Can't carry on like this....

[DumbBlonde]

I have no idea what a breakdown may actually be, but the way I am these

days cannot be normal. 53 and look pregnant - and I have NEVER had a

belly at all..... Can't run, only walk as it feels as though I have two burning

boulders on my chest but two bras make me feel as though I am cut in two.

Generally eat very little but turn into a puddle of flesh late in the day -

or earlier, like today. Too afraid to call a Dr as I know they think I am a

time-waster and I cannot make sense any more.

Cannot think straight or hold onto a thought.

Tried T3 but then stopped - too afraid.

Already had two "panic attacks" (crying/can't breathe) and it's 10:30am.

Sorry :o(

T

[rosetrees]

You need to go to your doctor, but you need to do what I now do and write down what you want to say so you don't forget anything.

Is there a possibility that you have an ovarian cyst causing your stomach to swell? I would think an ultrasound scan should be ordered to rule out anything abnormal. Put that on your list to request, firmly but politely.

Then ask for a full blood test, and make sure they include FT3 (you'll have to insist) along with iron, folate, ferritin, Vit D, Vit B12 and thyroid antibodies.

Also ask for kidney function tests (it's common I think for hypo people to have poor kidney function).

Then head over here and do the Adrenal questionnaire adrenalfatigue.org/take-the...

If that makes you think you have adrenal problems, order the saliva cortisol test from Genova UK thyroiduk.org.uk/tuk/testin...

Thyroid and adrenal problems go hand in hand and the adrenal link is the one that is totally overlooked.

[DumbBlonde in reply to rosetrees]

Thank you rosetrees :o)

I feel as though I am stuck in a terrible loop, unable to fix any of the problems I may have - and even my attempts to address my (obvious?) health issues are going nowhere.

I had - some - blood tests back in ?June but they didn't get TFTs even though that was (as usual *sigh*) why I went. For what it's worth, my TSH has been gradually rising since 2011, now over 2.

Ferritin is/was low, as is D3.

Had an US scan in ?2012 when I asked about similar (but not the same) re. "bloating" - showed nothing.

I just don't seem able to pull myself up/together any more. The least little thing is just too hard.

(For info, it cannot be blamed on menopause - as I had nothing in the sense of a process. Everything just stopped at the end of 2012.)

[Angel_of_the_North in reply to DumbBlonde]

So get a friend or relative to buy you 2000iu D3, some high dose sublingual B12 and some type of easy iron. You can pay them back.

Find a friend who wants to lose weight and ask them to try the Paleo diet with you - it should help both of you. You'll need a lot of support and encouragement as you are really ill.

Show your best friend this thread. I know it's too hard and too much hassle, but YOU are the only person who can look after YOU.

[DumbBlonde in reply to Angel_of_the_North]

Thank you for such encouragement and you are right, these are the things I should do. I have one "friend" and no family that I could turn to. Whatever I do has to be - now, as ever - on my own.

The weight/shape issue is NOT due to an unhealthy diet, as in eating too much/the "wrong" things, but I AM a vegetarian so Paleo is not a good choice for me.

:o(

[Angel_of_the_North in reply to DumbBlonde]

Of course it's not bad diet, but sometimes changes can help. I'm a vegan, and do the vegan version of Paleo - no processed grains, no junk. Mostly whatever veg is in season. But it's much easier if you can get a friend to help you. I started by going almost 100% raw - I had a cooked dinner on a Sunday night (provided by a friend). I don't think that's sustainable for ever, but there's no cooking and very little washing up, which is a definite plus.

If you can get your friend to order supplements for you from Amazon using your account (use TUK link to give them some money), you can set up a subscription so you don't have to bother about reordering - the stuff just keeps on turning up every one or two months until you cancel.

Then you might start to feel a bit better and able to take charge a bit more.

S/he could also the T3 for you, if you haven't got it yourself. Don't be scared of the T3. I was terrified and couldn't stop taking my pulse and temperature. But I was fine.

I was so depressed before that all I could do was try to find out how to make a will so I could kill myself without inconveniencing everyone else. Luckily (perhaps?) I didn't get round to doing either Sometimes lack of motivation is positive...

People don't understand the "not being able to do anything", but if you enlist their help, they tend to be more sympathetic.

[DumbBlonde in reply to Angel_of_the_North]

Oh thank you, again.

I feel so bad when my replies are so short to such in-depth and kind advice.....

I hate to say - and am so sad to hear how bad you felt - that I wouldn't even have to make a will. I think it is impossible for anyone to be in a worse state (in every respect) than I am (which is the voice of self-pity, for which I apologise). But yes, very very nice to know that your lack of motivation meant you still being here :o)

Unfortunately, I hate the area (and house) I live in - and it is never quiet/not busy - so much that I am becoming almost a shut-in. I have to really really pull myself up to go out - and then in the car to go and....walk or on my bike.

I cannot turn to my friend for help with this. The friendship is on the wane these days due to many factors, one of which is him being male - but there are others which I shall not bore you with.

I am so grateful for what you say but I just cannot see a way through this.

[marmaris in reply to DumbBlonde]

Hello DumbBlonde can I just reassure you that I am in exactly in the same boat as yourself (Ironically now I am blonde have not changed my picture yet. Please PM if you wish and we can chat. I have exactly the same symptoms as yourself and I can tell you about my journey so far (20 years with Hypo) if you so wish. Chin up and PM me.

