Until 3 months ago I was fit and healthy. Running up mountains, trainng in the gym.
I am so tearful and emotional why is this, I've never been like this in all of my 54 years.
I've only to think of my two boys, my parents , my sister, brother and I just sob uncontrollably.
It feels like my life is over and that I will never recover the get up and go that I once had. Hashi has a lot to answer for.
My overall feeling about some of the posts on this site is that a sense that hope is lost for many.
This is a living hell.
Written by
MikeR
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13 Replies
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So sorry to read your post. It really is a case of reading as much as you can about your condition, knowledge is power. It stands us in good stead when discussing with the medical profession, less chance of being fobbed off.
You have to be optimistic about returning to an active life. I found that having my favourite mountain bike in the lounge or kitchen helped as every time I looked at it I thought about happy times.
Thank you. I did run 2,4 miles yesterday and felt good. One a week only at the moment but I went 0.4 miles further in 17.5 miutes than last week. It's just so hard to stay positive when I haven't even seen the Endo to confirm things. My TPOab are 490+ and I wax and wane between hypo and hyper. Hashi for sure. I agree knowledge is power but it also seems to me that most folk seem to get saddled with the wrong meds and seem to go through sheer hell and suffer endlessly. Granted they may not in all cases have altered there diets etc to give themselves the best chance, but it does seem daunting sitting here alone trying to face into this.
Yes, its daunting, but you now have the collective knowlege of 30 odd thosand people on this forum, so it can all be figured out.
Dont force yourself to run faster and faster, specially not if you are not being treated. If your cells dont have enough energy because of a lack of thyroud hormobes, then your adrenals take over. Tax the adrenals too much and it takes much longer to feel well again.
The tears and wobbliness show you are not well..... You aren't superman (i assume). so dont try and prove that the antibodies and lack of hormones are mot affecting you, because sure as hell they are.
Make sure you have plenty if vitamin c, plenty of proper sleep in a very dark room and eat well. Avoid antacids and keep a track of any test results. Dont panic about the people on here who cannot get diagnosed, or who do badly on meds.... We are a minority group and many peopke do fine.
But you're not alone, Mike. We're here. Oh, not in the room, granted. But with you in spirit. We all know what you're going through. But some of us also know there is hope. You just have to stick at it! And, being someone who runs up mountains (??? running? I can't even imagine what it's like to run! I've had neuropathy since an early age) you must be good at sticking to things.
Of course you're going to have down moments, and bad days. We all do. But they will become fewer and further apart.
I've been weeping all my life - been hypo all my life but only diagnosed at 55 - and I've wept in some of the most cringingly embarrassing moments. In business meetings. Interviews. How about a cub scout evening? Just uncontrollable. But I Don't do that anymore. And one day, neither will you.
Have you had your B12 tested ? Low levels can effect how you are feeling. When deficient it can become a neurological condition. The level needs to be around 1000....
Also how are your levels of Iron - Ferritin - Folate - VitD ?
Docs know very little about the seriousness of B12 deficiency and think if you are just inside the bottom of the range you are fine. Sadly not as not all B12 can be utilised at a cellular level where it is needed.
It has been said before that those doing ok are not on this site.Not entirely true but since diagnosed I have come across 3 neighbours who are hypo with no problems. They did not know about this site ,no reason to look for help.
That said there are many who are starting their journey and in difficulty.It took me 12 months to feel nearly normal, I used to walk slowly up small hills in the Lakes and I want to see if I can still do that next time I am there.
Hello MikeR,
Listen..you are in the best place possible...HERE!
We have all been where you are......well most of us have and the support on the site is amazing.
I'm sitting here sobbing right now because I'm fed up, my feet hurt so badly, my bloods look all wrong, I have bags under my eyes which make me look like Methuselah and I'Ve had enough.
HOWEVER..... I come here......moan, cry, rant, laugh and marvel at the compassion and support from all these amazing people who I've never met and who've never met me!
Together, something remarkable happens ; comfort, reassurance, guidance and friendship.
It's a gloriously wonderful safe place where we can all be ourselves and share our joys and fears.
Ok sometimes one might feel that 'all hope is lost' when reading the trials and tribulations of others.
We battle and fight daily to claw our way back to good health and occasionally a post pops up and someone is sharing their success story....hurrah!!
I've been battling this all my life hashi/ hypos many of us have BUT WE DO SEE A BREAKTHROUGH.
Be kind to yourself Mike. Things do improve.
My own story involves myxoedema induced psychosis. Things don't get much worse than that. A few decades back I'd have been put in an Asylum and written off!
I'm a bright, intelligent career woman with children and I'm slowly but surely regaining my life.....partially due to medication and partially due to the support here. Fabulous!
Don't give up. We're all here for you.....these things take time and patience.
Thank you for taking time to reply, that is encouraging and as a solitary guy battling this alone, it seems very hard. I've always met challenges in my life and this I guess is just one more. I'm amazed that you can hold down a job et al. I've just struggled. Things are better, I am just having to adapt to the new normal. Which is so far from the health and wellbeing I enjoyed as a hardcore runner. Thank you again Joesmum.
I think part of the solution is not to make it a hell, find a way to accept where you are. I am 36 and was very active 3 years ago, getting established in an exciting career. But I've spent most of those last years in bed.
But its nothing like hell. In many ways in actually happier than I was before, because every decision I make is focused on being happy, getting what pleasure and happiness out of life that I can, and carrying no shit because I do not have the extra energy for it!
also consider it could be the menopause I have felt awful for the last year and blaming it on my thyroid,but have now realised its the menopause,the symptoms are so similar to thyroid not working well
Haha sorry Mike,I was talking to someone else about the menopause,then saw your post,didn't even take in your name,blame brain fog,thats my excuse anyway,hope your better soon
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