Advice n support needed

[Yam42]

Hi I'm new to this group, suffered 15+ years now n managed quite well up until 12 weeks ago where I stupidly went to my Christmas party. Music was loud n I took breaks even wore ear plugs, stayed hour n half n regretted it since as was first time in 7 years I went to a party. I self blame n it being so loud has put me in an anxiety n depressed state, break down a lot, been off work, staying with parents as don't want to be alone either. I'm so fearful of this new level I really need best advice on what helped you guys n as I'm scared. Please give me advice, tips n comfort.Thanks

[doglover1973]

Hello Yam42 Welcome. Please don't blame yourself. It sounds as if you took sensible precautions at the party. It's upsetting when T gets louder because you have to adjust to it all over again. I remember when it happened to me. I was afraid too. Try to stay as calm as possible. Do breathing exercises and listen to soft sounds. Talk to family, friends and the forum. Things will get better .

[Yam42 in reply to doglover1973]

I think I may be making it worse with my anxiety being so high but I can't seem to calm down. I have it in both ears and before this party I was coping well. Sounds to sleep to but it's the day I struggle with so I panic n cry a lot. People say its all about acceptance n it will get better, I pray once again it will subside in time but I just need it to be now I guess

[doglover1973 in reply to Yam42]

This is the problem. T causes anxiety and in turn anxiety fuels T. It's a vicious circle. So the first thing to do is to address the anxiety. I didn't believe that sounds and relaxation could be so helpful but they are. I still use them now. Give them a try - if you can. You're on high alert at the moment. Natural sounds or soft music and breathing exercises will help you to relax.

[Yam42 in reply to doglover1973]

I'll give anything a go, I'm on high alert with everything too. Always waiting for loud noises

[Suz_2]

hi Yam42 - what were yr coping methods before this rise ? sound therapy ? or did u not need to use anything. My T changed in sound and volume 8 weeks ago after a noise incident - such much more difficult. I think the brain needs to get used to the new sound ,new level then after a while will hopefully start to zone it out again - its still early days . Medication from GP may possibly help in this transition stage - anti anxiety, anti deps. I havent taken these yet but may need to as my anxiety is now much higher than last year.

[Yam42 in reply to Suz_2]

I listened to rain apps at night but now it's intrusive in the day n I can't concentrate then break down, vicious cycle. I wish I wasn't so anxious as probably not helping it at all no.

[Suz_2]

this is just like me - i was coping last year, even though it was a buzzing sound and i could divert from it - but now its impossible to divert and my anxiety is through the roof - i can also sort of feel the vibration in head as well, which is really weird - I shall speak to GP about this , but doubtful they will do anything as they dont seem to understand T which is rare, or outside the norm.

I would recommend that you do CBT at present time as this can calm the nervous system for a while and reduce the anxiety feeding into the T. The OTO app is good for CBT for tinnitus (£20 per month) full of practical exercises ( and small chunks of theory - CBT exercises can also be found on youtube andlike DL said , breathing exercises can actually reduce anxiety

[Martymacfly in reply to Suz_2]

Good advice, Suz. Thought I'd 'stick my oar in' as you're the first person I've heard mention a kind of vibration. I have this too and it makes me feel like I have a mild headache nearly all the time.

[Suz_2 in reply to Martymacfly]

yes - been like this over past 5 weeks since theT got worse - this really scares me

[Martymacfly in reply to Suz_2]

Try and accept it, no matter how bad it gets. I try and think of all those people who have something far worse. I suppose it's the 'half glass full....' approach.

[Suz_2 in reply to Martymacfly]

so u can actually feel some sort of vibration in head ( not a vibrating noise as such)

[Martymacfly in reply to Suz_2]

Yes. It feels like a have a constant generator whilst also having a constant high pitched noise.

