Greetings, everyone. I am posting here as I am desperate for some insight and feedback from folks who may have experienced or are experiencing similar. This 'began' (though I say that loosely - will explain further later) on 3/1. I felt overall 'bleh.' I had then had stomach upset and nausea which led to vomiting. I went about 4 times that day, with each bathroom trip becoming increasingly more like diarrhea. Being a college student and overall just having a bad diet, I ate del taco nachos the night before. The 'loaded' nachos — worse yet, the grande-sized queso blanco loaded nachos, to be precise. I figured my stomach didn't agree with this food choice. But over the proceeding days, I just didn't feel good. The stomach pains I was experiencing were more like cramping. Not as bad as period pains, but something close to. Nausea and vomiting also disallowed me from even keeping water and gatorade down for a couple mornings. I promptly made a doctors appointment. Because I was symptomatic, it was a telehealth appointment. I explained everything to the PA who saw me. She said it was most likely gastroenteritis, but if I wasn't feeling better in a couple days, I could come pick up testing kits to bring home for stool samples. I told her I was concerned about C Diff, because I had taken antibiotics but several months prior (November). I did the tests which would check for C Diff plus another test for various bacterias. All of these came back negative. But as the days went on, I still couldn't really eat. Nothing looked or sounded appetizing, and I was afraid that anything I'd eat would result in a major bathroom adventure or a vomiting spree. I settled for BRAT diet foods, but mostly crackers and scrambled eggs. After another couple of days, I did not want to wait for my PCP to order tests and then take a week or weeks for results. Because by this time, I had convinced myself it was something awful, dreadful, and overall the worst case scenario. I went to the ER, and they did blood work, a urine test, and a abdominal + pelvic CT scan. All of which, the doctor said, were normal. This allowed me to sleep for the night. The following day, my appetite was getting slightly better, I wasn't having fevers (checked multiple times throughout the days, at random) and I wasn't having consistent diarrhea. But the first night post-ER that I tried eating a full meal again, I had to RUN home after an hour to have 3-4 diarrhea episodes. Many of these were greenish-yellowish in color. That night, I came home and took a probiotic, Florastor. This seems to have helped, I haven't had diarrhea since (I've been taking probiotics daily since then) but I still have loose stools. I wake up feeling the need to go first thing, which is new for me. Some of my stools have also had bright red spots, perhaps undigested food but I believe at least two instances were actual blood. Not a lot, but enough to notice. I am now still anxious 24/7 and, frankly, depressed. I thought I had seasonal depression, but what I'm currently growing through has heightened it. As I type, I just got done with a toilet sobbing session. I hope I'll be able to laugh at that later on. But right now it all still feels heavy. All of this was spurred and/or exaggerated by a week of having a terrible gut and no real answers as to why. Or at least no surety in the answers I've gotten.
In hindsight, I think my stools have been abnormal for quite awhile which is why I said earlier that I don't think 3/1 was the actual 'beginning' of my issues. It's not that they've been pencil thin, or narrow per se, just much smaller and looser than what's been usual or expected for me. And even after negative and 'normal' test results, my mind is still going to the "I have a horrible yet currently undetected disease." It's consuming my life and I'd be lying if I said otherwise. I am constantly trying to find answers or trying to at least find experiences that are similar to mine. But I've not yet found much that's comparable. I've WebMD'd myself into oblivion, diagnosing myself with everything from cystic fibrosis (because I wake up with mucus and post-nasal drip and think that it's now affecting my stools) to ulcerative colitis, to worse. I'm aware that I need to be on an anxiety forum, too. But in addition to that, I am wondering if this sounds like it could be an IBS flare up. I will continue seeing my doctors and updating them with my symptoms, but in the meantime I'd appreciate any feedback from the community.
Other stuff that may help: I am 26 years old. I take Sertraline 100mg per day. I take magnesium supplements, usually, to help prevent migraines but have stopped it once my digestive issues arose. I am Vit D deficient, and have just started prescription supplements for that. My overall symptoms are: abdominal cramping (relieved by defecation) sinking feeling in stomach, knots in stomach, loose/small stools, diarrhea (improved by probiotics?), nausea, suspected blood in stool, sweating palms, anxiety, depression.
