Life's joys: Hello to all. I am 60 yr old... - Above & Beyond

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Life's joys

Junebug1
Junebug1

Hello to all. I am 60 yr old female, married, a mother, grandmother and sister. I have come to a crossroads in my life. I thought it was mild depression and I am on medication. But these feelings started a few years ago. I must say that I have always been very productive and in control of my life. Life changed in 2013. My father in law died and my husband started his spiral with alcohol. Our marriage changed. We became like roommates. He works away from home for 14 days each month. Then in 2014 my stepmom died. My father became depressed and that caused illnesses. I cared for Dad for 2 years until he died. 2 other close friends passed in 2017 and my cat Holly died in 2018, she was my companion for 15 years. I know I am depressed but I can function as far as everyday chores. I still help my daughter and grandkids when I am needed and to most people I seem capable. But emotionally I feel Dead except I can feel Anger. I don't feel joy or happiness. I spend Hours remembering my past. I had an amazing childhood filled with love and happiness. My adult life was complicated at times but I Loved life. Now I feel as though I am just going through the motions of living until the end of life.

3 Replies
oldestnewest

Wow .. in parts I can really empathise! I’ve just read a book called the runaway wife .. nothing to do with anxiety or depression but quite apt for us ladies of a certain age 😉 made me think.

I do know anger is not a good thing to carry about tho ( first hand experience)

The only person you’re harming is yourself.. we have to try , let it go and move on ..

what I try to do even when I’m very low is look at nature, the trees the sea , nice flowers , animals listen to the birds ..

it’s usually people and their actions that unsettle us .. so breathe in , look at the sky , the sun the moon isn’t it amazing.. sod everything else that makes you angry or sad or question yourself.. your amazing and deserves as much as anyone to be happy. I hope you can find it..

Ive lost a dog that was in my life for 14 years and it was painful i have lost many people in my family and it hurt so much and i am going through pain as well but what i try to do it go on trips maybe book a little trip with your husband and get out the house for a bit but you should never look at the bad things that have happened in the past you should look at the positive things that made you happy how your cat and your friends and your mother and father made you happy because i know they wouldn’t want you to be sad or not feel joy or not be happy. They want you to be happy

Hidden
Hidden

Hello Junebug1, you have had so many losses in such a short space of time alongside caring for those you love following bereavement. It is understandable that you feel 'dead' and you are asking yourself massive questions about where you go from here. I too am asking these questions (my partner passed away almost 4 years ago). It is ok to take time to rest and ask for help, if we feel that is what we need, while we discover the path we are going to follow.

I suggest that you take one day at a time and try to be kind to yourself. If you feel you need to talk about how you are feeling then please talk to your GP.

I wish you well Junebug1, give yourself time. You will move forwards when you are ready.

Take care, Lottie

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