Rules and consequences seem pointless!

[Lacy_Mcc]

My 7 y.o. with ADHD/ODD (medicated with adderall) constantly breaks our rules! he receives explanations and consequences (loss of privileges, time out, early bed time, etc) but will turn around and do the exact same things, sometimes in the same day! I feel like parenting him is like running on a hamster wheel...we are getting no where! I have to watch him like you would a toddler because although I've told him 100x, I can't trust him not to do things like color on the walls, play in the street, etc. I'm so discouraged... how can I get through to him?

[Teresa12626]

I dont know how much help this is but I was told in one of the adhd classes I took kids with adhd maturity is like 3 years behind what there actual age is. So in some aspect they well act the way a kid that is like 3 years younger act.

[Lacy_Mcc in reply to Teresa12626]

That's interesting, thank you. also where did you find an adhd class? I haven't been able to find any classes or support groups in my area

[Teresa12626 in reply to Lacy_Mcc]

We have kaiser insurance and they offer classes through are insurance

[Intangible11]

My son has the same diagnosis and does the same stuff! If I don’t watch him every second he is getting into trouble and ruining things. He will wake up at 5am just so he can steal my phone, or food, or get into things he knows he shouldn’t be into. I feel your pain

[Lacy_Mcc in reply to Intangible11]

Mine does that too! wakes up super early and sneaks things. Sometimes by the time I wake up there is half a box of sugar cereal gone, milk all over the floor and he's jumping on the couch. Some days I'm afraid to go downstairs because I know know what I'm going to find

[Intangible11 in reply to Lacy_Mcc]

Right!!! What are we supposed to do? He goes to therapy, is on medication, and consequences and/or rewards don’t work. I’m at my wits end

[Mmagusin in reply to Lacy_Mcc]

There's evidence that carb/sugar craving goes along with the disorder. My son had been doing this for years, getting up at 5:30am to hunt for goodies. He'd even eat raw baking ingredients. He started to cook his own pancakes and let me say it wasn't pretty. Advice, Remove sugar from the house or hide it in your room. We let our son know we've stored candy for safe keeping and it's nowhere near the kitchen. Sugar is the devil for our kids. The more they have, the more they crave it. They're looking for that serotonin bump they're brain chem is lacking. To add insult, they aren't getting enough sleep either and that adds to behaviors.

[pwb78]

Parent Behavior Intervention training is great for us. Our son has significant inhibition control. Helps a lot. You can contact a child psychologist who specializes in ADHD to see if they know of any Parent Behavior Intervention classes.

[22789]

Consider parent education and training. You will learn how to parent with a child with ADHD. CHADD (non-profit), ImpactADHD and Attitude are great resources for parental support. Understanding that the ADHD brain is different was key for me.

[Hidden]

First of all I am not a Dr. but I was No formal therapeutical Foster parent for a number of years and I will personally say certain ADHD Medication I will never recommend but again Yeah that was a sign to me Was in the each group 12/17 years old And every child Child that was on adderall was always extremely challenging ,Never followed go by rules a lot of meltdown crying depression suicidal hallucinating and more and once I work with the doctor to get them off ,they will be such a different kids ,And would you believe that once they are off, they were total normal kids ,So for now I will advise you have to think let them Especially with things that they keep repeating around the house you have to come up with a plan for example I’m sorry but your house will be turning into a small jail Anything that you know that the Kids Get in to You must put it on lockdown you have to make a cabinet or pantry under lock and key’s medication cabinet under lock and keys Make sure the bathroom has key lock for the sugar craving one of the things that used to work with my kids I will give a spoon of honey At bedtime and in the morning that help with the sweet craving you have to remember they Mind work differently Anything that you mailed that would destroy an Area in your home you need to put it under lock and key because date do you think 3 years younger And also always make sure they are drinking a lot of water heaters Adderall causes a lot of dry Mouth

[Hidden]

