Please help. (16 yr old student)

[ALTF4]

** I posted this here because since you are parents, I felt like you guys would be able to help me out with problem.

Hello! I am a junior in high school right now. I've always had trouble focusing on whatever anyone would say and can't understand direction until reading it slowly over and over again. I also daydream uncontrollably- sometimes to the extent of wasting 2-3 hours in one time doing so. In around 5thgrade, I would regularly sleep at around 12 am doing homework because I just could not focus. I would also keep bugging my friends to teach me what the teacher just taught because I could not focus on what the teacher was saying during his teaching. Then middle school came and the homework load doubled causing me to sleep on average at 1 am. The high school started along with volunteer and work and I began to sleep at 2-3 am. However, things have just spiraled out of my control this year. I am taking 6 AP classes right now along with 3 volunteer events per week along with work from 3-10 after school on Fridays. This is causing me to sleep at around 3-5 regularly- while waking up at 6:45. I really feel like I can't do this anymore. Homework is taking way too long to finish (I usually take much more time completing classwork that the rest of my classmates) and studying is just too hard because I always end up daydreaming- even when I have an exam the next day. My parents have always been academically strict so I have always maintained straight A's including this semester... so far. I just don't know how I am going to continue this with my terrible concentration and my inability to process information quickly. I wanted to let my parents know about my problems and to ask to find a psychologist who can tell me if I have ADD or ADHD or not but my parents don't really believe in ADHD. I've told my mother once but she told me that everything was just mentality and that I just need to have more willpower to get things done. But I know that that's not true. I'm struggling- not with the courses or even my schedule but that fact that I just don't have control over them. I wanted to get your input on what you think of my case. In your personal opinion, do you think I may have ADD or ADHD? Do/did you face similar problems as I have and still am? If you do see similarities between your case and mine, how do you think I should approach my parent to let me talk to a professional? I know this isn't in any way a diagnosis place but I wanted to get some input from first-hand people who have ADHD/ADD.

[H2grim]

First of all, you seem like an amazing kid! I commend you on your efforts thus far and if you've figured out how to keep straight A's with all this going on, you will figure out how to get to the Dr. If you can figure out a way to get to your Dr. Then maybe they can help convince your mother once you are there???

[TrueFocusNeuro]

Hi there,

I empathize with your situation, as I faced a lot of similar issues in high school. It's odd that your parents don't believe in ADHD, but honestly, a diagnosis isn't really required for you to begin mitigating the issues you've mentioned with regards to concentration and processing speed.

Because you are young, the brain is a proving ground of neural stem cells. You can rewire your thinking in dramatic, and fast ways. One of the ways you can do this is with training, also known as cognitive enhancement.

I'm an entrepreneur in this area. I supply specialized programs for students looking not only to increase their "mentality" but offering time-management and study habit strategies that to improve grades with the least time possible.

I was diagnosed with ADHD around your age, and struggled a lot. It was only once I was in my twenties that I discovered there is a route you can take to minimize the impact.

Willpower is important, and it seems to me that you have a lot of it. That's good. But having a strong will isn't always enough - evaluating the required resources for a task, as well as how important that task is, and scheduling time to complete it, are all important tools to have, as it won't get easier in University, indeed, it gets much more difficult.

First of all, if you need to reduce some volunteering, do it. Secondly, get more sleep. The average teen needs 8-10 hours of sleep. That deprivation is actually considered a carcinogen by the National Institutes of Health. You should also try to avoid a lot of TV or gaming at night, as the blue frequency of light emitted by your TV confuses the photo-sensitive receptors in your eyes into thinking its daytime. It's been known to cause depression and weight gain.

It would be better to get a full night's sleep and fail your test, quite honestly. In fact, studies have shown that students who cram all night actually perform *worse* than those who studied far less but who got a full night's sleep.

If you're looking for a means to convince your parents, put them in touch with me and I'd be happy to talk to them. What I do is perform a precise cognitive assessment, assign you training for the areas that need work (such as working memory), and supply you with tools to better organize your studies. I also teach specialized study techniques, such as those used by international memory champions. You won't find these techniques being applied in schools. Using them, my students reguarly achieve nineties in exams like biochemistry (a 60% fail rate course at my local University). For instance, my teen ADHD students start out and can't memorize a piece of text longer than a sentence. By the time they're done, they can memorize a deck of cards in 20 minutes or less. Or 50 digits of pi with perfect recall.

If you want some more info, please contact me or direct your parents to reach me at my facebook page:

facebook.com/TFneuro/

Good luck!

Ben

Founder

True Focus Neuro

[nina_online]

It is amazing that you have done so well with a possible focus problem! And kudos for finding this site and posting.

My first thought is to talk to your school counselor. I realize this is not earth-shattering advise, but s/he would be pretty familiar with ADHD (she deals with any needs of the ADHD students at your school) and perhaps could talk to your parents in a way that would get through to them. (Be sure to tell them how your parents feel, it will help them figure out an approach that will make your parents more comfortable and willing to be open to the possibility.)

