Should your 3 year old be locked in his room

Should a 3 year old be locked in his room until he calms down

[Pennywink]

Locking him in wouldn’t be my first strategy, unless he’s presenting a danger to others, or maybe if other strategies fail.

For my 6 year old, I let him pick his calm down spot - giving him some control helps, without forcing my hand to back down. If he’s resistant, I can also add “Pick your spot, or I’m picking it for you.”

For my 2 year old, she doesn’t choose yet. I just stand within peripheral vision & calmly, without saying anything or making eye contact, keep putting her back in her calming spot if she gets out (similar to when we transitioned the kids to a toddler bed.) The first time or two is a pain, but eventually they seem to get it.

[MunchkinMommy537]

From past experience I would say no. Kids who are in an emotional crisis need support from the people they love. Locking them in their room doesn’t provide that support. Also, as he gets older he will be able to do more damage to himself and his room if he’s left alone.

I like rckline’s suggestion of letting them pick a calm down area. My son is in a special class in school and they have a designated area they can go to when they need it. Maybe create a space in your home that is in the general living area but off to the side where he can go to calm down. Some pillows and a blanket, maybe some calm down jars. You could even get a kid’s tent to give him more separation without removing him from your presence.

[reg2018]

This is a great question. Each child is different and as we get to know our child we come to know what works and what doesn't. I have four sons all of whom are very different when they get upset. One of my sons I can send to his room when he's upset to calm down as you say. Another son when he was younger if I were to send him to his room until he "calmed down" would end up escalating worse causing severe damage to his bedroom walls and closet doors. I would send him to his room but after about a minute before it got to the escalation point I would tell him to "stop it" and he would settle down.

[Onthemove1971]

We do not "lock" our son in his room to calm down. I think the important thing to do is try not to get to this point where this is needed. You start to learn the triggers that cause this and then "rearrange" life so you don't/try not to let this happen.

Hope this makes sense, behavior thearpy is a good idea.

[JoyousExpectation]

I don’t think it is good to isolate anyone of any age when they are upset. Allow him to experience his feelings and express the feelings with the support of a trusted adult. If needed lock yourself in the room with him and repeat over and over that you can see he is angry and sad and frustrated. Give him the words to describe how he feels.

[jschwab39]

I like munchkinmommy537’s idea. My daughter was recently given an IEP so she started Pre-K in a regular class. Luckily she had a wonderful teacher who created a “quiet garden” in the classroom where anyone could go to calm down. We did one at home in our living room. It doesn’t work every time but it’s definitely preferable to locking someone in their room.