I did not order sleet, it was supposed to snow - yet more mutterings regarding LDN and hypothyroidism

Last week, ended on a low note, I caught a cold, i don't do colds like other people. I sneeze very very violently up to three times a minute and this can go on for two whole days, including right through the night - at this point my joints and skin inflame, and I pull all my muscles. However I was reminding myself at the height of this latest nasal blasting session - as I blew the other inhabitants of the house as far away from me as they could travel, whilst still inside the house. (Two with migraines, not able to stand the noise I make) - that not that long ago, this happened a great deal more frequently, In fact in the latter stages before visiting the right doctor, this came on once a week or more, down to allergy. Since seeing Dr BDP and sorting adrenals and some thyroid problem out, with various supplementation, combined with going gluten free. These days, this sneezing and spells in bed are down to a cold and not allergy. The joys of having five autoimmune naughties.. and the fuss they entail can at times turn into an epic and boring saga.

However things have been a tad hairy to say the least. I have been trying to juggle the teaching of the children when they are too ill for school, and sometimes they are too tired to do it, but they still do it all anyway. Also trying to keep on top of various family necessities, work and commitments AND also something foul and boring which of course nobody has heard of ever, called housework.

I started to envisage how the whole house would look as a pile of rubble, but had to settle for a bit here and there being done. My fatigue gets the better of me. Everybody hates it when I start cleaning anyhow, I get very bad tempered and it upsets the cats. A friend who came to stay during my last epic furniture moving fuss with dyson, soothed me by telling me a long story about her dearly departed moggy who had loved being hoovered and used to lie down and wait for her to do it.. I do find hearing about things like that most refreshing. This particular friend is actually an old flame of my husband's from 30 years ago, and fills me in on embellished tales of his naughtiness which fit with other people's version very nicely, and my own, .. She is an accomplished fire eating trapeze artist in her own right so makes for very interesting and hilarious company. I was able to fill her in on my husband own circus antics which had taken place earlier in the week.

We had attempted to do the dance of the dustbins at dawn one morning, which involves him scantily clothed in a neon check eastern european toweling robe, made by the bad taste police and purchased by myself as a present. However due to violent dishwasher emptying by him, I had been in an epic huff and filled the dustbin full of cracked and chipped beyond measure, plates and bowls. So he was unable to run after the lorry, due to it's weight.

Later on in the morning I had been semi told off and asked to come and observe how he would pack the rubbish down and make the bin last another two weeks. Having moved the very weighty bin, and lined it up with my Clacton concrete coal bunker.. he then climbed from that into the bin itself. His legs got stuck down the sides of the rubbish, the bin fell backwards with him inside, rubbish, including plates spilling out on top of him, and then to clinch it all, in true Laurel and Hardy manner a ladder which just happened to be propped in the wrong place came down in down in slow motion and on top of him. He had his best hat on and grinned inanely at me. I was not sure whether to laugh or cry, so I did both.

For some reason after this swapping of dreadful stories as he clinked wine glasses together with the couple staying with us, we then got on to the subject of terrible toilets and happenings they have had. I have been really looking forward to popping over to their house in Ireland again. I had a lovely holiday there a couple of years back, apart from the gastric bug caught on Our Lady Air, on the way over, combined with our squabbles to the airport, the missing of our flights at dawn, the re booking of new ones and our eventual arrival at an airport the wrong end of Ireland.. and an extra seven hour drive. It was still a fantastic holiday, and also very funny.

We stayed in a converted cow shed and enjoyed the violent storms and sheet rain and particularly liked our accommodation in an old converted cow shed - I enjoyed being a silly old cow in there and found it all most comfortable. However since our departure, apparently a large colony of rats have turned up on their land and rather unfortunately have taken a shine to arriving in part of their house via the loo. Despite a U bend full of triple strength bleach, and oodles of correct clearing up of the land outside some rather abundant and determined rodents, make it their business to swim through a cess pit, down several pipes and up into a rather gleaming white bowl.. Apparently they are currently retraining the rats not to want to go in there by keeping some bricks on top of the seat, so they unlearn how easy it is to arrive in their abode, due to the dead end they encounter.nightly. . For some reason the thought of sitting on that to contemplate Irish village life has taken on alarming proportions currently, however not to be thwarted I certainly almost want to go there immediately. A change of scene is as good as a rest.

