My friend's annoying comment

[MoaningLisa]

I posted the below about Hashimoto's disease after I've just been diagnosed after 18 years of struggling (you know the usual story) and my friend responded in an ignorant way that really annoyed me and I wanted to share it with you and see if anyone here thinks she's right?! First here is what started it ...

Hi. My name is Hashimoto's. I'm an invisible autoimmune disease that attacks your thyroid gland causing you to become hypothyroid.

I am now velcroed to you for life. If you have hypothyroidism, you probably have me. I am the number one cause of it in the U.S. and many other places around the world.

I'm so sneaky--I don't always show up in your blood work.

Others around you can't see me or hear me, but YOUR body feels me.

I can attack you anywhere and any way I please.

I can cause severe pain or, if I'm in a good mood, I can just cause you to ache all over.

Remember when you and energy ran around together and had fun?

I took energy from you, and gave you exhaustion. Try to have fun now.

I can take good sleep from you and in its place, give you brain fog and lack of concentration.

I can make you want to sleep 24/7, and I can also cause insomnia.

I can make you tremble internally or make you feel cold or hot when everyone else feels normal.

I can also give you swollen hands and feet, swollen face and eyelids, swollen everything.

I can make you feel very anxious with panic attacks or very depressed. I can also cause other mental health problems. You know crazy mood swings? That's me. Crying for no reason? Angry for no reason? That's probably me too.

I can make your hair fall out, become dry and brittle, cause acne, cause dry skin, the sky is the limit with me.

I can make you gain weight and no matter what you eat or how much you exercise, I can keep that weight on you. I can also make you lose weight. I don't discriminate.

Some of my other autoimmune disease friends often join me, giving you even more to deal with.

If you have something planned, or are looking forward to a great day, I can take that away from you. You didn't ask for me. I chose you for various reasons:

That virus or viruses you had that you never really recovered from, or that car accident, or maybe it was the years of abuse and trauma (I thrive on stress.) You may have a family history of me. Whatever the cause, I'm here to stay.

I hear you're going to see a doctor to try and get rid of me. That makes me laugh. Just try. You will have to go to many, many doctors until you find one who can help you effectively.

You will be put on the wrong medication for you, pain pills, sleeping pills, energy pills, told you are suffering from anxiety or depression, given anti-anxiety pills and antidepressants.

There are so many other ways I can make you sick and miserable, the list is endless - that high cholesterol, gall bladder issue, blood pressure issue, blood sugar issue, heart issue among others? That's probably me.

Can't get pregnant, or have had a miscarriage?

That's probably me too.

Shortness of breath or "air hunger?" Yep, probably me.

Liver enzymes elevated? Yep, probably me.

Teeth and gum problems? TMJ?

Hives? Yep, probably me.

I told you the list was endless.

You may be given a TENs unit, get massaged, told if you just sleep and exercise properly I will go away.

You'll be told to think positively, you'll be poked, prodded, and MOST OF ALL, not taken seriously when you try to explain to the endless number of doctors you've seen, just how debilitating I am and how ill and exhausted you really feel. In all probability you will get a referral from these 'understanding' (clueless) doctors, to see a psychiatrist.

Your family, friends and co-workers will all listen to you until they just get tired of hearing about how I make you feel, and just how debilitating I can be.

Some of them will say things like "Oh, you are just having a bad day" or "Well, remember, you can't do the things you use to do 20 YEARS ago", not hearing that you said 20 DAYS ago.

They'll also say things like, "if you just get up and move, get outside and do things, you'll feel better." They won't understand that I take away the 'gas' that powers your body and mind to ENABLE you to do those things.

Some will start talking behind your back, they'll call you a hypochondriac, while you slowly feel that you are losing your dignity trying to make them understand, especially if you are in the middle of a conversation with a "normal" person, and can't remember what you were going to say next. You'll be told things like, "Oh, my grandmother had that, and she's fine on her medication" when you desperately want to explain that I don't impose myself upon everyone in the exact same way, and just because that grandmother is fine on the medication SHE'S taking, doesn't mean it will work for you.

They will not understand that having this disease impacts your body from the top of your head to the tip of your toes, and that every cell and every body system and organ requires the proper amount and the right kind of of thyroid hormone medication for YOU.

Not what works for someone else.

The only place you will get the kind of support and understanding in dealing with me is with other people that have me. They are really the only ones who can truly understand.

I am Hashimoto's Disease.

Her response :

"I'm sorry but why would having thyroid disease effect your adrenals. I have adrenal insufficiency and it is not fun and games and that is because I have pituitary damage, thyroid disease and adrenals do not go hand in hand.... you'd be at deaths door. With medication thyroid disease really shouldn't rule your life as much as this letter claims. 15 out of 1000 woman in the UK have it and 1 in 1000 men and that is just hypothyroid, so if you are looking at thyroid disease as a big picture it is a huge amount. I think sometimes people need to deal with anxiety or depression, perhaps as a symptom or perhaps as a stand alone and when that is under control they can try to start to feel better."

