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3 Defining Features of ADHD that Everyone Overlooks

Pennywink profile image
14 Replies

A family member (who is a psychologist) sent me this article. It describes my son better than almost anything else I’ve read, so i thought I’d share. Thoughts?

additudemag.com/symptoms-of...

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Pennywink profile image
Pennywink
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14 Replies
Onthemove1971 profile image
Onthemove1971

rckline- Thanks for posting this article. I feel like this is one I need to read and re-read a number of times.

The thing that stood out the most for me is that our son sets such high standards for himself and we tell him they are unreachable.

He is working with a cross trainer right now and we were discussing how it was going and he told me he learned that sometimes if you don't meet your goal you just set your next goal "just a little bit higher"...

You never know what will help them or who"...

Thanks for this article, I am enjoying it.

Pennywink profile image
Pennywink in reply toOnthemove1971

That's great advice from the cross trainer - and reminds me of my running training plan, to push just a little bit past what you think you can.

It's a great mindset, as my son is definitely headed for underachievement syndrome. If he isn't instantly good at something, he doesn't want to do it at all.

ZosMom profile image
ZosMom

This article was so helpful, thanks for sharing it. I want to share it with everyone who interacts with my son.

Pennywink profile image
Pennywink

You are welcome!

The one that really stuck out for my was Hyperarousal. My son is diagnosed Inattentive, and I really think he is combined. He definitely has severe impulsivity, he just doesn't physically present the hyperactivity as outlined in the DSM. I've always said "but his brain is hyperactive!" If he's awake, he is "on", so hyperarousal is a much more accurate assessment.

it also helped explain this really hard to research phenomenon of why he acts up when more more family members are around. At first (pre-diagnosis), we all thought the other must be the enabler of bad behavior, as he would be fine with any one of us, but as soon as the second came home or grandparent came to visit, suddenly he was a train wreck. But then we realized it was that way for each of us. He wasn't trying to act up - he's just so overloaded with excitement & emotional when multiple of us are there, that he loses control.

Love4ever profile image
Love4ever

Can a child have ADHD and also ADD at the same time? And what’s the percentage of that happening?

Pennywink profile image
Pennywink in reply toLove4ever

My apologies if I am misunderstanding your question, but I believe it is all generally called ADHD now. Instead of ADD, I now more commonly see it referred to as ADHD-Inattentive (though some still just use the term ADD.) Which generally means they show symptoms of inattentiveness, but not as much of impulsivity or hyperactivity. Other types of ADHD would be Hyperactive/Impulsive and Combined (both Inattentive and Hyperactive/Impulsive.)

So yes, a person could have Inattentive (ADD) along with ADHD-Hyperactive. But instead of considering them each a separate co-existing disorder, they would just be put together as ADHD-Combined.

I’m not sure what the exact numbers are on people with Inattentive vs Hyperactive vs Combined, though I believe the majority of people diagnosed are Combined (someone please correct me f I’m wrong on this.)

MomofBells profile image
MomofBells

This describes my husband to a ‘T’. He went through several medications (in his early 30’s after getting married... I made him go to a psychiatrist to get something going-he had never been diagnosed).

My daughter falls more into the ‘all 8’ list.

Read “All About ADHD” by Michael Phelan. Best book on the subject for adults and kids that I have found.

Pennywink profile image
Pennywink in reply toMomofBells

I actually just got All About ADHD from the library. We really like Dr. Phelan’s book 1-2-3 Magic (also recommended by psychologists in the family.)

Mama_Maehem profile image
Mama_Maehem

I’d never heard rejection sensitivity before. But it explains my daughter! She’s wonderfully creative, but if I give her helpful (kind) criticism, she is heartbroken.

For example, she was entering a contest for drawing the yearbook cover. When I gave her feedback, like “The words are difficult to read. I think they would look better a bit bigger,” she got very upset.

I’ve told her that an important part of being creative is taking feedback from people who want to help you be the best. But it seems like all she wants me to do is say that I like whatever she’s making.

Pennywink profile image
Pennywink in reply toMama_Maehem

It’s definitely an area I want to learn better how to handle. And beyond that, to teach him coping strategies- since even if I tiptoe around it now, it’s not really going to help him down the line when he’s on his own. And sien family members whom I feel also fit this description seem to have developed very defensive or maladaptive coping mechanisms.

ZosMom profile image
ZosMom

I can relate. The other day I lifted something that my son couldn’t. He asked me if it was heavy and I said not really and he yelled “are you saying I’m weak?!” Like what? No lol. He thinks everything is criticism.

Vickie109 profile image
Vickie109

Additudemag.com has a weekly email that you can sign up for. Lots of great articles sent to you every week. I thought this was so interesting. So different than most of what is out there about ADHD.

DecaturDAD profile image
DecaturDAD

I first read this article some months ago, and it was probably the biggest "AHA" I've had out of everything I've ever read relating to ADHD issues. It really helped me understand my son in a way that I never had, particularly discussion of Hyperarousal and Interest Based Nervous Systems. Thanks for posting it and making it easy to read again!

I love it thanks

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