Ive never posted, or joined a group before, but I really need to share something quite specific in the hope that someone will be able to recognise the things I am going through.
Im English, and its my native language, but Ive lived abroad for the past few years, and in that time spoke nothing but Italian. I was in a relationship there, and very much in love, when it broke down because my partner had unresolved mental health issues. Unfortunately, some people in that part of the world are reticent to accept they may have any problems or flaws, and my partner totally shut me out, I imagine feeling I was a threat.
Anyway, after being totally shut out in a world where everything I knew, or saw was connected back to my ex partner I decided I should leave Italy, and the best solution seemed to be to come back to England.
Ive been back for over six months, and Im trying, with some difficulty to reorganise a life for myself here....but I keep seeing things, remembering things....just flashes....a broken piece of concrete on the street I used to walk to work....the corner of the deli counter at the supermarket were I used to wait......I have the cities in which we used to live etched in my mind.......and there is no english language associated with these images....sometimes I have audio hallucinations, and hear things in Italian....I dream in Italian, I still think to myself in Italian. I still keep in touch with a few friends from that time and we speak either Spanish or Italian..........and this is the crazy part........It feels like a past life, like in the movies...and I dont know why......so in summary....I have a massive amount of memories that are very painful and also feel like they come from another world, or from the distant past, in another life.....and I cant help feeling that a huge and fundamental part of me has died.......
How a Positive Mindset Versus Negative Mindset Impacts You