Also, pediatricians can do a basic diagnosis of ADHD (that is actually the most common route, for uncomplicated cases). Would there be a way to see your doctor and bring it up with them? Like at your annual well-check, when they ask how school is going, “Well I really have a problem focusing and understanding and I daydream uncontrollably, sometimes for hours. I’ve actually had this issue ever since I can remember and I really wonder if I could have ADHD.” That’s all it would take. Even if a parent is there, if you could just blurt that out, that could change the course of your life (no kidding.) Because doctor’s _do_ know it is real (by the way, there are brain scans that clearly show that ADHD brains are different - I’m talking about brain scans done for research purposes). And I think it’s safe to say that they _would_ take it seriously. And even if it’s _not_ ADHD, it’s _something_, even if not a disorder, there is a cause.

If you don’t have a well-check coming up, can you get creative and come up with a general “don’t feel right, don’t know how to describe it” request to your parent for a doctor’s visit? I’m not one to encourage lying, but this is for a greater good.

I have written my thoughts and some information below, but really you don’t need to read beyond this:

1. I believe you when you say you are experiencing a very real difficulty and apparently have for a long time. You deserve much credit for working extra hard despite this difficulty.

2. My belief is that everyone deserves support in seeking help with a medical, etc, problem. I am sorry that your parents right now are not in the mindset of providing that support. I hope that a counselor or doctor can help you and them to address the issue.

3. I applaud you for taking action on your own anyway.

4. It could be sleep deprivation, stress, ADHD, or some other issue. But you deserve to have it addressed and for your suffering (it is, right?) to be decreased or hopefully eliminated.

___________________

Below are further thoughts and information. I’m no expert, this is just what I’ve gathered from personal research.

It’s always good to rule out non-medical causes such as:

1) sleep deprivation

It can worsen your cognitive abilities and concentration.

It sounds like you are saying that you often/typically get 2-4 hours of sleep a night? I hope that is not the case. That can be so unhealthful that it can be downright dangerous. Please do not drive if this is the case.

You said:

“I've _always_ had trouble focusing on whatever anyone would say and can't understand direction until reading it slowly over and over again. I also daydream uncontrollably- sometimes to the extent of wasting 2-3 hours in one time doing so.”

But when you say “Always,” do you really mean since you were quite young? And/or, at an earlier time in your life when you were getting a full nights sleep? Say, at least 9 hours? If so, I can understand your concern that it may be a disorder and I applaud you for taking steps to look into it.

2) Social/cultural/familial pressure

You are taking 6 AP classes, volunteering and working. Could that in and of itself be causing you to be stressed and overwhelmed? Even if you were getting full sleep, it’s hard to concentrate under pressure.

(By the way, could you at least dump the volunteering? You are under significant stress!)

You’ve said that your parents are academically strict and they don’t believe in ADHD and believe that academic success has to do with mentality and willpower. That’s a lot of stress on you. No leeway.

Also, you asked them once. Your concerns were dismissed. That adds to, not relieves, stress. And it was such that apparently you didn’t feel like you could ask them again.

I think you get my point. Significant sleep deprivation, significant pressure is a lot of stress and that messes with your mind’s ability to concentrate and understand (and remember - how is your memory?)

(Could the daydreaming be a way to escape pressures imposed on you? Just a thought.)

——

Moving on,

The thing about ADHD is that it involves deficits in executive functioning. Executive functions are the brain functions required to do things like perform complex tasks, plan, organize, remember the things you need to keep in your mind in order to perform a given task. So some ADHD kids have missing homework assignments (which they maybe can’t even remember being assigned), can’t plan long-term projects, don’t use a planner because they lost it, etc. If you are making such good grades in AP classes without your parents helping to manage you, that’s quite an accomplishment and points to having good executive functions - which would be good news. (However, perhaps you could have a mild form if ADHD?) if those issues do apply to you, that would be a clue towards ADHD. (Although you can have exec func deficits and not have ADHD).

You did emphasize that you daydreaming uncontrollably. (“...sometimes to the extent of wasting 2-3 hours in one time doing so...even when I have an exam the next day.”) Was that is the case when you were younger (and hopefully not sleep deprived) and perhaps not under the type of pressure you are now?

Some ADHD researchers who study sub-types of ADHD believe that some people who are diagnosed with ADHD really have something else, a newly (well not so new) discovered disorder of inattentiveness called SCT (Skuggish Cognitive Tempo, terrible name. One psychologist suggests it be called Concentration Deficit Disorder). It still involves deficits in executive functioning, but is characterized by inattentiveness, daydreaming, slow processing speed, which so far sounds familiar, right? But also “mental confusion, sluggish-lethargic behavior, and hypoactivity [lower than normal activity level]” I don’t know if that describes you at all. This is not an officially recognized disorder, but some psychiatrists may agree with this idea. If not, it would still be ADHD, it’s just perhaps not as obvious as some of the other flavors. But in case all/most of those descriptors _do_ apply to you, and especially if you do have difficulty with planning, organizing, complex tasks, etc, l thought I should mention this.

Finally, if you are able to get medical attention (and sleep deprivation and so forth are ruled out), if it appears that you have a significant issue but it’s not clearly plain vanilla ADHD that a regular doctor could diagnose, the gold standard would be neuropsychological testing (paper testing, not lab work). It tests for ADHD, learning disorders, mood disorders (such as depression or anxiety). Specific brain functions like processing speed are tested.

That’s a ton of information. I hope something in here is useful, and I wish you the best of luck.

[anirush]

Please talk to your school counselor and confide in them. They could contact your parents and talk to them. Being overwhelmed can lead to depression and you don't need more to deal with.