First of all I am not a Dr. but I was No formal therapeutical Foster parent for a number of years and I will personally say certain ADHD Medication I will never recommend but again Yeah that was a sign to me Was in the each group 12/17 years old And every child Child that was on adderall was always extremely challenging ,Never followed go by rules a lot of meltdown crying depression suicidal hallucinating and more and once I work with the doctor to get them off ,they will be such a different kids ,And would you believe that once they are off, they were total normal kids ,So for now I will advise you have to think let them Especially with things that they keep repeating around the house you have to come up with a plan for example I’m sorry but your house will be turning into a small jail Anything that you know that the Kids Get in to You must put it on lockdown you have to make a cabinet or pantry under lock and key’s medication cabinet under lock and keys Make sure the bathroom has key lock for the sugar craving one of the things that used to work with my kids I will give a spoon of honey At bedtime and in the morning that help with the sweet craving you have to remember they Mind work differently Anything that you mailed that would destroy an Area in your home you need to put it under lock and key because date do you think 3 years younger And also always make sure they are drinking a lot of water heaters Adderall causes a lot of dry Mouth

[LuckyMonkey]

I am guessing we all have the exact same experience. My now 7 year old used to wake up early, climb up on our glass cooktop & steal chocolate chips, brown sugar, etc. from our baking supplies. He would then go back to bed & be amped up on sugar. This was when he was 2-3 yrs. old-he eventually broke the cooktop and this type of behavior has continued for years. My husband and I have deduced that the only way to quench this is to take turns getting up with him-which means sometimes being up at 5:30 on a Saturday. Not ideal, but better than the alternative. Getting up and going for a walk or a bike ride, or having a tickle fest in the living room are all options that allow him some physical release, and resets the start of the day. Limiting the sugars in the house is also a good idea, as well as leaving out things that he can grab on his own; bananas, applesauce, nuts, yogurt, etc. Until the connections in his brain are more developed, he will not be able to reason between impulse and action. The good news is there's no grand scheme to drive you crazy, it's just that there is no connection made between his actions and the consequence. We've found that there is no punishment that is successful, however positive reinforcement as well as laying out clear, easy choices has helped slightly.

[Lacy_Mcc in reply to LuckyMonkey]

thank you!

[anirush]

IF you are near a big city try NAMI (National Alliance of Mental Illness). They offer free classes and often have support groups, too.

[Hidden]

I know this posting is a little old but I'm new and wanted to share. I guess I have a little experience with being in the trenches with having two boys now 14 & 12 diagnosed at 6 & 4 with ADHD and I'm single. One with inattentive/anxiety and the other hyper w/ high functioning autism/ OCD/ ODD. Let me first say that I've always associated Adderall to be prescribed for 13 and older, from what I read this medication is given to teens to adult. For my two cents, it may be too much for him. Both of my boys at that age was impulsive as well, they did the same thing. Tell them not to do it, give them consequences , repeat yourself, then wham-o the next time doing the exact same thing. Lack of Impulse!!. They still have some impulse issues but no where near what it use to be. At your son's age, my oldest was on Focalin and Intuitive , the youngest was on Focalin and codeine. Both secondary medication is specific for impulse control. I will say the oldest is now on Adderall and quancfine,( the genetic version on Intuitive) the youngest is on the same thing but they take different dosage. The Impulse control medication when on the right dosage was between night and day. My sons max out Focalin, then max out Concerta and has just been prescribed Adderrall all worked well, they metabolize each meds quickly as they got older. And I saw decrease each time in there behaviors with the meds and do I have stories. Before I would characterize myself as running in circles, losing my mind. I thought it would never get better and it is getting better. Yes there's the still homework follow up and turning in assignment, for the oldest and some impulse control for the youngest. From what I see now, and having collected some wisdom it seems all about maturity . Don't get me wrong, my oldest prefer playing with children and the youngest prefers playing alone . I noticed my struggles is a constant transition, struggles about sleeping ( that was a 6yr ordeal) bed wetting and day wetting ( 6yrs), extreme lack of impulse control ( 6yrs) , Right now , I'm teaching responsibility and accountability. I sometimes remind myself that GOD doesn't put no more on you that

you can handle. I guess the frustrating part is that we want to see improvements now, not several years from now and unfortunately things moves at their pace and not ours.

It's like cooking a roast when you are hungry, you want it to be done right away, patience running thin, then all of sudden you are relieve. Hang in there, allow yourself breaks, thank goodness for family.