I read something on the internet yesterday about Edwina Currie not believing that there are people today in the UK going hungry – at the moment I’m feeling quite peckish, it’s just as the weather gets cooler one has to economize, well I have been economizing in this way ever since my last employment contract ended, lunch is an indulgence for me, so I’m used to missing meals, come to think of it I only have breakfast (cereal) if I’m going somewhere and need the extra calories. So, t the moment my main concern is money, I have other worries but I’ll move on to them later. Maybe it would be easier to list my worries.
1. My WCA (work capability assessment) the weekend before last I was summoned by ATOS to have my WCA, I haven’t yet heard anything from them, not even a cheque for re-claimed bus fares (that’s £6.80, 2 x £3.40 daysavers) that I could do with, as I have some travelling to do – that’s bus /train journeys within the West Midlands nothing glamorous, no trips to Thailand for me, just The Barberry and the dentist. I have no idea what the outcome of the WCA will be, the doctor was pretty cagey and said that I would find out in due course and as anybody knows this is a cue for the ticcy, OCD brain to go into overdrive and worry about the outcome. What if we have to go back onto JSA? What if I have to do a work placement for 6 months for 37 hours per week? What if due to ‘im indoors we end up with a sanction? (Losing JSA for up to 13 weeks) what if, what if, what if???
2. The rent. Due to a certain person wanting to pay off his drink driving fine in one lump sum, the gas bill and the electric bill we are behind with the rent, we have already received 3 letters reminding us of that frightening fact, however this is the type of thing that the emergency social fund won’t give you a loan for (contrary to widespread belief getting a loan from the social fund at your local Jobcentre is like getting blood out of a stone, also they get taken from your JSA (job seekers allowance) or ESA (employment and support allowance) payments thus creating a “robbing peter to pay Paul” situation. So, what we’ve been doing is paying everything, apart from about £30 per week (for food) that we have, ESA payments, housing benefit, DLA, pennies found on pavement. Bearing in mind that housing benefit alone doesn’t cover the rent (contrary again to popular belief perpetuated by The Daily Mail etc), someday soon I’m going to receive a call from my Dad enquiring about the £x money that he needs that has been extracted from his bank account by our letting agents – the call will be initiated by my Dad, my mother will do all the talking, there will be steam coming out of his ears, he’ll be to angry to speak. At the moment we can’t afford to move, housing benefit can’t pay deposits, retainers or any of the other fees that private landlords and their agents like to extract out of those who can’t afford to buy their own place, so by Christmas if we’re lucky we’ll have a place in a hostel or temporary B&B. This again could be just my ticcy brain going into overdrive.
3. The bills. Yep, still getting over the last lot and more arrive, maybe I could spread peanut butter on them and treat myself to some lunch and deny any knowledge of them. That’s a stupid plan – prostitution would probably the best option. (That’s probably not going to happen – I’d need to raise the bus fare to get down to the red-light district).
4. Ostriches who bury the head in the ground. Ostriches who also turn on the heating when I’m not looking and insist on spending £10 per week on meat, what’s wrong with lentils?
On the plus side of things I have got an appointment to have an assessment with a guy from IAPT (Improving Access to Psychological Treatments) on Friday so at least something is moving in terms of my mental health care, so I’ll keep you posted about that. As a result of this worry my tics have become a bit worse, or it could be the natural waxing and waning nature of TS, so there’s been quite a lot of shouting going on.