Coping with my UAT and possible Asperger husband

[Paula101]

I'm totally broken trying to cope with my UAT and my husband who might possibly have Aspergers.

My marriage is breaking down and it's an extremely traumatic time.

I'm going to ask him if he'll consider getting a diagnosis.

Having read up on Aspergers, he ticks a lot of the boxes over & over again.

I'm looking at asking the GP and/or go privately.

Should he turn out to be an Aspie then it explains everything that's gone on over the years. If not, then I dread to think from what place this is coming.

If anyone has experience of this, please PM me with any advice.

Thank you so much for reading my post.

[shaws Administrator]

Paula101 we certainly have a lot to cope with when our thyroid gland is dysfunctional and doctor doesn't ensure that the TSH is 1 or lower with FT4 and FT3 in the upper part of the ranges. Especially if they adjust doses willy/nilly according to the TSH alone. You also have to have optimum B12, Vit D, iron, ferritin and folate.

At present you are suffering with a great burden, not just your own health but your poor husband too.

The following might contain some helpful advice for you.

google.com/search?q=what+is...

If any member can help with your question, they will send you a Private Message and with both of you suffering I hope there's a solution for the stress both of you are undergoing at present.

For you, hypothyroidism, always get the earliest appointment and a 24 hours gap between last dose of levo and test and take afterwards. Ask GP to test B12, Vit D, iron, ferritin and folate. Everything has to be optimal.

[Paula101 in reply to shaws]

shaws, thank you so much for replying.

Your link was really interesting and when I think I've read just about everything on the matter, there is still more and that can only be a good thing in order to move things forward.

Thank you for being so kind.

[Marymary7]

Try to keep your spirits up if you can while you read up on everything you can. Not an easy situation for you.

Big hugs x

[Paula101 in reply to Marymary7]

Thank you, that is very kind of you. My mother tells me I'm too independent and too self reliant inspite of the trauma I'm finding some strength from it. Many thanks again.

[Aurealis]

You could try the National Autistic Society. I think they offer support to partners...

[Paula101 in reply to Aurealis]

Thank you Aurealis, they are on my list to check out. You're very kind.

[AmandaK]

Hello Paula101,

Maxine Aston has a wealth of experience counselling couples or individuals where one or both partners have Aspergers and has written a number of books. I don't think she carries out counselling nowadays, but there are useful resources on her website: maxineaston.co.uk/

I am married to someone who self-diagnosed as having Aspergers, but who has refused to obtain a formal diagnosis. It's not an easy relationship, but I have coped by seeking help and by trying to understand the condition as much as possible.

I suggest you seek useful support for yourself, but it would be imperative for a counsellor to have an in-depth understanding of Aspergers as traditional counselling methods might not be appropriate.

But first and foremost, if your husband could be persuaded to have a diagnosis that would be a huge step forward and it may also open up resources.

[Paula101 in reply to AmandaK]

Amanda

I'm so grateful for your response. Just reading your post makes me feel less lonely. I will certainly read your link, as the more I can inform myself the better. I'll also check out the book.

I do take your point about getting a counsellor who is well informed on Aspergers, however finding one is fine only if a partner is willing & I'd never push him to do it.

As you say in the meantime getting support & staying informing is a good course of action.

Thank you so so very much.

Paula