My 13 yr old has Saturday school. He has a F in ELA, D science, A art, B PE, B Math, C History. I look at his grades 3 times a week or more. I just looked at his history grade breakdown: homework/classwork: 45% 183/383 pts 47.78%
Test/quiz: 45% 125/120 pts 104.16%
Technology: 10% 37/100 pts 37%
My son never studies for test ever & he has an A+ on that section. I know everyone has problems with their child doing homework & turning in assignments if anyone I mean anyone finds the secret to this please share, please! I asked my son why donāt you use your planner? His response...I donāt want to look stupid. I was harsh with him & I told him well son if you fail 7th grade then you just might. I know wrong thing to say! I was just so frustrated with discussing the same thing, every night, every week. I think itās definitely time to get him started on medication. What is the 1st medication your child was given? Thanks for letting me ventā„ļø
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Rh2herrera
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I could have written this post. Unfortunately, there is no magic. The one thing that has helped us is to talk about how close he is to a "x". For us that goal is a C or better in every class. The one thing that has helped is talking with his therapist about his behavior and what it cause it. For example " when you do not turn in your homework, you get an F. That means you will not be able to do sports, drive, or have your phone. This works for a short while. He has to own his behavior for it to change.. no quick fix here. Sorry.
If your son has received a diagnosis of ADHD or other disorder you can present this to the school and have a 504 or IEP established. The first step is to get him evaluated a psychiatrist or psychologist who can diagnose him and talk with you about medication. Request a meeting with the school IEP team to determine what educational services he is eligible for.
My 11 yo with ADHD was first diagnosed in kindergarten. He has had an IEP since first grade and has been on 4 different medication trials.
We have an IEP. We don't do homework. It is taken so much stress out of my life not having to worry about that.
One child has a study hall said his mentor at school helps him in. The other periodically stays for tutorials after school one-on-one with the teacher.
My son is 13 and is also struggling and heās in 8th grade. The curriculum for middle school gets much harder. I also follow up a lot to make sure all assignments are turned in and he studyās for tests. Otherwise grades would be Dās and Fās. My son goes to a Catholic school so they donāt recognize 504/IEPs but they do allow him more time on tests. I would highly recommend working with your sonās school on a plan if they allow it. ,Has your son been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD? If yes I would definitely work with a child psychiatrist to test medication. It has helped my son a lot and he canāt survive without it. There are a lot of medications to try so if one doesnāt work move on. It took us 8 different meds before we found the right one. My son takes a combination of short and long acting Focalin but again every child is different.
My son takes Vyvanse which is a long acting form of adderol. With school it's an ongoing situation of trying to figure out what works and what doesn't. Just don't give up on trying, you'll make it through.
None of my boys have ever wanted to study for tests and I've had to be persistent with designating days and times that they have to study for. With my two boys who have IEPs, it is written on their IEP that teachers have to notify me ahead of time about tests and major projects. This way I can be aware of what is coming up and make sure my boys are taking the time to study or do sufficient work on the project to get it done. It doesn't always mean the grade will be the best, but they at least have a better chance of getting a better grade.
I have been reading a book called āSmart but Scatteredā as mine does his assignments but always late. I asked the school counselor for help by providing a list of assignments and when they were due but they refused telling me to look at their on line tools. Nightly we sit down and look together. Hope it helps
4:00 is worst part of the day!! My 8th graderās tank is EMPTY. I have to push and push him. Iāve tried everything too. He still resists hw and studying. I have found that compliments and encouragement from teachers has the biggest effect. When he does well on a test or assignment AND a teacher tells him how capable he is, etc, it goes a long way, and he is motivated for a while after that. Iām wondering if maybe one teacher can try this to see if it inspires him, at least temporarily. And omg YES, medication is a must. My son takes 15-20 mg Vyvanse in the morning. It gets him through the school day - it allows him to focus and LEARN while at school. He doesnāt like it but he knows it is absolutely necessary for his focus. Good luck!
Highly recommend giving your son a small dose of meds after school as it helps a lot with homework/studying. My son gets a morning dose of meds and at lunch so by the time he gets home from school, all meds are out of his system. If he doesnāt have a small dose around 4pm, he canāt concentrate and the fight begins. We also found a small dose helps him transition into the evening.
My son is on Focalin. Itās the only one that controls his impulses plus helps him concentrate. Heās a very high metabolizer so he gets a combination of short and long acting meds with breakfast then just short acting at lunch. At 4pm he takes just a 5ml pill and that helps him concentrate and transition into the evening. What is IR meds Iām not familiar?
IR is instant release. My pediatrician won't prescribe instant release, and Im not sure another small dose of Vyvanse is good idea because it takes a little while to kick in, and I worry about it keeping him awake at night. Vyvanse is extended release
Your right itās takes awhile for the extended release to kick in and thatās why we do a combo for my son. Pedestrian are not well versed in ADHD medicine. We also started working with my sonās Pedestrian when he was first diagnosed but then switched to a child psychiatrist. It saved us because my son is so complex. I would fight for some short acting meds to help you at the end of the day. A very small dose right after school will help a lot. If your pediatrician refuses, time to get a child psychiatrist to help you. In most cases my son can sleep and when he canāt shut down his brain, I give him a melatonin gummy 1.5 ml and heās out within an hour. He had a very hard time sleeping when he was younger but as he matures heās been able to self regulate his sleep.
