Above & Beyond

Is there something wrong with me (mentally)?

Hi everyone, this is my first time posting on this site so sorry if this is straightforward and weird. I'm currently in my sophomore year of high school, and for the past year and a half I've been noticing I'm becoming less and less motivated to try hard in school, and my attitude and behavior has been changing for the worse. I was diagnosed with ADD in 7th grade, but I managed to cope with it and get mostly A's throughout 7th and 8th grade (with medication). However, especially this year, my grades have been dropping and even with a coach I meet with twice a week to help me in staying motivated and prepared for all assignments, tests, etc. I feel like I'm wasting my parents money. Sometimes I find myself lying to the coach and telling her that I'm following our plan when in reality I'm just procrastinating on electronics or something else. My mother notices, and I can clearly tell she's disappointing in me. And she has every reason to be. But even with that knowledge and wanting to improve my school life, I continue to stay with these bad habits. I also feel like I'm way behind others in my grade in regards to maturity, and responsibility, and grades. Is there a reason for this or am I just overly paranoid?

3 Replies

Hello mintc

Welcome to the Above & Beyond community. Everyone here understands depression and anxiety or is suffering from it themselves. Either way, we are all here to help each other get through the tough times in our precious lives.

It really is amazing of you to reach out to an online forum (see the internet isn’t always a bad place!) but it’s even more impressive that you are recognising your procrastination and distraction. A majority of students will not care about wasting their parents money or failing in school, or even care they won’t pass their exams in the short term. It is really great to see that you care for your parents who are helping you through education and also helping with extra tuition.

I think a really great step would be to talk to your mother about this. If you think she is disappointed, tell her how you feel. It could go two ways... either “you could never disappoint me” or “yes I am disappointed but now is the time to work through this together and get you back on the right track”. Go into it with a positive mentality so that if she does think you should be studying harder and putting the electronics down, she will be able to see you want to be better at concentrating at your studies.

What is important to remember with maturity is that is not based on age, but experience. I have friends in their 30’s who I would consider “immature”, and family members in their teens who I consider far more “grown up”!

Recognising your distractions and acting on them shows maturity, and I am very impressed that you know you need to step back from the situation, reassess and take control.

A tip from me would be to write a list week-by-week. Start with the next 7 days. Start with the week day and underneath write two realistic things you’d like to achieve.

“Monday - turn my phone off, leave it in a drawer for one hour whilst I study”

Small steps make big steps easier. By Friday you may be able to put all electronics away for 5 hours, who knows?!

The other tip I would give to you mintc is that you must be honest with your mother. Tell her you appreciate all of the help she gives you. Perhaps it’s time to see your doctor again and see if you still have the ADD? They may assess you and see if there is anything they can give to you to help with focusing. I use an app called Mindfulness which helps me focus. Five to ten minutes every morning of meditation before I come onto this forum and see who I can help.

I hope this all makes sense to you mintc, and never ever for one moment think that there is something wrong with you. You are a wonderful human being and I look forward to hearing your progress.

Warm wishes

Mr.Help x


Hello mintc and welcome to our Community.

I am sorry to hear that you are struggling wlth motivation and you feel your attitude and behaviour is getting worse.

Please try to talk honestly to your coach about how you feel and the difficulties you are having. It sounds like you are bright and quite self aware. She is there to help and support you but can only do so if you talk honestly with her.

Are you able to talk to your mum? I am sure your mum will want to do all that she can to help and support you. It may be worth going back to the Doctors to check your medication is working effectively.

I hope this helps mintc. Please let me know how you get on, we are always here to support you, take care,



Hello mintc

I'm how sure how old you are but you must be in your teens, so our 'Young Adult-Stress Support Forum' will be better for you, join us there.



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