Good food, I give up

I have tried and tried to give my daughter good food. Hummus and pita in the lunch along with soup that remains hot. Fresh fruit as well with cheese and nuts. Eggs for breakfast with a protein drink and a bagel. Dinner salmon with Quinoia. All rejected. In the morning, she'll drink the protein drink if it is chocolate, picks at the eggs and eats only a 1/4 of the bagel. She barely eats lunch at all (which I understand she's on concerta) dinner, nada (I don't like this anymore, no matter chicken, salmon, beef) she ends up eating pizza or a frozen cheeseburger at the end of the night when I'm desperate to get calories in her. I just wonder why I'm spending money trying to get good food in her when it never works?

[gracemom3]

Hey! all of that sounds delicious!! I don’t know what anyone would pass that down! Perhaps you could sit down with her and say I’ll make a deal with you, in the morning, you have to eat protein during the week. I’ll let you choose your breakfast on weekends. Then you can pick your lunches, but I get to pick your dinner. If you have a good week, I’ll let you pick your dinner Friday night.

How does that sound? Lol it is so hard w the whole food issue but honestly I think it’s more the age thing than anything else. They get bossed around all day- food is their one controllable besides when to use the potty!

You could write down your agreement w your daughter and post it in the kitchen. When she starts to complain, point to the list. And maybe on a weekend night say “oh it’s your turn to pick your dinner” good luck!

[Hidden in reply to gracemom3]

Love this idea!

[MaudQ]

I have two kids: one is an adventurous eater, the other is picky. Not because of anything I did - that’s just who they are. One thing I have learned, over the years, is that the more work I put into food, and the more excited I am about it, the less likely they are to eat it 😁 If it were me, I would talk to your ped and see what’s the minimum your kid needs in terms of calories and nutrients - and just focus on making the meal when her appetite comes back be something she likes and has some say in. I would kill to have someone cook and serve me a plate of salmon and quinoa - but I get why a kid might not be into it ... Some people - adults included - have a hard time with a piece of animal protein. It’s the texture or something. There’s protein in all sorts of things other than meat. A frozen pizza with cheese and a whole wheat crust (or even a white crust) might actually be good enough. Add an easy vegetable like baby carrots or frozen corn - and at least your kid is still alive 💜 And if you eat the salmon and quinoa, you are modeling that behavior for her and taking care of yourself. The less you can make it a power struggle the better. We use smarty pants vitamins - so they're getting something at least ... Try reading any of Ellyn Satter’s books - she’s a great resource. Good luck - you sound like a great mom - and a great cook! Your kid will appreciate it when she’s older even if she doesn’t now ...

[justine_lynae]

Oh, I feel you. Honestly, Lyla is the absolute worst eater. I’ve learned two things:

Get them involved in making their meals. Seriously. For some reason, if I make her sandwich it’s not edible, but if she helps me it will taste like heaven on earth. Blows my mind, but what do I know. Hell, I carve out little hearts in her sandwiches and cut her strawberries into different shapes. Lunch making is no joke, friends.

Second, every time you overreact and make a huge deal about her eating real food... you dig yourself a deeper grave. Just keep it simple. The more extravagant you are with her meals the less likely she is to eat them. You can sauté up a bunch of vegetables but is she really going to eat that? Probably not. Just save yourself the time and slice up some cucumbers 😂

Also, take it easy on yourself. I’m all for ketchup and ranch dressing when feeding kids. I know ketchup has a ton of sugar and isn’t healthy... and ranch is high in calories but seriously. If my kid will dip her veggies in ranch and eat them then it’s worth it.

Lyla still drinks Pediasure twice daily. She loves it, and it’s really giving her those extra nutrients that she needs. Don’t worry about it, you’re doing just fine. 💛

[willowadhd]

I feel for you I have the same issues just giving you a hug of support. You are not alone

[Luluisaac15]

Going through the same exact thing!!! My son’s occupational therapist is working with him on this ( trying new foods, jaw strength). It is so hard! I’m liteally packing the same things for lunch everyday ( favorite fruit, favorite “healthy snack”, and cheese ).

[MunchkinMommy537]

I don’t know how my son survives sometimes, he eats so little. Even things he likes he eats a couple bites and says he’s full. He eats cereal or oatmeal for breakfast, barely eats lunch (but insists on buying his lunch instead of taking it) and wonders why he’s grumpy in the afternoon! I like the suggestion of having a compromise over meals, because it doesn’t matter how nutritious a meal is if she won’t eat it. You didn’t say how old she is, but kids have more tastebuds than adults, which is why they prefer foods that (to adults) are kinda bland. That’s also why we tend to like things as adults that we couldn’t stand as kids (blue cheese dressing is mine). So maybe try working with her to find foods she likes that can be made more healthy.

[MaudQ]

One more thought - have you ruled out swallowing issues? I have a good friend whose kid is really picky and it’s because she has problems chewing and swallowing - so a lot of foods were making her feel like she was choking. They were able to do therapy for it and I think she’s doing a lot better now. Good luck!

[Onthemove1971]

We are in the same boat. Our son just lies about eating and we spend tons of $ on lunch. So now he will have to eat after school. No more! Done

[Alliea79]

I always wondered if this is a “just kids being kids” issue or a “my kid is worse” issue. I spend time love and pride into dinner every night. We recently moved and for now I’m home every day. I need to be to work full time with experts trying to figure out her med and and endless effort on her IEP. Any how, every night same thing. She eats a little bit of whatever one thing she can stand on her plate and then she either sneaks the rest of the plate into trash, or just as much fun is me scraping her entire dinner into trash the next morning so I can do dishes. It not only hurts my feelings and makes me feel bad, but I am trying to take it less personal and that just leaves me concerned for proper nutrition needed for healthy development.

[Applecrisp]

Right here with you! Picky eating drives me nuts. I grew up in a family of foodies. We all maybe had one or two things we hated, but otherwise ate everything put in front of us. Now I’m cooking around three of us with different food allergies and two kids who have endless rotating lists of “I don’t like it!!!”

It is important to keep them eating the biggest variety you can and keep them trying new things. Both my kids resist the variety but if I start restricting down to their favorites they get worse and even start rejecting that stuff! They get on a shrinking island of barely eating any foods and we have to restart the whole process.

Our son’s counselor worked with him and he has really changed his attitude though. He’s started eating a few more things and stopped the dramatic whining and freaking out. Meals are somewhat more peaceful. We still battle the sneakily tossing away food and medicine so on some things we just have to be the enforcers. We’ve tried deals with him of all kinds, but eventually the impulsiveness and stubbornness wins out and he refuses to play ball.

It’s tough. Hang in there!