My son also 13 and in 7th grade is failing as well. This is after they put him on a reduced work plan! Basically the only homework he should ever have is classwork he wasnāt able to finish. Technically that means he shouldnāt ever have any homework BUT this is my severe ADHD child with Executive Function issues weāre talking about. He was diagnosed in Kindergarten and has been on so many different medications just trying to find that perfect cocktail. So my only advice if you do decide to put him on medication is to be patient! Donāt expect the first medication to work. You may get lucky though which is great!!! ā¤ļø
Instead of an elective like art my son has academic support and does most of his homework there while still medicated. That helps a lot. He fires to boys and girls club after school and they have power hour where all the kids work on homework. if it involves writing it still doesn't get done so we are getting him tested for other learning disabilities to see if we can get more help with that. I also told the school in our last 504 meeting that I won't have him do more than 1 hour of homework atgone and we set a timer. If he knows that is it he seems to focus better.
Same here, no elective and curriculum support. Time for homework, check notebooks and catch on any missing assignment. Best thing we have ever done. We stimulate him so much out of school but he would not make it with out the C. Support and the teacher who is helping him.
I went the opposite way., My son- 12 in 7th grade. Funny thing? The kid LOVES origami. So- Ibought stacks of cool types of origami paper... including a daily calendar that has 365 days of new origami. So, hereās the deal:
If teachers think kid is doing well in class? Classwork done, homework turned in, communication done etc. etc. He gets an origami paper.
Should come home with 7 of them every day. If not, we know what ones to celebrate and which class needs work,. Our goal is to not overwhelm him and teach short and long term rewards.
And then I can silently watch for trends in class, knowing which ones to focus on and where to celebrate wins!!!!! Skipping homework and getting ice cream is a great day!
I love this idea, I sometimes wonder if I reward his teachers for working with him and not "allowing" him to get an F, if he would do better. Teachers who do not believe in him or connect with him give him an F and don't try to help him. Very sad...
Hi! I have a 13 year old with the same issues great tester but bad grades. Example 150 out of 150 on Math unit test but D in class. He is in the 8th grade this year and was notified today that the only way he can participate in the graduation ceremony is if he get 3Aās and 3Bās this final semester. Big struggle for him. He is disappointed and overwhelmed. Homework is our battle, I only wish i could find a way to be more helpful. I know this isnāt any help but you are not alone. Hugs mama bear, good luck.
Rh2herrera- not sure how things are going for you guys.
But I learned something that I think could really help. I will be asking the 2 teachers that he is struggling with to give him a 0 not an F. Then he should be given 1 week to catch up on each assignment and if he doesn't turn it in then he goes down 1 grade each day. To me this is a win win.. they get to add something to their books and we get to DO the work. This way he doesn't continue to fail and not do the work. My son has English A, Math A-, Curriculum support A, PE A + and Science F, History F.
But here are a few things that have helped me to understand our son ( and I believe each child with ADHD) if a child is shown by a teacher confidence, caring and willingness to work with him he will get an A. If teachers don't then he will always give him an F. Our son has come home saying "I know my teacher hates me" and that is a big reason I am getting an F.
The other thing is their internal motivation, when they are not eager to learn the material and they do not put energy into the class, they will fail.
I am new to this forum and have a 12.5 year old boy who was diagnosed with adhd at age 8. He is currently struggling at school with basically everything except those subjects that are more hands on. I was very interested in the post above and would like to know if you had found this helpful for your son. I was going to approach the school wrt to allowing my son a second chance at improving his grade. I am at a loss as to what to do. His dad and I are separated and not a great deal of work gets done the week he isnāt with me.
Thanks for your post. Middle school is hard for our boys. In the best situation he would have been successful in school this year but it didn't happen. I would not ask to re-do anything, just accept and move to next year.
Hoping your son has a 504 plan with extensions in it for late homework.
Even if he doesn't have a 504 plan, please set up a meeting with all teachers in the beginning of the school year ( this is very hard for a parent to do, but I find it is the only way to clear everything up)
Re-arrange for high academic classes early in the day ( if he is taking medication) and request a study skills class.
Then make sure he can establish a relationship with his teachers. The school should have a check in system set up.
Lastly please find a thearpist he can talk to who can help you, help him be successful.
Hope all these ideas help, please know we are all here for you if you need us.
Next year is the last year before high school when grades really matter, so hope you can get some going for him.
Thanks for your speedy reply. I am in constant contact with the teachers and have quite a good rapport with them. They are helping every way they can, however he doesnāt have extensions in for late homework or assignments which is something I will discuss particularly for assessments and perhaps they will give him the opportunity to improve the mark and perhaps instead of an exam for some subjects can he have an oral exam. He will still be meeting the curriculum and he knows the work but has trouble expressing it on paper.
Iām not sure what a 504 plan is, we are at a catholic school in
Australia. I wonder if it is similar to a PLP (personalised learning plan)
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ADHD, lost, scared, life seems to be repeating itself
Medication
Holding back a grade
Mother to 15YO Freshman boy
