Off topic - please help, awful neighbours

[Kitten-whiskers]

Hello everyone,

So sorry to post so soon, we have had a neighbour problem that has been going about four years, more recently it has got worse and is becoming unbearable, three lots (all friends) have ganged up - it has always been that way, if your 'not a local' then you are not welcome, others have just moved away but of course things have changed and that really isn't an option sadly.

I am starting to get very concerned as I do worry the person I live with may do something silly, he has become very depressed and his axiety has gone through the roof - their seems to be no calming him down or rationing with him.

Does anyone know where their is any help, we have been in contact with the council but unless we are in danger we can not be moved, only through an online exchange - no one wants to move here.

My health is also beginning to suffer : <

[Olive]

I feel for you. There are laws in this country for non use of mobiles when driving, no smoking in confined spaces, no riding cycles on the pavement, no exceeding speed limits, but noise and upset from neighbours is very difficult to resolve. Playing excessively loud music during the night may not be allowed but thumping footballs against fences is equally irritating and stressful. I imagine not enough people complain but just put up with it. People nowadays are not taught to respect others and there is no enforceable law requiring them to do so. Something is very wrong. More and more people are stressed by neighbours nowadays which, unless this is addressed, will put even more strain on the NHS as people succumb to various stress-related illnesses. I do hope you find someone able to assist.

[Kitten-whiskers in reply to Olive]

Thank you Olive, yes it is awful. I do understand why people haven't said anything as they have seen the aggro that we get but if we all stood together, then I am sure we could get something done.

You are right we are to passive and put up with unreasonable behavior.

It's been a long battle that we are no nearer to solving.

[JillOliver in reply to Kitten-whiskers]

In the same boat with my neighbours and I did complain and I did get aggro! Which culminated in some useless <expletive> attempting to kick my front door in one sunny Sunday afternoon! Very long and irritating story, so won't waffle on! The house adjoining mine next door is a private let and its a keep it in the, let's say not very bright, benefit street side of the family! So unless the owners sell, I am stuck! Then again if they sold it it might be to even worse people.... Hmmm actually I don't think there are worse people!

[Kitten-whiskers in reply to JillOliver]

Hello JillOliver,

Sorry to hear it is happening to you as well, that is disgraceful behaviour one of them trying to kick your door in, they will try anything.

The lot round hear made up lies to the police saying that we were a danger - three visits we had from them , and people giving evil looks from true villiage idiots and my car got sprayed in something yukky - they got found out to be liars when the moved even closer to us.

It is so irritating, I do hope you get something sorted

Best wishes

[glo42]

You have my sympathy because very many years ago I also was in a similar situation as you are experiencing right now. It does drag you down and ultimately affects your health.

Is your GP or any other health/social worker able to offer help or support to you and your partner at such a stressful time. Perhaps a Councillor is an option for you to talk over your concerns. It is not good, as I can remember only too well and so I do wish you the very best of luck right now.

[Kitten-whiskers in reply to glo42]

Thank you Glo42,

It is a nightmare, the neighbours are getting worse and worse because they have rights and no one else seems to in their eyes.

The stress has got to us both, we had a massive argument in the car & he said some things that can not be taken back, as a result I really did over react and got very angry, now feel really bad.

We just really want to move, but things are so difficult now, making a solution almost impossible.

[Teddysmum43]

You're not alone,my neighbours cause me such stress too,mostly children noise,excessive banging on their slide,screaming,I can never properly rest incase they start up.rubbish thrown in the garden,squeaky toy they use to wind up my dogs. Been told to eff off when I've asked them to stop throwing rubbish in my garden.i just want to move but I can't.council don't want to know because its children's noise. Children can do what they like apparently. I have two teenagers and I have never let them bother other people,I'm starting to change that view now! There is a good website called the noisy neighbours forum,they have helpful advice and are also very good for support. Good luck I'm right there with you!

[Kitten-whiskers in reply to Teddysmum43]

Hello Teddysmum43,

Is is much the same my end, they are right outside our window (due to a small bit of public grass) with every chance they get, screaming and shouting (encouraged by there sad parents) non stop throughout the summer, their are balls flying rounding, hitting my front door, windows and even the cars, the kids charge over peoples front gardens - the noise is horrendous. Yet only us speak out.

When asked if they can keep the noise down, the three lots of useless parents ganged up, and are trying to make things really unpleasant.

The kids are shoved out to do what they like, and the parents go in and shut the door, then make an effort to call them in about 9pm at night.

I have to let of steam with them otherwise I get really ill coz of the stress, my struggling adrenals take a pounding and all the good progress i have made, just dwindles away.

When I get home from work I want to study for my exams that are coming up, but no chance.

Thank you for the Wed site - I will have a look, and for sharing, I am so glad I am not the only one that thinks what they are doing is unreasonable.

Best wishes

[MariLiz]

Hi Kitten-whiskers,

I sympathise with you wholeheartedly having had the same issues myself. The council did install a recording device to monitor the noise, but then they have to tell the people they are monitoring! Of course it all went quiet for the two weeks the device was in place. I did find my local MP was good, he actually contacted the Housing Association responsible for housing these people. I would say we now have an uneasy truce.

It does make you ill, and the stress levels are horrendous. Try Citizens Advice and your MP, also the Council should be monitoring what is going on. Keep a diary of noise issues, swearing etc... Good Luck and I hope you can get some help. MariLiz

[Kitten-whiskers in reply to MariLiz]

Hello MarLiz,

Thank you so much, two of the three families are no longer council - would they still be able to help? Their was a big reluctance last time.

