I had an awful migraine on Tuesday, and the yesterday was a day of catching the water falling out of my eyes all day. I gave up bread and grains quite a while ago, and found my shortness of breath improved a great deal, as well as other syptoms.
Well, ive been lax for a few days, and I think that may have brought on the migraine attack! Gluten intolerance, one of my many problems.
Then I read that Changing Seratonin levels can bring on migraines ( L-5HTP? )... And because of my awful low mood yesterday.. I wondered in I'm bi-polar?
I was surprised to read about the confirmed connection between thyroid issues and bi-polar syndrome..
One thing I do know, is I'm screwed.
I can't hold down a job because of the bad migraines, I can't get PIP, ESA, or any benefits because migraines are not fully recognised as the crippling debility that they are...my GP is too ignorant to recognise my Hypo thyroid problem... My mind is telling me there is no God, so go ahead and check out...it's ok.
The reptile part of my brain ( the part that has no emotions) is saying " you asshole, why are you getting so upset? So what if your tired? So what if your head hurts? You think your back hurts now? Wait a few more years ...Why are you so obsessed with your physical symptoms? Rise above them! Get a damned job and go to work with a Migraine, just Take the pills as soon as you think you may be getting an attack: instead of waiting to be sure .... ( Sumotriptan flattens me, it helps the pain, but takes a hard toll on my body).
The thought goes on to say " at least you are not locked up in some dungeon, or the wife of a Taliban, or homeless in Egypt...or blind or locked-in ...you are not truly suffering, you have no real hardship in your life; that's your problem!
The inside of my head is like an angry sea, waves pulling me this way and that... I'm so tired of being that cork !
And I believe it's all a chemical imbalance..the sputtering twitching thyroid not doing its job. Or some hidden dark tumour growing somewhere in my body ( how many people suffer with awful depression for years, then cancer gets detected, treated, then they are ok ? )
The one thing guaranteed is we all die. No need to hasten it, because time is speeding up anyway, it's on it way, just sit tight and wait.
Nutjob? Maybe. Depressed? Definately.