Ok. So I've survived the Pouter Pigeon with Attitude (endo) and am up to 2 grains of Naturethroid because 1 & 1/2 was too low, blah blah. So I take the 1 1/2 in the morning about an hour at least before I chomp and, on going to bed, taking the other 1/2 grain (to give my adrenals enough T3 to kick-start the production of cortisol at some ungodly hour of the morning - before 3 - 5am (when I still quite often awaken anyway with racing heart and runaway anxiety ...?). Down to a fine art, eh? Yes? Nope.
Now I find that I sometimes lie there at night trying to get to sleep and, rather than getting a heart rate something just above end-game slow with ectopic beats every 2 to 3 languid thump on 1 & 1/2 grains a day (which is why I worked up to the 2 that Pigeon recommended), my heart is trying to emulate that of a racehorse at full gallop. Could it be the bowls of cornflakes with sugar and almond milk I'd eaten just before going to sleep? I mean, I have cleaned up my act - almond milk! Unsweetened, I'll have you know, so don't go on (ok - I did have a dessertspoonful of sugar with the cornflakes. And the cornflakes are as good as sugar anyway.) And I've cut out gluten as far as possible. Ok, I did have cornflakes ...
I do try. I only have bread when I'm so desperate for something quick and I can't face the sodden clackiness of another slice of Genius, toasted, cremated or just defrosted, once every blue moon. And I am trying to cut out sugar - I've bought the book and everything, although maybe reading the so**ing thing might help - along with the five about thyroid, and Paleo, good fats, bad fats, circadian rhythms (is that one about singing insects?), God and how to survive a narcissistic mother. I even cut out chocolate for weeks, but the call of the Flake is so strong so relapse is an inevitability.
I've drunk tea tasting like toffee, almonds, mold, soil and what I imagine pee to taste like in my quest for a milk-substitute. I've tried cheese that is manufactured from the stuff left over from the distillation of petrol from crude oil - you'd think that'd've given me a boost. I've tried reducing my carbs and trying to manage the carb storms that result, eating from a more varied vegetable palette - try finding a varied range of vegetables in the outermost hinterlands of Lancashire, I defy you, and using my Nutribuillet for anything else other than draping the teatowel over to air. And don't dare anyone mention Slimming World, Weight Watchers, Rosemary Conley, Paul McKenna or anyone else that makes billions out of fat misery - been there, done it ...
But I'm still half asleep when I'm not unconscious, fat as a barrel, legs that look like porridge-filled tights, stomach going the same way, arms that are two sizes bigger in tops than my already whopping bosoms, weak as a kitten, and blown away by the sense that I am sitting in the centre of a Big Bang explosion of knowledge about how to tackle this S**DING disorder, desperately hoping that someone will JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
Got an appointment to see a "Rehabilitative Medicine" consultant who heads up the NHS ME/CFS clinic I've recently found, in Leigh. It's Lancashire, but I'm still holding out some hope.
Took 1 1/4 grains this morning and will take another 1/2 grain later - but when? Afternoon? Evening? 2am? Do I build back up or go straight back to 2 grains, split dose. Do I not increase back to 2 grains ... ???