[Suz_2 in reply to Martymacfly]

and how loud is yr T - can u hear it all the time or can you distract from it during day - or a mixture of these 2 i expect

[Martymacfly in reply to Suz_2]

Unfortunately it's so loud I can hear it watching television/reading/in conversation etc . Funnily enough it's probably least noticeable when I am gardening e.g. concentrating a little but not too much

[777john in reply to Martymacfly]

I too have a vibrating and pounding noise especially when i have any type of virus which i have at the moment thankfully when i am well it it goes back to the normal noises even though they can change at any time.

[Yam42]

There's a waiting list for cbt here, it's mad. I just want to cope again

[Suz_2 in reply to Yam42]

Yes it could be quite a wait to see NHS Psychologist - possible to see private psychologist much quicker ( I saw private psych for a few sessions last summer , but this was about a different issue and not the T.) Thing is we can easily find the CBT online or on the OTO - which is probably easier than going to appointments

[bournville in reply to Suz_2]

What about the Debbie Featherstone online CBT for tinnitus any good?

[mrsnosleep in reply to bournville]

Yes, the Debbie Featherstone online CBT is really good, it helped me enormously - lots of good relaxation exercises and lots of information about what tinnitus actually is and ways to train yourself to dial down the worry and anxiety about it

[Suz_2 in reply to bournville]

I have just started this, and am on week 2 - yes this is good. (There is some reading of theory of psychology and stuff which be skimmed over if lacking time) - but the main CBT exercises are easy to implement each day

[Yam42 in reply to Suz_2]

This online cbt, is it through nhs? I need something

[Suz_2 in reply to Yam42]

this is online - tinnituseprogram.org/

[Yam42 in reply to Suz_2]

I'm afraid I don't have the money to spare for this, has anyone else felt so low they're scared n feel a burden on close ones? I mean is this normal as it's new to me. It's blasting in my head

[surviveT in reply to Yam42]

like mentioned above , you can instantly find CBT breathing and relaxation exercises on youtube - give it a try , these really can reduce yr anxiety

[Yam42 in reply to surviveT]

Thanks I'll look into it on you tube

[Suz_2]

I feel the same as you for making a noise incident mistake - but at the time we thought we would be ok - dont be too harsh on yourself - we all make mistakes with the T - the reason i have severe T is probably because of my mistakes - lifes like this , we cannot avoid making mistakes sometimes

Yes NHS would take time to see someone - We just have to do the CBT ourselves - the OTO app is good - also on youtube there are lots of exercise - start with the breathing as it really can calm yr system and anxiety

google.com/search?q=cbt+bre...

[Yam42 in reply to Suz_2]

I have fallen into a cycle of crying n feeling hopeless with this, I'm so tired. I'm back in work next week n guess it's a good thing really ye. Try keep busy like, you have in both ears too? People say it's hard to say what's severe but it's over the tv

[Suz_2 in reply to Yam42]

yes i have it in both ears - was quite severe last year and this year is worse - reactive to noise and i have the sound sensitivity Hyperacusis . Mine is a rare type not really the normal T

Do u hear yr T all the time - does it fade in daytime when u are busy?

[Yam42 in reply to Suz_2]

It has done if I'm really busy or with someone who hasn't stopped talking, does it for you?

[Veecat]

Strength to you Yam42 - have read the posts in response ‘n your replies. The ideas posted may help you I hope, best wishes VeeCat x

[Yam42 in reply to Veecat]

Thank you, I feel I'm being a nuisance to all I speak to as I'm extremely low but I've never been like this so I am desperate. I know it starts with me and I do try n relax but same time can't stop the focus on ears. Never felt so scared

[Veecat]

Sure - I wonder if it’d b helpful to chat to someone from Tinnitus UK - (?) think that’s the new name (but unsure-used to be the British Tinnitus Association. A worker from there posts on this Forum (they may already be in touch with you…) I may have missed any responses they may have made already, yet I encourage you to consider reaching out to them at what seems like a mega challenging time for you. All the best - VeeCat.

[TinnitusUKPat Partner]

The helpline number is 0800 018 0527, and it's available from 9am to 5pm on weekdays if you want to talk to someone.😀