working or not. My daughter is 8 now but when she was around 6 we also did "flashlight time" where we would turn the lights out and let her read or look at a book with the flashlight. This gave me time to start my own bedtime routine then I would go back in her room to turn the flashlight off about 10-15 minutes later, Sometimes she would have fallen asleep on her own by then. With her, knowing that I was coming back in at some point gave her comfort.

[Finn26]

My son (9 years old) is not able to take any stimulant ADHD drugs. He is so sensitive to it and was staying up late and waking during the night. He only takes Tenex now, and also Zoloft and Risperidone for other issues related to nightmares and anxiety. In the past, he was having trouble falling sleep but the worst was waking at 3-4 am and saying he was ready for the day! Ugh. I also give him Melatonin which helps. We tried the Calm app stories and other meditations but nothing worked! He would say his body was tired but mind awake! His twin brother just started Focalin and has no trouble with sleep.