Never diagnosed

[Starrlight]

So my 10 year old son is having trouble focusing. Years ago some teachers said he had ADD but that since he was doing so well in classes that we would not worry about taking action (diagnosing). They did put something about ADD in his chart though. He does just recently complain about focus problems and being bored.Teachers and I have come up with strategies like taking breaks to do push ups , checking in with him, fidgeting with magnets...he’s doing really well in school academically is in an advanced placement class. I need to follow up to see how the breaks and all are working for him. We have started working a bit in s ADD workbook together also. I tried CALM supplement and that didn’t work out he said it did not help with focus and he felt “high” like his pencil looked wiggly to him and such.

Now my 6 year old is super hyper I can’t get him to calm down easily but at school he behaves well yet he is not doing so great on his report card. His teacher thought anxiety was the problem which I agree with but now tells me he is doing very well doesn’t appear to be anxious and he tells me he is happy at school now.

I have a tendancy to worry. I don’t really think at this time I should worry about diagnosis or medication but I can see getting to that point in the future. When my 23 year old was about 7 he was diagnosed with ADD and put on Adderall. I have mixed feelings about it. It seemed to work off and on and he didn’t like the way it made him feel. He is doing great now without medication.

I just wanted to share about my kiddos to see if anyone can relate... I am not feeling like it’s time for meds or even nesseccarily trying to diagnose but at times questioning what else I could be doing.

Thanks!!!

[Want2BHappy3]

I think everyone is quick to diagnose kids with ADHD and things like that, then medication. That's whats been said about my grandson. I told my daughter not take it seriously so quickly. Wait and see

[willandgrace]

my son is 13, and your situation reminds me of ours. I had him privately evaluated, and learned he had ADHD. But he did fine in school (he wasn't so active that his teachers saw it as a problem). He became extremely bored and would look out the window. I worked with him A LOT at home- I made sure he had all his materials and I kept track of assignments. I helped him study for tests and I checked all his work. I had a very strict routine for him when he got home. It was tough and we were both miserable. FINALLY, a year later, the light bulb went on for me- He needed medication. I actually feel badly for not getting medicine sooner because he cannot control his lack of focus, and that is what the Vyvanse helps him with. now that he takes Vyvanse he can FOCUS in school, and it is not tortuous for for him. He comes home and actually KNOWS what he learned that day. And he is able to sit down and do his homework ALONE. My son is very bright, and it was a disservice to him to not give him the medicine he needs in order to focus. He sometimes feels irritable from the Vyvanse but the pros outweigh the cons. And I do not give it to him on weekends or vacations. Also, he no longer feels incapable or less than the smarty pants in his grade. I actually think it's bordering on abusive to not give kids the medicine they need. ADHD is REAL, and people with it cannot control it. Also, every person's experience with medication is so different. Just because your older child had a certain experience has nothing at all to do with your other child. Trust me- I have two kids with ADHD- Different experiences altogether. They both take Vyvanse and are doing SO MUCH BETTER. Get a diagnosis! And if there is reason get meds. I got the diagnosis but did not medicate. And BEFORe I medicated I talked AT LENGTH with teachers, doctors, and I read everything I could find. I just want you to know that it is not something I took lightly. I resisted medication very much. But then I realized how wrong that was. I feel badly that I waited so long because my children's self-esteem was affected in the interim. My daughter was 18 by the time we realized she has ADD. I kept telling her that she just is lazy. And she couldn't understand why all her friends could read chapters in a boring textbook while she felt like her head would pop off. That boredom is REAL and it feels like an emergency situation to kids with ADHD. They just CANNOT stand the boredom. They really cannot. Medicine helps them get on an even playing field with the rest of the world.

[Starrlight in reply to willandgrace]

Thanks so much! I tried CALM one day and I hoped it would help him focus well it threw his focus off and it messed with him; he was seeing his pencil wiggle and such. The next day he could focus... I am taking everything into consideration. I am helping him with organization but he is pretty independent with his class and homework but he takes a long time on tests...he says he takes long on them because he wants to ace them as they are important yet focuses fine but classwork he gets bored with unless it interests him like weather or space etc...

[willandgrace]

Yes. All sounds very typically ADHD. My son takes long for tests too. He has no sense of time. And he lives very much in the present so he doesn’t budget time well - forget about long term assignments. But he’s well behaved and bright so he just completely went under the radar. Even now teachers don’t seem to believe he is ADHD. But he is, and I’m so grateful for all I’ve learned and how I’m able tohelp him now. You sound like a caring parent who thinks long and hard before acting. Your child is very lucky!

[Starrlight in reply to willandgrace]

Oh thank you so much! Your children are lucky too!