[Angel_of_the_North in reply to DumbBlonde]

Another thing that helped me was to wear my loosest clothes (esp underwear - nothing more depressing than tight knickers) and go out and sit on the grass (luckily we are near a park) with a book (not in bad weather). I used to sit on a cushion inside a carrier bag, but put my bare feet on the grass - very relaxing. There are very few people there during the day so it doesn't matter how long it take to lever yourself into position. I also used to listen to healing sounds (search web). Sounds like woo-woo, but worked for me.

[Hidden in reply to Angel_of_the_North]

Yep - new clothes which ... skim ... the bits that are currently more ample than you would wish (see 'new top' remark below! ;-). Again - Amazon!

[Hidden in reply to DumbBlonde]

The people on this forum are marvellously supportive. I consider several true friends.

Online shopping is a friend too, when you haven't got the energy to go slogging round the shops (neither have I!). You can get good quality supplements more easily online than you can on the High St. Including specific Adrenal supplements (which sounds like it'd be a good place for you to start - you won't make much headway until your Adrenal glands are in reasonable fettle). There are a couple of veggie ones on Amazon. Here's a link to one of them, which should also throw up the other for you to compare it with: amazon.co.uk/Jarrow-Formula...

Don't let the medicos guilt you into believing the weight you've gained is because you're doing something wrong. And this 'don't waste my time' attitude of doctors towards people suffering anguish with thyroidism is unpardonable. They do that to justify their lack of interest in and knowledge of thyroid conditions. If you want to diet and paleo isn't good for you, I found Weightwatchers' with a friend lost me more weight than I've ever managed on a diet before or since. Unfortunately that was before the full force of thyro-weight descended upon me. You need to feel better before you start dieting anyway. Baby steps. And be nice to yourself. I'm in your boat. I give myself treats cos no-one else is going to, and anyway I know what I like - some flowers, a new top, a trip to something nice (which largely involves sitting down, natch!).

It's a bit odd that your boobs should be hard and tender, post menopause?

Hasten slowly. Keep in touch.

[DumbBlonde in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much humphrey (ha - that used to be one of my nicknames for my old white horse...); you are very kind to make these suggestions.

I just simply cannot face even making a call to th e Surgery - esp. as now Dr calls you back and it is at that point I will be dismissed. (Oh, I used to be so good with words.....) Even so - and even with "evidence", it would be age/menopause/hypochondria (My notes already state me as "histrionic"), even though, as I said, I had no menopause as such (which is I am told another possible hypothyroid symptom). The boobs thing is awful and almost the worst as it stops me doing anything else, no clothes fit and I have gone from looking anorexic (not a good thing!) to buxom. With now the rest of my body joining in.

I am so sorry to still seem negative. I really appreciate your support :o)

[Hidden in reply to DumbBlonde]

An awful lot of us on here have had this 'dismissive doctor' thing. I don't go to mine now for thyroidism. And after my last brush with them just over 2 weeks ago when I needed a cortizone injection in my foot which they couldn't do for 6 - 10 weeks I don't think I shall be bothering them again! After the struggle to get some kind of appointment it is the belittling which is sooo out of order. It is my fervent belief that the NHS has lost sight of the first rule of doctoring "first do no harm".

My boobs were sore for 20 years (started on the Pill and then just wouldn't stop) until the menopause - when they stopped just like that. Which is why it struck me as odd that yours haven't. Mine also got bigger. :0( Two or three cup sizes. A doctor once tried me on Evening Primrose oil for the sore boobs. Although it ain't cheap.

Quite understandable that you don't want to call the doc - so why not get started on bucking up your Adrenals and see if that helps? It can't hurt. And while you're on Amazon, buy yourself something pretty to wear that fits. I have drawersful of clothes that make me look like a sausage about to burst its skin. Horrid!! I have bought new things that don't do that. You need new, girl!

Humphrey was my dearest cat :0) Still much missed and, as you can see, in daily use.

[DumbBlonde in reply to Hidden]

Thank you again Humphrey (great name for a cat) - you are wonderful to be so supportive.

The wait for the cortizone is horrendous!! (Had the "threat" of similar for a shoulder.) I am really not sure what the training for Dr-hood involves when it comes to actually treating and observing people these days, it is so depressing.

IF all of my problems are in fact, as I have been told, down to "depression" (rather than, as in hypo-th, a possible cause), then why don't they help me with that either.

Your words of advice and understanding are so very welcome.

:o)

[marmaris in reply to DumbBlonde]

Yes had cortisone in left foot some months ago injection. Miracle cure, also had cervical spine needle but awaiting another. My doctor offered me antidepressants the other week and said I really dont know what I can do for you. I will not take them, we are depressed because we all feel so ill, when are the EVER going to get that?.......

[marmaris in reply to Hidden]

I have heard that Siberian Ginseng is good for the Adrenals. Could anyone advise this please, I have some and I know that my Adrenals are shattered, but you see the doctors/Endos don't even bother to check all that when they put you on T3.

[marmaris in reply to DumbBlonde]

I have gone from under 10stones to 14stones. All around my middle, and hate wearing a bra but have to because of volumptuous breasts. So uncomfortable.

[MacG]

Hi, sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time at the moment. Just wondering if there is a Thyroid UK support group near you. They have a list at Thyroid UK and would post it out to you. Sounds to me like some extra support and encouragement would go a long way. Good luck with everything.

[DumbBlonde in reply to MacG]

Thank you, yes I remember seeing a note on the site a while ago.

These kinds of things never seem to come to glorious South Yorkshire, but I

will look into it; maybe it would be a help as you are quite right, some additional

support would be most welcome.

x

[marmaris in reply to DumbBlonde]

I am in East Yorkshire and could do with a support group here too.