Eating crisis: My 10 year old daughter... - CHADD's ADHD Pare...

CHADD's ADHD Parents Together

23,093 members6,157 posts

Eating crisis

WYMom profile image
10 Replies

My 10 year old daughter is barely eating at school anymore. She keeps saying she doesn't have enough time. She is the slowest eater in the world.We have tried a large variety of things. Today she came home with her entire lunch EXCEPT the Jello untouched.

She doesn't really do sandwiches. She gets a lot of what could be considered charcuterie because she can eat that sort of thing faster.

Just not sure what to do with her. We are a very good adventurous household and she eats a wide variety at dinner but lunch ..no.

My husband is thinking we should make her protein shakes for school at this point.

She has maintained her weight on medication for the most part, though hasn't gained weight and I was a very skinny child, but I'm worried.

Any tips?

Written by
WYMom profile image
WYMom
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
10 Replies
STEM_Dad profile image
STEM_Dad

There are so many possibilities, so I will mention any that come to mind. I do not know the likelihood of any of these. The best person to ask to figure out why she is not eating enough at lunch is your daughter.

To start with, ADHD medications can reduce the sense of hunger. This especially goes for stimulant medications, so she is on a stimulant, then while it is active she may not feel hungry and only be eating a little bit because she knows she needs to eat something.

If she is as distractible from her ADHD as I was as a kid, she might simply get busy with things and forget to eat. For much of school, I was an avid reader, and while lost in the book I would ignore the entire world around me. I was also very introverted as a child, and avoided a lot of the socializing that many of my peers were engaging in. In younger grades, I did use much of lunch time as recess, if I felt like I would be included in some of the games going on, but otherwise I might just sit on the bench and draw in the sand.

(I did eat lunch back then, because I definitely got hungry, but I was also not diagnosed with ADHD and taking stimulant medications. Back in the '80s, when I was a kid, I think the only medication available for ADHD was Ritalin.)

If your daughter is more active and outgoing, she might be spending her available time at lunch socializing or playing on the playground. Her interest in those activities might distract her from even feeling hungry.

Many children go through periods of time when they are picky eaters. Some children also experience sensory issues with food. She might like charcuterie at home, when it is freshly prepared, but when it is room temperature from sitting in a lunch box for hours her experience might be completely different with the food. Sensory issues and sensitivities tend to be more common among children with adhd, autism, or other neurodiversities.

She might be feeling anxious at school, either from her academics or her peers or both, or something outside of school. Anxiety can affect appetite.

As a 10-year-old girl, her body and brain might already be going through changes related to the onset of puberty. I am male, so I do not know what the female experiences like other than what I have heard and read, and what I experienced as a father to my older daughter going through puberty.

• Some girls around that age might even experience having a crush on someone. There's a reason why our society has the term "puppy love", and that is exactly because some people do experience crushes and romantic ideas at a younger age than most.

Lastly, and most of all I hope it is not this, some people can't develop body issues at a very young age. Body dysmorphia might affect some people that young (but I don't know if it does; I'm just a layman when it comes to psychology, especially child psychology).

kdali profile image
kdali

We send a protein shake and variety of things she picks out. I try to find higher calorie items she will eat, and rotate what I offer so there's something new all the time.

WYMom profile image
WYMom in reply to kdali

What do you send? We bought a bunch of stuff when we were at the store. Interested to see what works.

kdali profile image
kdali in reply to WYMom

We currently send ready to drink carnation instant breakfast high protein, chocolate. I have the strawberry on hand in case she gets bored. She liked Orgain for a short time, but it has fewer calories. I tried the instant breakfast packs in a shaker cup, but she didn't like that. Last year, I sent horizon chocolate or strawberry milks with her snack, but she needs the extra protein now.

For her snack, her goto is cheddar Pringle's chips. She rotates through chocolate chip mini muffin packs, granola bars, yogurt covered raisins, yogurt pouches, and dried fruits. Her teacher last year kept an emergency stash of Apple Jacks cereal (something we don't have at home, so it's exciting) in case she was refusing to eat but hangry. None of these are great, I know, but she's eating something. She hates pop tarts and cereal bars, which they do have at school 🤣 When I could send lunch, I put a bunch of different things in a bento box so she had choices (her favorites are low calorie raw veggies and fruits). I would do this for snack again if she had more time to eat 😵‍💫

GL! I hope you bought some winners! We have a nut free school, but if we didn't, I would send nuts because they are fatty and quick to munch down. She likes flavored macadamias, pecans, and almonds. Also, Costco has a very rich high calorie chocolate milk she really likes, and it sometimes pushes her dinner calories up easily. I hope this helps you!

WYMom profile image
WYMom in reply to kdali

I bought a lot of nuts. She does like nuts.

Onthemove1971 profile image
Onthemove1971

Thanks for your post as a parent we always want to make sure our children eat well at every meal. Our son had some weird eating issues and our therapist ask questions like have you seen any issues with portion sizes be cut in half, storing food for later. If you don't see anything out of the ordinary a simple shake for lunch and hope she eats a good dinner and breakfast. Maybe send a few protein bars. Good luck hope things go well.

STEM_Dad profile image
STEM_Dad

Come to think of it, when I was in high school my mom got Carnation Instant Breakfast as a breakfast option. (It was the early '90s, so that was the closest thing to today's protein shakes.) I've always struggled with time management, and sometimes was leaving late to go to school because I was still eating my cereal. Hence the shake option.

(Different scenario, so I didn't think of it at first. I wasn't a slow eater, and I did eat my sandwich at lunch. For me, it was purely a matter of time management problems and procrastination.)

WYMom profile image
WYMom in reply to STEM_Dad

She actually gets carnation instant breakfast every morning. We tell the kids it's chocolate milk. So that's funny you mentioned that.

SurvivorFan profile image
SurvivorFan

We used to have similar concerns. They get such a short lunch period and then add in the distractions of a lunch room! I used to get so stressed about how much/little he was eating at school lunch. Now, I just make sure he gets a good high calories breakfast, dinner, and snacks after school and before bed. Plus on weekends you control lunch time! This makes up for weekday school lunches where he may only eat a little. Another option could be if she is complaining about being hungry at school maybe getting to have a small snack at some point? Does she have designated breaks/IEP where she could do this? Just a thought.

Unless she is losing weight I wouldn't worry about it to much!

MyDogAteMyRitalin profile image
MyDogAteMyRitalin

We have had similar issues and dealt with it by giving our son a big breakfast - basically leftovers from dinner the night before. He is also a slow eater, so at age 10-11 it took him almost an hour to eat breakfast, but at least he ate it. Now, at 14, he also eats a big breakfast and small lunch, but the eating speed has thankfully increased so that it only takes him 30 minutes. I always prepare it for him, though, so I can be guaranteed he is eating enough protein etc.

You may also like...

ADHD 6-year old crisis-level behavior in school

to help her. I know she's hurting and I just want for me and the school to be able to help her, but...

Iron deficiency & picky eating

when she was smaller, but as she has gotten older it has been extremely difficult to get her to eat...

Medicate until they stop eating?

and anxiety. She's on a very low dose (1 mg) of Lexapro which seemed to help a lot with her...

teenager won't eat or sleep

months. It has been super helpful in terms of his school day productivity. The side effects have...

Not eating enough, always full

working great, but he has lost weight and Im trying to get him eat high protein meals, any ideas on...