I’m losing it! Some might say that I lost it ages ago, in fact I’m actually amazed that I’m still alive considering how this little problemo effects me….here are some examples.
Example 1 – Doing the Dinnertime Meds.
This is an inner monologue with myself after eating my dinner. “Did I take my meds? I don’t know. Check packet. I don’t know” I take meds. A few minutes later. “Did I take my meds? I don’t know. Check packet. I don’t know.” I take meds. “OMG have I taken 2 lots? I don’t know” What’s the worst that can happen if you take an extra 75mg of Vennlaflaxine and 200mg of Carbamazapine?
Example 2 – Going to the Village Shop
I pick up a basket (I always do this) now here’s the inner monologue bit. “Shop….S**t” I look at shopkeeper, “perhaps I’ve been sent here to buy something…probably” I walk around looking at the items on the shelves to try and remember what I might need to buy “I really don’t know” so I ask the shopkeeper.
Me – “This is a bit embarrassing, I really can’t remember what I need to get, any ideas?
Sudhu – “Milk? Bread? Cat food?”
Me – “Thanks, I think I remember now” Bread, milk, basmati rice and a bar of chocolate for my efforts. Job done, now all I have to do is remember where I live. Sudhu seems to have an amazing knack of remembering what people buy, but then again when I was a bar maid I could remember what most of the regulars drank.
Example 3 – Confused at New St Station.
I need to get back to Coventry, I check the board that lists all the departures coming up and notice that the next train back to Coventry leaves from platform 3, I make my way to the gates where the staff check your tickets. Suddenly my mind is blank, I can’t remember which platform I need to go to, instead of going back to check again and risk looking like a prat I wander up and down the concourse until I find the right platform.
Example 4 – Two Hungry Ticcers looking for some food.
Two hungry ticcers with empty bellies and a Pizza Express voucher wandering around the Bull Ring shopping centre in Birmingham. For those who have never been there it’s a very strange shape, I can’t figure it out, all I can figure out is that Debenhams is on all the floors and is at the end where New St station is and Selfridges again covers all the floors and is at the other end and has weird metallic discs allover the exterior. So I’ll refer to them as Big Ticcer (most people are taller than me so it makes sense) and me, Little Ticcer. We approach a security guard to help us.
Big Ticcer – “Could you tell us where Pizza Express is please?”
Security Guard – “jhb osuow;inbwoiuovwqtunvq’uivn”
I look puzzled…
Security Guard – “yjhbjw bohjn wijyhimbwuhwemj”
I still look puzzled as when people give me directions it doesn’t make sense.
Security Guard – “giwhovnieogwvuomwqguwt” (with arm movements pointing in the general direction of where I should be going) To not waste any more of his time and not look any more stupid than I feel we leave the security guard and try to remember what he said.
Big Ticcer – “Do you remember anything he said?”
Little Ticcer – “Nope, sorry, directions seem to white noise, do you know where we’re going?”
Big Ticcer – “No.”
However, I do have a good memory for remembering useless stuff, cartoons and adverts from my childhood, all sorts of trivial pointless stuff that is only good for pub quizzes. (If only I didn’t shout out the answers) I do however remember this; I remember it from the days of sitting in my room listening to John Peel or Annie Nightingale when I knew that the rest of my family had had their fill of my tics. Please listen, it’s very apt and it will make you smile.