Depression

[Shanbabyg]

My 11 year old son Brady has never had an issue with aggression until he entered 5th grade. I feel as though his teachers don’t always understand him. Along with his ADHD he suffers from severe anxiety and some sensory issues. His psychologist assures me he isn’t Autistic (which I could understand better honestly). The older he gets he is showing signs of depression related to the passing of his grandmother 2 years ago. A few months ago he said he wanted to die and today after getting into trouble during science (he didn’t want to touch sand during a science experiment hence his sensory issue) and then being sent to the office he informed me he wanted to just go be in heaven with grandma. My heart is broken, I don’t know how to help him anymore than I already have. He has the best doctor in East Texas and we continuosly monitor his meds because I don’t want a zombie for a son. Any suggestions about this age group of young boys and their depression and aggression? Have any of you found a solution or anything to ease this? The picture I added is from today after about 4 hours of calming him down.

[anirush]

My 12 year old grandson started having the same problems. He has been on Focalin XR for the longest. But starting in middle school he got depressed and became very aggressive to the point of broken doors in our house and not caring about school. Doctor tried a mood stabilizer , then an antidepressant with worsening results. Finally told psychiatrist my husband and I can't live this way he started him on risperidone. Not crazy about putting him on such a strong medication but immediate difference, no aggression in days. Afraid to get too excited because things have a way of changing with long term use.

What does his doctor say about all of this?

[Shanbabyg in reply to anirush]

We are in contact with the dr today. Brady was on Focalin a few years ago and it caused horrible aggression in him, we had to take him off of it. Brady is on meds for anxiety and adhd then sleep aids at night. The principal is spending the day with him going from class to class (he is a very sweet man, friend of mine for years). I’m hoping we can get back into actually see his dr next week.

[anirush in reply to Shanbabyg]

Focalin caused aggression in my other grandson. We have him on Straterra. You just never know what is going to help or what will make things worse.

[ScatteredMom]

Honestly, I was pretty severely depressed at 11, too. Does he have any friends? Even one can make a big difference. Are other children cruel to him, or do they try to be understanding? Is there any way he can spend more time with children who can relate to him and share his interests?

[Shanbabyg in reply to ScatteredMom]

He has “friends”, because I am a teacher and all the kids have known me a long time, everyone is sweet to Brady. Brady however has no true friends. He only wants to play video games or read. No one is mean or cruel thank goodness aside from the random little jerk who is mean to everyone but I always put a stop to that quick. Brady chooses to sit alone at lunch unless he sits with my friends son that is in the 8th grade that the principal approved (Brady is only in 5th) the 8th grader is Autistic and he and Brady have a connection. Brady wants to have friends and often cries at home because he doesn’t understand why he doesn’t have any buddies. I am very real and honest with him and tell him that when he scowls and looks mad all of the time that no one is ever going to play with him.

I am glad to report he had a great day today and his principal is amazing.

[ScatteredMom in reply to Shanbabyg]

Maybe there is an activity at a nearby game store, comic book store, or even the library where your son can meet children who share his interests.

To be honest, I never really "clicked" with most of the kids in my school. At first they were pretty awful, but as I got older, they were generally civil, so that was fine with me. My real friends were outside the school, with people who liked the same things I did.

[Shanbabyg in reply to ScatteredMom]

Absolutely see that as a solution. We live in a very rural area so not a lot of opportunity to go to places like that but I do have a 16 year old son and they usually always include Brady when they are here. Brady communicates on a more mature level anyways so he is more likely to have conversations with my friends or his brothers than his own peers.