I just don't know...

[_hunter_]

I'm 17 years old and currently doing my A-level. I have never been diagnosed with depression or anything, but then I have never really spoken to anyone about it, except for my best and only friend who has been a great help but there is little she can do. I almost always feel very sad/depressed and down on life, I am struggling to cope with life and have been feeling this way for a little over a year now. I have lost motivation for doing many of the things that I used to love such as reading. I am always tired and often feel ill without being ill, if that makes any sense. I am irritable and become stressed when around large groups of people, so I try to avoid socialising at all costs which is why I now only have one true friend. I find it very hard to trust people due my past experiences where by I ended up being very isolated for some of my time at secondary school. I went through a couple of years where I hated being at school and I hated being at home due to having to listen to my mum and sister arguing most of the time. I feel like that could be the route of my current problems it just took time for it to really hit me, once I was away from it all. I have thought extensively about suicide and about dying in general, and while I could never commit suicide because of my family, just dying doesn't seem like such a bad thing. I do self harm which is something that I hate very much but it gives me control and makes it better. I just don't know what to do about this because if anyone finds out, everything that I have worked for and dreamed of since I was twelve could just disappear. It is so hard to put everything into words, to describe how I feel. I don't feel like there's is anyone I can talk to not even my family.

[TheLastOne]

Doing your A levels, any exam can be truly stressful. have you thought about speaking to your doctor about how you are feeling? He/she may be able to put you in touch with a counsellor or talk to your school about how you are feeling, many schools are much more switched on about life and school. They may be able to give you strategies to help you work through this. Don't suffer alone, there are those who will help not tell you.