Newly diagnosed 5 y.o./tired mama

[KaylaJenkins]

My 5 year old what just diagnosed as ADHD, Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive Presentation. He stays in trouble due to being SO impulsive. I also have a hard time getting him to start and complete activities. For him to follow any directions, I have to completely stay by his side. Any advice would be appreciated. I find my self getting frustrated to the point of tears.

[Janemariekathryn]

I understand your frustration . My son was 11 before he was diagnosed . I believe that therapy with a Child Psychiatrist has helped my son and my husband and I to better understand what we are dealing with. Also reading books and articles about children with ADHD has helped immensely. My son is now 13 and we have to constantly be on top of him as far as school. I stay in contact with his teachers and his Guidance councilor to make sure he stays on task. The more you understand this disorder the less frustrating it will be for you. Also look into an ADHD diet. There are certain foods that may intensify the symptoms. Artificial colors and sweetener , soda, fast foods. process foods. The more natural the better. Less sugar and more protein. These are ideas that I have been trying. My son has issues swallowing pills so I also have him chewing a supplement vitamin called Smarty Pants. It's a multivitamin with omega 3 fish oil, fiber and vitamin D3 and B 12. I hope you find some of this useful. One last thing is I pray often. Faith keeps me grounded. Good luck!

[Zue0702]

Hi! I'm exactly where you are. My son is 5 just diagnosed, although I knew from very early on that he might have it. My frustration is not having the understanding from the school system, and constantly receiving sad faces in red along with a note, and today even a write up is disheartening. My child doesn't want to be like this... instead of writing him up, help me find ways to help him 😡

[Tkai523 in reply to Zue0702]

The public school system isn't set up for children with Adhd...my son has been too 5 schools and he is only in 1st grade. He continues to get into trouble but if theyre unable to control themselves then why are they always in trouble..the school system needs to research more about adhd and not penalize our children for what they are unable to control. It saddens me that at times u have to tell my son because he isnt behaving good at school he can't watch tv but he wants to behave just can't control. I pray a lot also it helps...

[Mommyofahero in reply to Zue0702]

Unfortunately schools lack knowledge on ADHD. I too recived those notes daily form my sons kindergarten teacher. I felt that it was starting to affect his self-esteem & he started believing he was "a bad boy". I recommend you hold meetings with school administrators, hold your foot down & be your childs advocate. I wish you luck & your child . God bless!

[Janemariekathryn in reply to Mommyofahero]

I agree! Teachers do not receive enough education on the topic. As a parent you need to advise your child's teacher and the schools support system on your child's needs. You have to educate yourself and the teacher about this disorder. I have older children and family members who are teachers. They receive minimal information on ADHD yet they deal with students and parents who are trying to understand and deal with it. You have to be your child's advocate and voice in school and life. I find so often that ADHD is disregarded! I hear other parents and teachers say " oh everyone has ADHD these days!" The problem is that they don't understand this disorder. At this point I feel that it's my job to educate as many as I can with the information and the lessons I have learned.

[Mommyofahero in reply to Janemariekathryn]

I agree! My son's 1st grd teacher shared with me & the IEP team at a meeting that her daughter too has ADHD, but her daughter doesn't know because she doesn't want her to use the "ADHD " card as an excuse. I felt disgusted & offended, ADHD is real! That's why so many people are unaware of it. That IEP went horrible, felt cornered to the wall & pressured by the school physiologist on medicating my son. Worst they gave me 1 week to think it over. I have nothing against medication BUT it's only a piece to the puzzle. Thank you for sharing & God bless.

[Janemariekathryn in reply to Mommyofahero]

Your totally correct! I think most teachers believe that medication is a cure! Your correct again that it's only part of the puzzle. I have helped my son to understand that ADHD is part of who he is and that we will work with it to be the best person he can be. I am also instructing him to advocate for himself in school. Most people have no idea of our children's struggles. It's important for our children as they mature to understand ADHD so that they can help others to understand.

[ucandoit]

I have been dealing with same issues for years. Seems like the magic number is 5. I think that is because that is when doctors will finally diagnose and prescribe meds. My little girl's issues started as an infant. Extremely fussy. Never slept. Didn't like to snuggle or cuddle and never stopped moving. Behavior through daycare years was very difficult to say the least. By the time she started kindergarten , the public school system didn't want to deal with her.She began with a behavioral therapist. Went for a year with absolutely no improvement. Doctor started her on focalin so she wouldn't get kicked out of school...was like a switch flipped...worked wonders. You have to adjust dosages through the years. Some can do the extended release, others 2 doses of quick release works better. Isn't a cure for all issues though. Still has OCD and eating disorder. Hoarding is a major problem too.She is 9 now. I'm trying to come to grips that there are more than likely be problems indefinitely. She sees both a therapist and psychiatrist and takes one 20mg.extended release focalin a day. It is critical that you get the school do an IEP for your child. Either social/ behavioral or education based, whichever applies to your situation. This opens up a ton of resources for your child. The school HAS to give them extra help and accommodations instead of them calling you at work complaining about their behavior or sending them home.YES...they can suspend or expell a kindergartener if you don't do this.

[Elijah1]

Learn more about your options. Russell Barkley's book Taking Charge of ADHD and info at the National Resource Center on ADHD (federally, not drug company, funded) at help4adhd.org are 2 options.