This story was swiftly eclipsed by a much worse one involving her abode in Sierra Leone working for a charity, The downstairs toilet in their accommodation became entertainment for herself her partner and guests. A large crab lived down the bottom of the loo, and would pop out of the pipe whenever anybody turned the light on hoping to use the facility. If you went to sit down it would rear up with its eyes on stalks and clack its front claws together - its was named Colin, and it still lives there apparently, and is continuing to make anybody scream who visits that particular address, most choose to retreat to the upstairs bathroom at that address.

It peps me up no end having visitors, whether ill or otherwise, good for me and good for the children, and good for my man - and the more traveled they are the better! I am currently a bit crumby, worn out from being unwell and looking after others who are unwell, but nevertheless enjoying myself when I can. My friend Dithers has been ringing me to talk about ex boyfriends and their strange habits, including one awful dinner where she had to appease one particularly awful one by eating a nondescript over priced soup, which resembled nothing and has been renamed Mediterranean dish slops with garlic and fish overtones. Along with hearing how her bed has collapsed again into a heap of firewood, as a mutual friend of ours had been employed to do DIY, and had made it even worse. I could literally write a whole book about him, some of the things he did to me over the last twenty five years would warrant a film being made, .The amount of disasters we encountered when sharing a flat together, are still talked about at other people's dinner parties, some I was personally involved in were so dreadful I may have to divulge them, although one did cause a particular scandal for quite some months!

I celebrated getting over my cold by buying a rather awful onsie.in rainbow colours, (perhaps I am menopausal). Actually the children have them and want me to wear one... they also have plans for their father, which he will oppose desperately - only to give in eventually, He is a good sport and quite often under his suit wears his Mr Messy T Shirt which they brought him which does alarm people at times, particularly some of his clients, when having removed smart jacket and think jumper, he forgets he is wearing it, a nice formal meeting with other men in suits etc.

He will be rummaging through his clothes later, as he has finally worked out I do have a sort of holding cupboard where I put dreadful things that look awful... to see if he notices that they have gone, they stay there for two years, before going in the clothing bank, unless he mournfully looks for something, then I give it back. However he was rather pleased to find it the other day, and packed most of it up. Progress indeed.

Talking about progress, I am still on all my nutri supplements and they seem to tame things a bit.. and the LDN has gone up to 2mg.. nothing much has changed, although I would say that my skin has moved marginally in the right direction again. I hope to see more changes as I increase the dose. I have high hopes for this. However I have been very very very naughty about Dr BDP's diaries I have been writing a letter to him since last summer.. and need to get that posted off with the various things noted down, very very naughty and disorganized of me.

Mary F x

16 Replies

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  • I have run out of words to describe how much I enjoy reading your blogs, They give me the giggles, Thank you. X

  • Goody, and thanks. MaryF x

  • As ever another good giggle which always cheers me. Thank you:)

  • and cheers to you too xx

  • Another amusing story.

  • Cheers M x

  • Another great read! A friend of mine always says she belongs to the Quentin Crisp School of Housekeeping.I belong to it at the moment because i still feel rough, so have to turn a blind eye to it all! x

  • Yes well currently I am modelling myself on Miss Havisham;s abode! Mary F x

  • Brilliant blog really bucked me up and made my day - Thanks Mary. Your writing style puts me in mind of Tom Sharpe and some years since I read his books but so entertaining and funny.

    Isis x

  • A compliment indeed, and yes I remember those books! Mary F x

  • Oh Mary, what a miserable world it would be without people like you to brighten our days. There is nothing more healing than a good laugh, sorry it's at your expense. Hope you feel better soon. My hubby has flu but has lost his sense of humour along with it.x

  • oh dear.. he needs to make you laugh immediately. Mary F x

  • I'm still laughing - such a brilliant blog - housework is the most overrated activity. I usually do mine half an hour before visitors arrive! I loved the dustbin episode - all the best.

  • goody.. I intend to get the cats to do mine in future x m x

  • Oh Mary,

    What can I say brilliant as usual and I did laugh and cry over the dustbin.

    Karen x

  • Yes, he was not so quite amused at the time..Mary F x

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