3yr old boy: ADHD possible

My son who’s 3 has been in school/daycare since 14 months. In his early developmental years, he was referred to early intervention services from 10-14 months for gross motor/fine motor/speech and physical therapy. His pediatrician indicated that he wasn’t meeting some of his milestones, and wanted to get him caught up. We obliged and he was transitioned out of services once he began daycare prior to his 2nd birthday—with the approval of his pediatrician. It wasn’t until this year, shortly after his 3rd birthday, that he started to display erratic/impulsive behaviors, and lack concentration during routined activities—solely at school. The school insists on getting him assessed by the school district, and states that they don’t have the resources to help him. My husband and I are confused, and don’t understand how this determination can be made at the age of 3?! Please note: th school doesn’t have any personnel that are clinical based, or anyone above a bachelors level degree. Any suggestions? Advice? Resources to seek assistance?

[EJsMom]

Age 3 seems quite young. I’m not sure of the correct age to evaluate but my son’s pediatrician said she waits until kids are in first grade. I mean how many 3 year olds are focused ?

That being said, by age 3, I knew my son was different.

Ask your son’s pediatrician for advice.

Public schools cannot diagnose kids. At least not where I live. They’re not even supposed to suggest it. If they do suggest it, the school district can be made to pay for it.

[Hidden in reply to EJsMom]

Well, I know my son enough to know that something isn’t right. He’s just a little more rambunctious than any other kid I’ve seen his age. He’s my only child, but I think it’s fair to say that I know him enough to know that his behavior appears a bit much, for lack of a better description. I don’t know if it’s ADHD, or something else?!? Extremely smart, but all over the place! I think we’re just bothered by his school. They claim to be a childhood development center—that’s funded by a state university, but they’re at a loss, and seem like they’re not interested in trying to help. But like you said, I think the best route would be to speak to his pediatrician to see if she has any suggestions.

[EJsMom in reply to Hidden]

You’re exactly right, you know your son the best. My son was like you described when he was 3-4. If you feel like he need to be evaluated by his doctor, then of course he should be.

I hope you didn’t think I was suggesting you didn’t know your own kiddo, I was actually speaking about the school possibly jumping the gun. Sometimes it seems like schools want to push things for the schools benefit and not the child’s. Forgive my lack of clarity in my first response.

[Hidden in reply to EJsMom]

No! You’re helpful! And even though I don’t know you, I appreciate you! No matter what my son is going through, he’ll get whatever he needs to be successful in this world. It’s just nice to be on these boards to speak to other parents who are going through something similar for support!

[Hidden]

I also knew my son was different at age 3. At the pediatrician's office they had the pamphlets hanging on the wall I showed the doctor the one that said ADHD and I said I checked yes to all the boxes in this pamphlet. She said my son was too young and not to worry about it yet. By the time he was in 2nd grade school had gone completely downhill and I knew he needed to be tested and something needed to be done. Tried every route before meds and then caved and went the med route. It greatly helped and he is now in 8th grade still on the same low dose he has been since then. Though he struggles still in school his focus/behavior is 100 times better. My advice: get the diagnosis early, get all the help you can as soon as you can. You can take him to a psychologist office to have him tested if you'renot comfortable with who they provide. It's most likely covered depending on your insurance. Only a licensed psychologist can diagnose him I believe. Discuss with pediatrician. Best of luck.

[jennifer425]

my son started school at age of 3 here in nj where i live and his teacher told me he need it more attention and he told me his opinions , they used to called me everyday to pick him up ... my son used to love to go to school but when he was in the school environent he didnt want to follow directions or do what ever his teacher used to tell him to do , so he and the school reccomended me to evaluate my son , my aon was just there half day they couldnt even handle him ,, but next year he went to a different school and same issues well i change him from school because i moved and same thing thats when that school talked to me about evaluated my son they did like 5 different evaluations but my son didnt meet the criteria for especial education. They said is just a behavioral problem he doesn't have academics problems but same thing they used to call me everyday I didn't know what else to do anymore so I contact a organization and they send me a letter to take to school and that's when they are evaluated him and he qualify 🤨 anyways they said he will go back to regular school when he changes his behavioral but now his 9 and he havent change lol omg but answering your question teacher do recognized when sometimes different at that age at least mine did.

[Cjkchamp]

Honestly I would take any help you can get. A lot of times schools won’t offer. I know the school district my son was in wouldn’t. I knew there were issues with my son before he was 18 months. You’re the mom so you get to decide. I just know if your child does have issues the earlier you can identify them and get services the better. Good luck!!

[WendyKirkpatrick]

OMG. This sounds like my life with our ADHD son. The best advice I ever got was from a pediatric nurse who saw we were going through everything you are going through now. She said "what are we talking about here, a 30 year old man who is an alcoholic who can't keep a job? These schools and psychologists and doctors and all full of themselves. Your child is a baby and no one has the right to diagnose him with any of this at age 3." Beware that the schools will just want to you drug your child so he won't be a behavior problem for THEM. It is much too early to provide such evaluations and they are so full of it. Doctors charge a lot for evaluations and our children are a cottage industry for them and the drug companies. Schools have no money for services until you fight them for it but they evaluate kids too young and recommend medications. I would not go near a neurologist with my child until he was at least 5 or 6. Maybe an allergist could tell if he is allergic to any foods or anything that might produce certain behaviors. You can read up on behavior modifications appropriate for your child. But YOU are the child's primary advocate, and please don't forget that. After years of this, I wrote, illustrated and self-published a book on Amazon.com and Createspace.com called "I have ADD and I'm Proud to Be Me." It is written from the CHILD's perspective so parents and children and talk TO EACH OTHER while reading the book together. If parents and kids can talk to EACH OTHER about this, you will make a better team to decide what the best courses of action are. It's under the name Wendy Kirkpatrick at these sites. I wish you and your child the best and please don't be intimidated by these snake oil salespeople who just want to make money at your child's expense. Best of luck.