[Esnedegar]

My son is 9 and he has inattentive or attention, whatever the term is, ADHD. I have to sit with him while he does his homework. They are attempting to teach him to work independently at school, but I just don't see that happening any time soon. I wish they could let that go and focus on making sure he is getting the concepts that are being taught. We struggle hard with him forgetting his homework. its an everyday thing. He says he tries to remember but he just can't. His teacher and I made a plan for her to check with him everyday after school ensure that he has everything, but that just doesn't happen. I have had to go beyond talking and emailing her about it and I reached out to the principle about it, but he doesn't seem to get it. All this is sooooo far outside of my comfort zone. I feel like such a broken record, and I am the squeakiest wheel out there, but what choice do I have? I have so much anxiety around all this too. I don't know how to put it down sometimes and take care of myself. It can be all consuming and I am exhausted much of the time. I just want it to end and for him to get what he needs and for people to listen to me! I see what he needs but it doesn't feel like I am being heard. All I do is muddle through this maze of uncertainty and confusion.

[Janemariekathryn in reply to Esnedegar]

Does your son have a 504plan or an IEP? These are legal rights for him that the school is obligated to follow.

[thisoldcomplexhouse]

Hey everyone! New to the site and have not made an intro post yet but I saw this post so.....

I am a Mom with ADHD to a 5yr old girl with ADHD which only adds to I opted for a k12 online school because of her impulse and behavior. Her tantrums were getting out of hand with her hitting and spitting on me. I already prepared myself for what would happen at a brick and mortar school and decided to go with something better suited for her. I am not sure what I was thinking, we are getting through though. My meds make me a zombie so I refuse to take them and I dont want her feeling like that. We opted for trying to modify her diet and behaviors and having to sit with her during her school hours gives me the chance to tweek the teacher lead lesson to better fit her mood and ability plus if we have go take a break it allows us more flexibility because it is recorded. Once she reaches the 4th grade( if we have not killed each one another by then) lol I checked into school that specialize in nothing but ADHD/LD and Found one that is about 2 hours away. I am not sure if this might work for your family or has helped you with an answer but within the short time of her having hands on one on one and committing to behavior modification, we are seeing tiny improvements. There are so many flexible free options for online learning and most will supply you with any needed hardware. nobody in our families supports our decision but I know it was the right one for us because she needs more than what a brick and mortar school can support her with.. My parents were never proactive with mine and I do not want my child to feel that way. I am not sure how the rest of the year will go, interesting to say the least. I have spent so much time online I am thankful to have found this site. Most days between my brain and her brain, I am stressed out to the point of tears. Everything is a process and everyday gets a bit better.

I wish you the best!

[Janemariekathryn in reply to thisoldcomplexhouse]

My sons 8th grade Science teacher told my husband and I that he personally deals with severe ADHD. He wasn't diagnosed until he was an adult. He said that he had to try numerous medications before he found one suitable for him. He is a wonderful teacher! His students love him and enjoy his class. My heart goes out to you! To deal with it yourself and to try to work with a child with ADHD, I can't imagine . Thought I would mention this teacher to you because maybe a different medication may help you. I'm not pro medication but I'm not against it either. God luck and God Bless.

[thisoldcomplexhouse in reply to Janemariekathryn]

Thank you! I need to talk to that teacher and find out his secret! I am not so against it for myself maybe, if I could find one that worked without the crazy side effects.I do think it should always be a last resort in any case. My parents did not address me being complex in school and so it snowballed. After a semi-calm, uneventful day it is like she was saving all of it for this evening; the struggle is so real right now lol. Maybe, me being anti med is like a crazy person saying they are not crazy...................

[Painter2 in reply to thisoldcomplexhouse]

IF you were diabetic would you be anti-med? If you had high blood pressure, would you be anti-med? Read all you can. Love all the more.

[3xpisces in reply to Painter2]

But its a parents choice. I have tried 5 different med in the past year and i have literally watched my son waste away to nothing on his 1st med and literally stopped eating to him having suicidal thoughts and jumping out of my car running out of my house due to he 2nd med. To his 3rd med med him cry al the time and depressed. His 4th med i swear he became the HULK he was so angry my son unloaded on me that has changed me greatly that i have not had a grown person say to me. But my love and forgiveness to know thats not my child. Now he is on his 5th med and its working SO FAR cause next week that could change..

So i say as parents especially parents of kids with any disability we are judged DAILY in our walk we dont need judgement on if we chose to med/ or not. What works for some may not work for others. I was a non med mom but didnt have tools/support and was at the end of my rope with his outburst/esculation at school and daily calls to pick up from school (i had just started and new AWESOME job) i needed something else my love n hugs n kisses werent ENOUGH.

[3xpisces in reply to thisoldcomplexhouse]

I know between the two of you its stressful. But only you can understand your baby daily stress. After 2 years of battling my sons school who is in 3rd grade at a charter school i have made the choice to home school for 4th grade. My son has been kicked out of his school to multiple suspension to being admitted into er as a form of punishing me for standing up and demanding fair treatment (IEP). I have had school call dpss on me, police on me . So i say all this to say thus schools are supposed to help but they lack knowledge and look to parent for answers. Well thats hard to do when you are learning yourself.

Stay strong, have patience but home school will 1 less stress.

So far for me weekly therapy appointments are woking and medication of methyphletine extended release 10 mg is working. We still have our share of out burst, tantrums and angry yelling. But i am learning to handle and looking for an online parenting class.

We all in this together!!!!!

[thisoldcomplexhouse]

impactADHD has some pretty awesome parent training and lots of other webinars and resources