[humanbean]

Give your friend this link - short and easy to read :

stopthethyroidmadness.com/a...

I'm sure other people will come up with better links.

Your friend sounds like one of those annoying people who has to compete with everyone - "I'm sicker than you" syndrome.

And her implied suggestion that having thyroid disease is "fun and games" would make me want to punch her in the face!

[TigerTea]

Friend? Ex-friend would be my response 🙋

Great bit of writing by the by 👏

[Justiina]

Wouldn't call her a friend

[MoaningLisa]

Thanks everyone. I did post that link about how adrenals can cause havoc on the thyroid, didn't help. By the way, I didn't write that Hashimoto's letter, it was posted on the STTM forum. I have to share this because it's actually making me mad! She's basically said Hashimoto's wasn't a "real disease". Here's more of what she said:

"My point is with the amount of people that have it, if it ruled your life as much as this letter claims and with all the other diseases there are in the world nothing would ever get done!! I think sometimes people who are diagnosed with illness need counselling rather than just being given a diagnosis and asked to manage. I just think that all your posts are about health and I worry that you are letting it get on top of you. (I hardly ever post about health!)

When people like me are dealing with adrenal insufficiency or Addison's Disease which are real diseases and life threatening, things like 'adrenal fatigue' are insulting and you can ask anyone in my forums!"

[TigerTea in reply to MoaningLisa]

Somewhere online will be the 'correct version' of the quote about walking a mile in someone's shoes before judging them, perhaps She should read it, several times, by rote, until it sinks in. No-one knows how what you are living with affects & restricts your life but You, I try not to be patronising when I say I feel sorry for people who lack empathy for others - oh to hell with it, they're all just wazzacks! 😂

[Treepie]

Disease is perhaps the wrong name for a hormonal disorder but untreated hypothyroidism can lead to myxodemia coma and death.

[greygoose in reply to Treepie]

No, it is the correct term.

I've had this argument before, and looked it up in the dictionary. I won.

[Treepie in reply to greygoose]

Maybe,but not sure it is helpful.

[greygoose in reply to Treepie]

Why would it not be helpful?

If you can say you have a 'disease', people are more likely to be sympathetic and take you seriously.

What's the alternative?

'I have a slight problem with my thyroid?'

'My thyroid is bothering me a bit?'

'I'm somewhat Under the weather because my T3 is below range?'

That's not very convincing, is it?

Hypothyroidism is serious, as you said, and it should be perceived as such by those that Don't have it.

It is a disease and should be respected as such.

We have enough problems with doctors that Under-mine us and down-play our illness, as it is, we Don't want to encourage them by down-grading our condition.

[Treepie in reply to greygoose]

I guess I don't like the idea of being diseased just unbalanced!!!

Did you go in for school debating!

[greygoose in reply to Treepie]

No! And that's the problem! So, I'm getting my dose of debating on here! lol

Hmm... put like that... I Don't fancy BEING diseased, either. But I Don't facy being unbalanced, either. lol I'll stick to having a disease, I think.

[faith63 in reply to Treepie]

Treepie..Do you have Hashimoto's? Having an Autoimmune Disease is not an imbalance.

[faith63 in reply to Treepie]

Treepie..Hashimoto's which causes most all Hypothyroidism is an Autoimmune Disease. A Disease.

[Treepie in reply to faith63]

I know it is but I do not have to like it! My main problem is balance which the endo seems to think is caused by alcohol instead of being hypo. Hence what was meant as an ironic joke. Of course if I was female there would be no doubt that I was unbalanced with a different meaning as far as medics are concerned.

Only tested antibodies once ,a year ago : 600 plus so yes Hashi not that any doc I have seen has used the term.

[faith63 in reply to Treepie]

There is Hashimotos Encephally..where it impacts the brain. There is Ataxia, associated with Hypothyroidism. Google these. I thought you meant that your thyroid hormones were imbalanced, not that you had issues with balance. It is connected.

[Treepie in reply to faith63]

Hi Faith,The brain scan showed I have one ,which answered a few queries, but nothing else showed .One of the Dr Clark videos explained that thyroid antibodies can attack the brain and the inner ear so yes may be the cause of the ataxia. But blood tests show some liver damage so the docs prefer alcohol .The endo said only one in 400 suffer from balance problems from antibodies. Wonder who did the count!

As my balance and energy level was much improved whilst in the hot sun of the Canaries and detiorated as soon as I got back I do not buy the alcohol theory. Currently waiting for iron saturation blood test result as the last stop other than alcohol.

I may try Armour next as a couple of ladies I spoke to at the TPA conference reckoned NDT had improved their balance.

[faith63 in reply to Treepie]

There is nothing special about Armour, except it contains t3..which is probably what you are lacking. I will never again take ndt as it flared up my Hashi's..i became ill on it 3x..i would suggest looking into t3, to add to your t4 or t3 on its own..ndt does have the potential to make you worse. The risk is up to you. Keep up with your research. Dr.'s can be very dangerous.