Our health really is suffering, it is hard enough dealing with and trying to find the answers to our own illnesses without theses lazy parents - who can not be bothered to look after their own kids.

The newest neighbour appears to leave her little boy on his own in the house - surely that isn't exceptable .

Thank you for the good ideas, I really appreciate it, as we don not know what to do - probably because of all the stress and being the minority

Best wishes

[MariLiz in reply to Kitten-whiskers]

Hi Kitten-whiskers, there is a lower age limit for leaving children alone in the house, your Social Services department should be able to help with that. It is harder if the families own their own houses, and I admit I had trouble when it was child-related noise. My argument was, any noise at levels to cause nuisance, whether from children screaming and thumping footballs against my fence, or the adults swearing and playing loud music, should be looked into.

I do hope you can get some support from the council. Best wishes MariLiz

[Kitten-whiskers in reply to MariLiz]

Thank you MariLiz - we are not going to back down, it's just sometimes the stress just builds up.

[PennyR]

How awful for you. You have some answers about - council, CAB, forums etc. The council certainly shouldn't be fobbing you off. They have a duty of care. There are such things as noise abatement notices and penalties for breaching. Also ASBOs of course. You mention other neighbours who do nothing? If you all ganged up against these three horrific sets of parents, then surely you have some clout? I worry about this little boy left alone - how old is he? Social Services is your answer there. Or the police. Hope this helps and things get better soon.

[Kitten-whiskers in reply to PennyR]

Hello PennyR,

Thank you for you reply.

It is hard to say the age of the young boy but he is the youngest one by far and I would say around six. He really shouldn't be on his own, what about electrical appliances, the cooker etc.

When I have seen the mother with him, she is always on her phone, or shouting at him

All the people round hear need a dose of J Kyle

Best wishes

[Teddysmum43]

There is just nothing that gets me more wound up than people who have no respect for others,sadly it is rife in this day and age. I got told I was really nasty to my neighbours kids,I never ever have been even with all the noise!ive decided to make just as much noise stuff it if you can't beat them join them! I do find talking to other like minded people helps as well,it gets it off your chest a bit even though you still have to live with it,every bit helps. No one else says anything in our area either,perhaps they aren't as noise sensitive as me but I know the lady on the other side of them isn't well either.

[Kitten-whiskers in reply to Teddysmum43]

Hello Teddysmum43,

I take it the battle continues, we had the same thing our end, we were bullies etc, they were the ones that lied to the police, saying we were a danger - three visits we got from them, and they sprayed my car with something yukky.

I hope you get things sorted, it's just such a difficult situation, it just drives me mad, no peace in the summer at all. I can't wait for the winter, lots of rain and dark nights : <

[Joyia]

Have you thought of covert videoing their antics, there is nothing like factual evidence when trying to get authorities to sit up, I used to work in family law and my boss always advised keeping an accurate diary and filming if possible to produce in evidence, writing it all down helps to relieve one's stress level too, this takes it to another level not just your word against theirs.

[PennyR in reply to Joyia]

I so agree about the diary etc but I suspect that once/if they discover you are filming them, it will be you that gets into trouble!

[Kitten-whiskers in reply to PennyR]

I share your concerns PennyR, we have started keeping a diary and will be ringing the council, trying not to let them fob as of this time.

[Kitten-whiskers in reply to Joyia]

Good morning Joyla,

Thank you for your reply, I did think of filming as evidence but I did wonder if we would end up getting in trouble, could they turn it around in some way? they are nasty pieces of work and would happily lie to get us in trouble - in theory it makes sense, but with our lot could it back fire?

[Joyia in reply to Kitten-whiskers]

Kitten I was only a legal sec not a solicitor and you would be wise to seek advice re filming evidence, but provided you are doing it covertly and not in their face behind your own curtains as such I cannot see it would be unlawful, perhaps you could contact the Police and see what their view is, many people do film for evidence. As for the Council not being helpful unless you are in danger, this is typical of authorities not taking mental health issues seriously, again you could go back to the Council to try to get them to recognise mental health is as important as physical health. I know it is very difficult in these situations but you must keep trying every avenue including making a nuisance of yourself, that often works! So many people are in trouble these days that authorities will take a blind eye if they can but you must persist, certainly do not enter into confrontations with the instigators as they want they anger fuelled.

[Kitten-whiskers in reply to Joyia]

Hello Joyia,

I really appreciate your advice : > and you are right, we must try every avenue until something works, we have been a nuisance but it hasn't made a difference, they have their rights and that really is it.

You would have thought that something would have been learned about that terrible story in the news of that lady and her disabled daughter, the neighbours made their lives miserable, so much so that the mother and daughter are no longer here.

Authorities never want to do anything, there is to much fence sitting going on

[Sylvia22]

See if your Doctor will write to the council telling them that this is affecting your health

[Kitten-whiskers in reply to Sylvia22]

Good morning Sylvia22,

I did take a letter to a meeting with the council three years ago - the letter said it was effecting my health, the response was we do not get involved in that, if you want to move then it is all done on line though exchange. They would only every help move us if we were in danger : <

[Sylvia22 in reply to Kitten-whiskers]

O.K. In that case get in touch with your local M.P.Either by letter or arrange to go and see them.

[Kitten-whiskers in reply to Sylvia22]

Thank you Sylvia22, we will do : >

[Teddysmum43]

I'm the same I look forward to the winter! How sad is that?? Anytime you want to chat Hun I'm here,we can swap stories lol xxx

[Kitten-whiskers in reply to Teddysmum43]

Sounds like a great idea Teddysmum43, it will help vent the anger : >