your response to criticism ...

[lojeen]

how do you respond to people who are constantly trying to put you down ?? please share your experiences .... thanks in advance....

[eeek1110]

I think about the reasons why they are doing it and it's normally because it make them feel good. How sad is that? It does hurt especially when you love, like or care about the person but you aren't going to change them. Just take control of your feelings and move on. Chocolate does not help!

[lojeen in reply to eeek1110]

thanks dear... but its not always easy to control how you feel...

[HRHGaby]

If they don't know me enough, I ignore their comments. If it's from someone who I consider friends or family I feel hurt, but I know understand most of the times people are trying to put the focus on you so that nobody will focus on them. It's self-defence. I'm confident enough not to do it,

[lojeen in reply to HRHGaby]

exactly i agree... give me some tips to like myself please

[fibronfedup]

I think people think that constructive critisum helps all the time, and even if they are trying to be helpful sometimes if like me you have a low self image it can hurt, but i try to look at what is said logically and take from it what i will. If its just people trying to be mean then it hurts but i try to ignore the people that dont matter and talk to the ones that do. Also love yourself tell yourself daily what you like or have a mantra, when you love yourself others opinions dont bother you as much

[Hidden]

Hi Lojeen

Yes, I find that difficult too. I'm my experience I find it useful to think and write down to myself the reasons why I am doing it. Because now I strongly believe that this is extremely important for me, I have the confidence to reply assertively to these comments

I say things like, I am just so happy and proud of my achievements that I am going to stick to it. Or, I see what you meAn, in my case I find that going thought this weight loss plan is hard but I am very satisfied and super happy with what I am achieving.

Once people understand how assertive you are and that it is actually making a difference to your levels of happiness, they will stop

just think that they probably mean well or maybe they are struggling with weight issues as well and they can be feeling bad about themselves. So turn it into a positive thing, chin up and reply with a smile, it is your life and your happiness

[lojeen in reply to Hidden]

thanks so much.... you are such a lovely person to have said all this ,,..certainly made my day...

[Hidden in reply to lojeen]

Awwww thank you!!!!!! You made mine Positive energy all around and focussing on that

We are doing it! We rock

[Jenever]

Spiteful, nasty people usually having something lacking in their lives or something wrong with their personality (or POISONality!), they're also usually bullies. Personally I have got quite tough over the years and life has taught me to be quite assertive but I understand how hurtful it can be when somebody goes out of their way to say or do something nasty. My only advice would be to believe in yourself and your ability and your worth and look at the people who treat you this way with pity, they are very sad individuals.

[Mello17]

Sometimes they say things because they don't know any better or because they care enough to goad you into action. Mind you my doc was so rude it had the opposite effect and I put on a stone!

I'm so darned pleased with myself for deciding to do this and exercise, I don't give a hoot what anyone thinks now, for the first time in my life I think I have the right mindset.

[Hidden]

People who need to put you down is because they feel bad about themselves. But still, you don't need to put up with it. I've got two tactics:

1, The one that I apply the most. Just don't be with these people, why would you want to spend time with them when there are so many nice people in the world? Sometimes you may feel that they are "good people" and that they can't help it, or that you have to learn how to handle these people. But why do you need to handle them? It's like trying to get used to surviving under the sun of the dessert. It's much nicer just to live in paradise so, turn away from these people and go live near nice people.

2. Reply to them. I don't do it because I tend not to like confrontation, but just reply, not focussing on yourself (not defending yourself from the attack, you don't need to justify yourself!) but just saying what you think, that they seem that they have a problema, or asking if they are jealous, or just telling them that they are idiots. Whatever fits But always calm. And you just need to say it once. Then you can move to Paradise, feeling proud about yourself

Good luck!