Our son is 5 years old and such a smart and curious child. He is so mechanically inclined and is really good at figuring things out. He is also so VERY hyperactive and emotional. My husband and I just don't know what else to do anymore. Our patience has worn extremely thin.
We try to teach J how to cope with his extra energy and teach him strategies to use for when he feels like he has to get energy out or when he feels frustrated, angry, or sad, but it goes in one ear and out the other. He rarely listens to us. It's like he doesn't even hear us when we speak unless we yell at him, which we try really hard not to do, but sometimes our frustration with him is hard to hide. He's impulsive. He's loud. He talks incessantly. One minute he can be an independent young man and be able to do everything by himself and the next minute, he's acting like a baby and wants us to do every little thing for him, which we try not to do, but sometimes end up doing it just to get him to stop throwing a temper tantrum. And if we tell him no, he screams and cries and runs away yelling, "You hurt my feelings!"
We just don't know what else to do anymore. This isn't our first rodeo...we have a daughter who is 13. These two kids couldn't be any more opposite from each other. J's pediatrician diagnosed him with ADHD last year but hasn't mentioned medicine yet. I'm to the point where I'll do anything!!! to help J be a calm little boy and be able to communicate with him like a normal child. We're willing to try meds. We're willing to try behavioral therapy. Other than that, I don't know any other options. What do we do first? Does anyone have any advice?
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Mabey find him something that makes him feel as if he can do anything. For example you could help him learn how to build with Lego or how to play a game of something and those small successes will help him gain and interest which could calm him down.
Even if he ends up in medication,it might actually help as medication isn't all that bad.
I took a short course of dealing with anxiety just to help me talk to my son better. Don't get me wrong I find myself shouting still but some of the techniques have helped. Such as getting down to his level when I speak to him, speaking very softly so that he has to concentrate more to understand me and not getting into his space if he's about to explode. One thing that did interest me was that even when they are in an explosive moment or their internal space was to ask if they can hear the birds outside as this is the one noise that extinct has taught us and no matter how bad things are we can always focus on it. Then I'm able to speak to him. Find his niche so we focused on our sons obsessiveness with dinosaurs at that age and encouraged him to find out what ever he could about them and praised him for it all the time. I must admit the constant chatter wears me out but things do get better.
Have you spoken an educational psychologist? They may have some ideas. Speak to the school about possible referral. I've asked for our sons paediatrician to contact me via phone before so that I didn't have to wait for an appointment just to ask if there's anything they suggest.
CHADD offers a course called Parent to Parent it is great and I still use the book and my daughter is now 16. It helps you navigate dealing and assisting your child deal with ADHD
Look, I'm just starting this process myself but I have some suggestions. The fist thing to do is educate yourself about ADHD. One great book is "Taking Charge of ADHD" by Russel Barkley. Knowing more about the disability made it easier for me to sympathize with my child - yes, she really does forget to wash her hands even though I told her a million times. Also he gives some great strategies for interacting in a positive way. Trust me, I have Mommy meltdowns so I know it isn't easy. My daughter also has a lot of sensory issues going on with her ADHD, but it's not autism. I'm finding Elaine Aarons book on "The Highly Sensitive Child" to be helpful. Like I said I'm still trying to figure out if posted checklists, picture reminders and cue cards are the way to go, or what will help a kid who really doesn't have the executive functions to regulate her own emotions. Good luck and let us know what you try.
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