This will be briefer now because I wrote it once and tried to upload it an somehow it got lost.
I woke up at 9.45 ( didn't try to sleep till after 2am) made tea for us both,drank mine then fell deep asleep had nightmares and woke uo at 12 noon feeling awful. I am trying to be objective and describe how I feel....my eyelid was twitching, fairly constant now, headache, feeling in eras like tinnitus, absolutely exhausted and wretched, muzzy head, giddy feeling. My muscles weren't aching but I am aware of the muscles in my arms and legs.
I felt so awful and tired, throughout my whole body all I could do was stay where I was on the settee ( I sleep there..long story but it's better for my back,and our awful bed).I felt too tired and weak to stand and start anything like a normal day..and I have lots of days like that. It's 2 weeks till I get my results from the Endo.
I am terrified they are "normal" and praying they show something that has at least the hope of treatment. The Dr isn't here when I am having a bad day like this...surely normal people don't feel like this when they wake up?
With the work situation I described in my last blog I rarely see anyone but my hubby and I sleek to my Mum on the phone but she is350 miles away...they are both really I'll and feel as bad as me.
I can't remember what it feels to be normal... And I'm really obese now too..really tall but large too and I hate everything about myself. What on earth will I do if the Endo says the tests are all ok. I have prepared a chart with the list of 14 tests he's dine for most possible hormones, and the test range and left a space to put in my results when I get them on5 th Oct.
I couldn't think what to do...so I am here in the settee with a blanket over me resting and using my iPad. I have to say it has been great , I can read books on it , play games write posts contact you..etc it has
Kept me sane.
Meant to say..noticed my mouth is now very often dry. Also I used to sing a lot but a couple of years ago when singing in assembly at my Junior School I noticed my voice was hoarse....don't know if it's affected my speaking voice but definitely singing and I get breathless really quickly..I blamed my weight but reading seems to suggest even slim people who are hypo get breathlessness.
Well thanks for listening it is all I could do to get it off my chest. I know someone out there will have felt the same.surely this can't all be psychosomatic?