Pain in left side causing extreme depression?

[SwankyFrankie]

TLDR: Has anyone else had any conditions that caused extreme pain in the left side, related to diet, that also caused bouts of deep depression and anxiety? I'm at the point where I can tell how low my mood will be by my pain level after eating, and vice versa. Help!

Hi all. I'm new. I'm 35 (36 next week, ugh) and was diagnosed with pcos twenty years ago. I've tried a few times to manage my symptoms but due to lack of results i just stopped paying attention after about 5 years and convinced myself I didn't care. Last year, after years of therapy and many other things, I decided it was time to try again, specifically so that I could try to get pregnant. I managed my diet, started some light exercise, and saw a specialist. I was doing great, lost 10 lbs in about two months (which is huge since I've been the exact same weight since I was 11), but circumstances changed and I fell off the wagon. Almost immediately my health made a turn for the worse. My depression and anxiety skyrocketed, I started gaining weight, having Sacroilliac and knee pain, and what was a infrequent and barely bothersome pain in my side became a major pain in my you-know-what. With in a few months I was fired for not keeping to my schedule and had a two week boot of extreme pain and nausea that I almost went to the hospital for. I don't go to the hospital. For anything. But this has me pretty worried.

The pain in my left side seems to be causing or effecting my depression and anxiety. The pain is right where my spleen is, a constant low ache, and after I eat I often get major attacks that include extreme pain and cramping and/or extreme fatigue. When I get the extreme pain my depression and anxiety skyrocket!

Honestly, I can deal with the pain, even at its worst, and how it is limiting my mobility, but when I have a bad attack of pain I become really depressed, anxious, hopeless, and nearly suicidal. My mind is just a never ending cycle of "man, living like this (all of my life, not just this pain) is really terrible and I hate it" followed by "nothing is ever going to change" and "if my life stays like this I know I'll become suicidal I just don't know when". I feel like what ever is causing the pain is causing the depression and not the other way around.

Some days I'll wake up with no or little pain and have these thoughts, and every time, as soon as I eat I get really bad pain. Other times I'm fine all day but after eating dinner I'll start to get really bad pain and soon after the depression hits. Certain foods cause more pain than others, generally, but some days it doesn't matter what I eat, I'm going to be in pain. On those days I have the worst depression, and anxiety about that depression. I first started getting slight pain when I would stand too soon after eating certain foods, but it would go away quickly with sitting rest. That was 3.5 years ago and now my pain is pretty constant and I have a slew of other symptoms.

I've been trying to work with my Dr to figure this out but all my blood work, two cat scans, and an ultrasound all came back normal. I definitely don't have Fatty liver, I don't seem to have pancreatitis, no metabolic disorders, all blood counts are normal. I am waiting on new tests for my a1c (after certain foods I get less pain but become extremely tired and have to lay down if not sleep for several hours), Hormone levels (all my pcos specific symptoms have stayed the same), vitamin levels and thyroid function, just to be sure. All of that was normal in September and/or January, but I'm checking again.

The only clear connection I can see is that it is made worse by eating and it causes extreme anxiety and depression.

I do have long term issues with depression and anxiety, so I don't think figuring this out will just solve all my problems, but I've never been anything close to suicidal and it often just feels like an eventuality these days. It's quite disturbing. I'm still clinging to the hope that I'll be able to improve my health, stabilize my career, and start a family, but as is I can't even get myself to look for a job. My Dr finally admitted defeat and referred me to a specialist but I haven't been yet. Every possibility I've found on my own I've gotten tests for and everything came back normal.

The connection with depression is the most immediate problem. My overall mood has finally gone back up but when I eat I'm often too depressed to do anything more for the day. Add in the constant pain and I am not able to do much to better my situation or health, but I'm still trying. I can't find anything that causes pain in that spot that also causes immediate bouts of depression or anxiety. Any insights would be amazing.

TIA!