We haven’t had Lili very long and he’s gone AWOL, he was let out on Thursday morning and hasn’t been seen since. Cats are great companions for us ticcers, if you’re feeling down they come and look after you and give you a cuddle but cats are very independent, particularly un-neutered males like Lili. Friends have tried to reassure me that he’ll be back but of course this plays havoc with OCD, I worry and scenarios play out in my mind. What if he’s been run over, what if he’s lying injured somewhere and can’t move, what if? What if?.....
We’ve done what any cat owner would do, we’ve called the RSPCA and the local vets, we’ve left posters and flyers in the village shops and community centre, we’ve knocked on neighbour’s doors, we’ve put flyers through letter boxes and as time goes by the worry increases. Knocking on the doors of neighbours I don’t know has been difficult, for me my coprolalia is a difficult beast to control but luckily people have been understanding and haven’t taken offence and in the main have been supportive and helpful, but nobody’s seen him.
This worry had affected my sleep and my tics, which have become worse, my sleep has become broken and I had quite a weird disturbing dream last night. I dreamt I was with Noel Fielding talking with him while he was painting at what seemed to be his parent’s house, there he was happily painting away, “This us going camping, here’s our tent, mum, dad and my brother Naboo, he’s only 6 six here and he’s got his teddy and his Action Man.” He’s happily painting away whilst talking and singing like Rolf Harris, I start bleeding, I don’t know where it’s coming from, it’s everywhere, all over the Fielding sofa and carpet, “My mum’s gonna go off her head!” I go upstairs and have a bath; the bath fills up with blood, soon the suburban South London house looks like a murder scene. Noel tries to clean up the mess with a mop with very little success.
I have had dreams involving blood before; they are quite disturbing, particularly when it’s your own blood. I do find dream interpretation fascinating and the links between your waking life and your dreams, I expect also that the meds that I am on have some effect on my dreams also. My endometriosis has been VERY painful over the last few days and my legs are covered with bruises and I don’t remember how this has happened. This is a side effect of the Flupentixol as it can do things to your blood thus making you prone to bruising I should talk to my GP or my CPN about it but I’ll have to wait until Monday and I hate to been seen as a winging hypochondriac.
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Luckily he's quite distictive. I have posted his pic on the local cat groups on FB.
