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8 year old meltdowns getting more aggressive help!

Edwards021 profile image
21 Replies

I have an 8 year old, who is medicated. Since the summer holidays his meltdowns have gone 10x worse he nows hits and swears at me which he has never done before. I don’t know what could of triggered it. He meltdowns if he can’t get is own way. We do star charts and a consequences. I just don’t know why all of a sudden he gone like this, he can’t seem to control himself when his medication has worn off.

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Edwards021 profile image
Edwards021
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21 Replies
Janice_H profile image
Janice_H

Hello, being disrespectful is not acceptable. This must be so hurtful and upsetting to deal with.

Have you talked with his doctor about the behavior changes? Many medications can cause aggressive behavior and mood changes. It sounds like you may need to have the meds adjusted. Does he apologize when he has calmed down? Is there any recollection of how he misbehaved? Try getting him into behavior therapy. The therapist will work with you on how to identify triggers and how to handle the tantrums. They will help your son find new ways to express his anger. Good luck!

Edwards021 profile image
Edwards021 in reply to Janice_H

When he on his meds he actually okay, it more the impulse when the medication wears off. We hoping for him to start play therapy soon as camhs have a 3months waiting list 😫. Just so weird for his behaviour to have such a dramatic change x

Ldydy24 profile image
Ldydy24 in reply to Edwards021

Hi there. What time is his last dose of meds and is he on short or long acting (xr) meds? He may need a small dose of meds in the late afternoon to help him transition into the evening. What it sounds like your son is experiencing is the crash after the meds wear off. We give my son 5 ml around 3pm and this helps a lot for homework, activities, and to transition into the evening. Without it an argument or meltdown can be triggered over something small. Definitely discuss with your dr. Sticker charts won’t work for this in my opinion.

anirush profile image
anirush

Sometimes medication causes this, sometimes additional medication needs to be added to control the anger. My younger grandson has always had severe anger issues and has more than one medication to handle it.

This is the first year ever that he has not been to the principal's office at all! And he is 13.

Edwards021 profile image
Edwards021 in reply to anirush

What other medication does he take? X

anirush profile image
anirush in reply to Edwards021

Straterra, intuniv and risperdone. No problems at school but he still get irritable at home at night.

mdmom profile image
mdmom

We are dealing with the same exact issue with our 7 year old who will be 8 next month. He has the same teacher from last year and she said she sees the same thing with increased anger, frustration, and aggression. We had to increase his Focalin a tiny bit and change his Intuniv dosing schedule. While it seems to have helped a little in school, we don't see much difference at home when the Focalin wears off. I think the doctor may have to add in something like Abilify. We are going to a behavior clinic but have only been twice so far. The new behaviors are stressful and exhausting to deal with. I hope it gets better for you!

Pennywink profile image
Pennywink

My son gets hard to handle in the evenings after his stimulant wears off. I’m not sure if tingly worse with age, or if it’s just because he is bigger. Not anger & meltdowns, mostly just loud / obnoxious.

Here’s some things that help us:

1. Evening booster of stimulant medications. This has been the only thing that has REALLY helped. Especially on nights with activities like Cub Scouts. We try to get him in bed before it completely wears off. It’s easier for him to fall asleep in that “meds starting to wear off but not completely out of his system” phase and we’re less likely to deal with his obnoxious behavior at bedtime.

2. For my son, a lot of it seems to be a combination of overstimulation paired with worn out self-control. So on nights we don’t give the evening booster, we try to get him lots of physical activity after school, but then really calm things down after dinner. We don’t seat him near his little sister at dinner, and have him just be with one adult for the rest of the evening. He does a lot better when there is only one adult & no one else. A good hearty meal and maybe small sips of something sweet help a tiny bit too.

3. Consistent early bedtime. For my son, this is equally as impactful as stimulant medication (when he’s tired, it’s almost like we didn’t give it to him.)

Cjkchamp profile image
Cjkchamp

A situation I know all too well. Look into broad spectrum micronutrients. They were recommended by my son’s psychiatrist and helped tremendously. There are two companies, Hardy Nutritionals and True Hope. Wishing you the best!!

Aspen797 profile image
Aspen797

Have you increased medications lately? We discovered that Guanfacine XR can interfere with REM sleep in dosages above 1 mg. Lack of REM sleep (due to meds, snoring, etc) can really effect behavior.

Pennywink profile image
Pennywink in reply to Aspen797

Good point! My son reported troubles with waking up in the middle of the night on Intuniv. I wasn’t sure if it would have helped to change when we administered it, but as we had other concerns with it we went ahead & moved to another med.

Mmagusin profile image
Mmagusin

Doctors don’t seem to want to acknowledge that there is a crash when coming off the meds. It’s like his body is so reliant on the stimulant it has a 10x opposite effect when it wears off. For our son, it’s important to get him fed & to avoid responding emotionally to outbursts. Food is a major antecedent. His last dose of Focalin XR is at 1:30pm. This wears off by 6. We call this ‘the witching hour’ where we avoid bad situations for him. He can get very ODD & aggressive if we respond with too much anger. We don’t accept aggression & there is consequences but it rarely prevents meltdown. Threats when he’s raging doesn’t stop it. It’s way better to ignore him until he’s calm. He does do timeout chair when he gets disrespectful so that helps settle him down.

KCsBM profile image
KCsBM

Our doctor warned is about that coming down effect. What's been most helpful for us is having snacks/food options that our son likes readily available after school. Aside from him being cranky, he is usually very hungry. Getting him fed helps with his mood. The issue still remains to be the medicine wearing off, though for us, it's been helping to alleviate two things with one stone.

Edwards021 profile image
Edwards021

Thanks for all your comments, no medication change lately. He started junior but after this 6 week holiday he been so angry and aggressive and cannot control his emotions. I have had to send him to him dads for a couple of days as I really cannot cope. But know I feel I have failed him and worried he will hate me for it 😢😢xx

proverbs4-6 profile image
proverbs4-6

Hello, I am going through the same thing my son started medication for the first time in august when school started. He did very well except for the loss of appetite and loosing weight. So we changed his medication but now his behavior at school and at home is aggressive having melt downs everything is the end of the world for him he cares nothing about consequences or rewards. We go back to doctors this week I may need to change his medication again I have not given it to him in the last 2 days to see how he does.

Edwards021 profile image
Edwards021 in reply to proverbs4-6

What medication is he on? He great on his medication. I just can’t explain where this anger comes home x 😢😢

proverbs4-6 profile image
proverbs4-6 in reply to Edwards021

was on concerta but he lost weight too fast , is now on vyvanse

Edwards021 profile image
Edwards021 in reply to proverbs4-6

My son is on this too. It been much better for him than the ritlian

Crunchby profile image
Crunchby

Quick reply to add to all the great replies above. Coming off of meths can be hard or soft. I found certain kinds had a harder 'off'....and my kid experienced crashes and was super crazed/defiant x10 ...normal defiant is x2. :). Anyway, we switched around and foudn Vyvanse works best for coming off..there is still a small crash at the end, but not as bad. Immediate release are the worst at crashing at the end. Good luck!

hope111 profile image
hope111

I echo the food comments. My son is a completely different kid when he is hungry vs fed, and even at 8 he often doesn’t realize it’s hunger driving or magnifying anger and irritability. I go for getting any food into his system that he likes - honestly even just a few bites can be transformational - and then focus healthy/balanced foods once he has started to function again. I’ve taken to carrying food with me at school pickup for the last year or so - other parents act surprised but then I see them start to try it too!

Pennywink profile image
Pennywink in reply to hope111

That’s a great idea!

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