Traumatized by disorders

[Kknight85]

My son is diagnosed with ADHD plus a cognitive learning disorder. I believe his is autistic as well. I am getting him seen next week for testing autism. My problem is that I am having trouble controlling him because I was raised with a schizophrenic, bi-polar, antisocial disorder sister and I am still so traumatized by what she did to me as a kid. My parents didn’t know what to do with her and had no insurance to help. They were very permissive. She got literally everything handed to her for being bad just so she would leave them alone. I am doing the same thing. My son will not, will not, will not quit nagging me about everything!! It reminds me of what my sister did to me and I can’t take it any longer. I do my best to handle myself but he just won’t stop. I blow up on him all the time. He doesn’t realize that he is pushing all of my buttons. I feel like he is going to ruin my entire life just like how my sister has completely ruined my father’s life and has traumatized me. I feel awful. I don’t know what to do. I thought I would be more accepting of his disabilities because I know disorders first hand. But I am not. I am so resentful. I’m resentful of my own childhood and I don’t want to be resentful of my son’s.

[Shotsymama]

Wheeew sister! First of all... sending big big hugs your way! Second of all, your in the right place! This site has been a godsend as far as making me feel like I am not alone in the parenting struggle.

Do you have any type of respite from him so you can have some time to yourself? It's hard to come by as a mom, but necessary!

My husband just took our son to his parents for an hour and I'm drinking a glass of wine, painting my nails, watching Law and Order, and eating some of my kiddos leftover Easter chocolate. It's like a mini-vacay

Some behavioral therapists work with parents too and show them how to react to certain behaviors. I finally just got in touch with one and am keeping my fingers crossed that they can help.

[Kknight85 in reply to Shotsymama]

Thanks for the kind words. If he won’t stop nagging me then I do put him in his room and try to take a short break before the situation escalates. This site has been very helpful in knowing that I am not alone. He is so cute and I love him. I just wish he could realize when he is hurting my feelings and when he needs to stop. He has trouble letting go of things and wanting his way.

[pjv2001 in reply to Kknight85]

Have you ever heard of 1, 2, 3... Magic? Check it out. It’s a life saver. It helped me a lot with my own kids as well as my adopted daughter who has severe ADHD and no structure when she was little.