[Clutter]

Moaning Lisa, Hashimoto's is an autoimmune thyroid disease which causes hypothyroidism which is a condition. Long time undiagnosed hypothyroidism can cause adrenal issues which is why the makers of Levothyroxine suggest adrenal issues should be addressed prior to prescribing Levothyroxine. Not that doctors take any notice of the suggestion.

Thyroid replacement hormone should restore thyroid hormone levels if sufficient dose is prescribed and if the patient can tolerate the medication prescribed. No attempt is made to treat the underlying autoimmune disease nor is there any acknowledgement from doctors that Hashimoto's can significantly impair quality of life.

Your 'friend' sounds like an unsympathetic and obnoxious female dog.

[greygoose in reply to Clutter]

Clutter! Don't insult dogs!!! My dog is much more sympathetic than that!

MoaningLisa, your friend is totally and 100% wrong and I think I would have slapped her! I certainly would have felt like it.

She is ignorant and believes that adrenals are only affected if you have Cushing's or Addison's, she can't see anything in between. Most doctors think like that. She's not a doctor, is she? She talks like one!

Just make her an ex friend - I know it's hard, but I've had to do that several times. People like that bring you down, and that's not what you want at the moment - or any moment, come to that! It's a shame, because your knowledge would have helped her a lot, but too bad. She should be a better person! lol

Hugs, Grey x

[Zephyrbear]

With friends like that, who needs enemies?

[faith63 in reply to Zephyrbear]

With Friend like that, who needs doctors? if that makes any sense.

[Clutter in reply to faith63]

Faith, our members will get it

[faith63 in reply to Clutter]

I meant to say Friends..can't even spell lately. They will get that too! Thanks!

[Trixie64]

Through having Hashimoto's I've learned that true friends are few in number. The one I used to think was a special friend proved to be completely non-understanding, so she is now an ex-friend and part of my past. Other, newer, truer, friends have come along.

Worse though, to my great and everlasting cost, my own brother and his family not only didn't try to help when I was going through the several years (undiagnosed - "all psychological") hyperactive phase of Hashi's, but actually ruined my life by taking advantage of the fact that all my cognitive functions were so badly affected, to do me out of a huge amount of money. They still won't take any resposibility for what they did, now that my brain has recovered, but try to blame me for staying ill for so long, not getting a second opinion, and don't care that they have made me so unhappy.

Thanks to Dr P, I'm on the way back to health, but it's taking much longer than it should because of having had these toxic people in my life.

Say goodbye to your "friend." You'll be better off without her.

[Binska_]

Wow she sounds so ignorant and insensitive

[Didnothear]

Ha ha ha, you have written my life's history! No I don't think she is right, one of my daughters once said to me come on Mother get fit loose some weight, come swimming( my favourite sport) oh how I would love to do just that!! I actually did say to my doctor that no, I'm not depressed, let's say I'm extremely pissed off, there is a massive difference!! At this moment in time I'm extremely tired, can't walk very far, got brain fog, palpitations so have been put on warfarin, have blood in my urine, and just to make things interesting, I have to do things with one hand (my left) because I have a frozen shoulder. You don't loose your sense of humour though, do you.😄😄

[tracyxx]

the thing with some deseases no two people have exactly the same conditions or treatments. Why we are so different and people who do not have bad illnesses or have a mild illness do not realise how it effects us? Work are horrible with what you look well. If you have that why don't you go on the club not work impossible to claim sick pay anymore. So annoying and hurtfull. In pain everyday no one sees that!!.. Your friend probably very worried about you. would not get upset over it. At least she's trying to understand unlike to minority. My family being one haven't got a clue?? makes me sad. Not Depressed like husband saying.

[Hidden]

And you, being the ever gracious person, who has complete ego integrity, wisely smacked her up along side the head ( mentally) until she begged for mercy, failed to see any and all comments posted by her throughout eternity~*~

[Hidden]

She certainly displayed, grandiosity, narcissism, and attention seeking behavior which is indicative of poor ego integrity. Likely the best solution would be to thank her for her extensive diagnostic skill, the time she took to respond and post the information due to her concern over your health, and then being the gracious, ego intact person you are, continue to ignore any further comments she posts in any forum.

You can't fix "dare I say it?' the bad word that belongs with S*&!d. Even the Good Book tells us not to cast our pearls before grubby animals. That means they have not the will, capacity, intelligence, understanding to discern the difference between a thing of value from a piece of garbage, or they have their own agenda apart from gems or riches, and are more interested in their own pursuits like pats on the back, self-aggrandizement. You know-what they think they get out of it by annoying you is far more important than your riches. Too them, any attention, bad or good is attention, ( attention = pearls) so the most effective ( albeit hard to do) is no response at all after you extend grace.

These are the type of people who give the mentally ill population a bad name.

Be assured, totally cutting these type of toxic people out of your circle is the most effective thing you can ever do, and even tho you must exercise a lot of restraint, eventually you will achieve your goal and then you will be at peace. It never feels good to ignore somebody or excommunicate them, but it certainly brings healing and accord to the rest of the group and that does feel good~*~