ADHD Parents Together
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Worried Mama

Hello All!

I have an 8 yr old son who is ADHD. We recently took him off meds (that were not too effective anyways) and he is doing somewhat ok at school. I am worried about him socially. I see how he is at birthday parties and how he interacts with others. I can see him unintentionally annoying or bothering the kiddos. I think part of it is his anxious mama. I would love any tips and words of encouragement!

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I have a couple of perspectives. I taught school for many years, and I tried to help the annoying children by gently intervening. It was an attention-getting action, usually, and the child would do anything for others' attention. I also have an ADHD child, and see that she has trouble in the friendship department. The only advice I have is to talk with him. I talk about things I see, as they're happening, in social situations. It does seem to help.

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Thank you for your thoughts, I see some similarities in our situations. I also work in education. I feel like I may also project my own insecurities onto my child! I will definitely keep talking to him and coach him as much as possible.

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You might! He is still young, so you're doing the right thing by wondering what he is doing that makes him have trouble. My child is 13, so I am trying to loosen the reins a bit! All of the worrying I have done so far has not changed a thing! ha I am a story-teller, so when I see things in public, I might comment (quietly) to my twins about something, good or bad.

For example, recently my other twin (not ADHD) and I were in a crowded waiting room, and there were two small children really misbehaving. They tore up magazines, even! While my daughter (at 13, she knows everything, you realize) was complaining about what was going on. I kept reminding her that it was none of our business. Maybe the mother was overwhelmed, and the kids had no limits in public, I suggested. These constant mini-lessons (I believe) create empathy and help them look at other's perspective.

Also, does he say anything to you? He may have more friends than you realize. If he does say something, ask him what he thinks he's doing wrong. He may know! If he doesn't, be sure and listen to his class stories. My girls' stories about the annoying kids gave me great opportunity to ask them if they told the child it was annoying.

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