I have suffered so much as a mother of a 16 yr old ADD child who has fallen victim to an abusive friend, and is manipulated and blind to that reality, who also sneaks out, gets high, who is defiant and falls prey to any social influence. There is no impulse control, and refuses to take medication. When I took him to a psychiatrist, he asked me "what do you need from me" WTF?? He should be providing me with a list of supports and possible therapeutic measures. I read some of your concerns and my heart goes out to you with sadness and compassion, because being a parent is the hardest job ever, then just put a million pound weight on that with this type of kid. All my troublesome, at-risk students are also ADHD/ ADD- there's a connection here folks!! Why is this not being handled at a medical emergency national level? Please read the letter I just wrote the Dr. stating such family needs.
Hello Dr. T---- This is Michael Palacios' mother. We met with you @2 weeks ago. I needed to write a clarifying letter because I do not feel that our wants and needs were thoroughly considered, analyzed and dealt with and I figured it's not too late to try and get those needs met.
When you asked me what was it I needed from you, this rather puzzled me since you are the Dr., I was more expecting a list from you of problem solving ideas to analyze Michael's erratic behaviors. In your position, I felt you should know the best ways to figure out why my son is acting out so fiercely, if it originates from neurons not connecting in the brain, and how to reconnect and stimulate those areas-- if such a step was so called for, needed or diagnosed.
As I mentioned, all the parents of ADHD/ ADD disordered kids of whom I talked to have sons in this age bracket who are equally acting out in erratic ways, rebelling, sneaking out, lying, stealing, etc. There has to be a connection to this horrible brain disorder which has robbed us from our children- literally as I have heard "Aliens have abducted my child's brain". I am expecting you, as the professional to have done research on this and have answers. You didn't have anything to offer me. I need specific answers to why my son is acting this way, and with those answers there should be physical therapeutic procedures to fix this horrible disorder that is influencing or allowing my son to take decisions that may ruin the rest of his life.
I expect also that you would have given me resources to support us, like a parent support group, or something also for my son- a support group for ADHD troubled teens. As a teacher, I know this is not only my son going through this, and it is reaping havoc on families trying to deal with this. I have been trying to get on media offered support, and families are struggling desperately, not only myself. This seems to be an epidemic in this country. Parents, like myself are desperate.
If you would like to coordinate with me and build these systems for kids and families, I would be willing to lead such a coalition, and hopefully publish and lead to national attention. Something stronger needs to happen. But I want you to know, that simply offering medication in strong cases as ours, is not enough. A deeper investigation is necessary.
My son is being sent to Texas where he will have stronger structure from his father. I won't have the chance as of now to send him back to you. This letter should not be taken personally, yet more challenging professionally to seek a deeper, more thorough, investigative diagnoses and problem solving approach.
thank you- Maria J