Thank you in advance for reading this and any replies.
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Scalir
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Mention the red spots in you stool to your doctor. The overall condition could be IBS, or SIBO. It is amazing the number of symptoms that these conditions can produce. I also had a stomach virus in November and after lots of tests am now seeing a dietician recommended by my Gastroenterologist. I am finally getting relief from the symptoms I had. These were constant low level nausea, huge bloating, gas, constant burping, no appetite, cramps and weight loss. The dietician is helping me to follow a very strict Fodmap diet. There is a lot of info about this on the internet. You might also want to see a gastroenterologist if you are not already doing so.xx
Thank you for your reply! I mentioned the blood to both my the PA at my PCP's office as well as the ER doctor I saw. They seemed unconcerned overall, because it was a small amount and red versus a dark color, suggesting (I guess) it may have come from straining. Which i was, at times.
You had a stomach virus in November and you're just getting on the mend? I am sorry to hear that, but am happy that you're finding some solutions! If I may ask, did you have testing done to rule out other things to get it diagnosed as a stomach virus? I feel like I should be relieved that the CT came back normal, but there are those horror stories about stuff being missed or overlooked and those are the stories that are too easy for an anxious mind to focus on, unfortunately.
Thank you again for your reply, I really appreciate it and wish you all the best! XX
I had cat scans, blood and stool tests. Unfortunately I developed SIBO after the stomach virus. This was diagnosed with a breath test. So am now working with a dietician.
Thank you for getting back to me! I had all the same done. CT, labs, urine, stool. I didn't think to ask for a breath test but perhaps I will. I hope you continue feeling better and better! I'd be curious to know how it goes with the dietician... wishing you the very best!
I just reread your initial post. I am very similar with the anxiety, worrying, googling, etc. You might want to think about joining the "Anxiety and Depression" site. xx
i just saw the title of your post and felt the need to reply... the word ambiguous screamed at me because i think a similar thing has happened to me... you mentioned your anxiety. This is just my take. Something genuinely happens and its awful and then we become "sensitised " and hypervigilent towards our own digestive system... the symptoms seem to move around and you cannot quite get a hold of them and of course the fear kicks in. i highly recommend reading one of dr claire weekes books on anxiety which may help you understand this hyper vigilance thing... i cannot remember the exact quote but she explains that anything that causes so much interest to us (fear) will ensure it keeps returning !.. that obviously doesnt mean that we shouldn't have our symptoms checked by a Dr but its worth looking at that the more tense and afraid we are, the more the gut dutifully responds with symptoms.
Thank you so much for your reply! I was just reading something yesterday that was very similar (though I'll have to check out Dr. Claire Weekes' work, too). It was an article that explained the cycle of anxiety, particularly health anxiety. It went: initial symptom -> anxiety -> more symptoms from anxiety -> more anxiety and so on, in a loop. It makes a lot of sense and I've had it in the past (2011). This was when an episode of vertigo made me so anxious that I lost 40 pounds rapidly, couldn't function, had to go on independent studies as I was still in high school, went to multiple doctors including specifialists, had labs and an MRI, The works. Months later I finally saw a neuro specialist at UCLA who diagnosed it as migraine-associated vertigo. And the rest that I was feeling, all the vague and weird come-and-go sensations were anxiety. I recognize that I follow these patterns, but when something happens- when a new symptom comes about- I forget that I'm predisposed to making it all significantly worse by fixating on it to the point I get debilitating anxiety. I'm in the midst of that cycle again, but am hoping that by acknowledging it and using these chat resources (so I don't feel so alone, at least) and by getting myself back into therapy -- I hope to break out of it sooner rather than later.
Thank you so much, again, for your reply! Its very insightful and helpful to me and I greatly appreciate it. Ill also definitely be checking out Dr. Claire Weekes work. Best wishes to you!
Hay Scalir, Sorry to hear all of what you're going through, and I can relate. There is a clear link between IBS and gastroenteritis. If you add Anxiety/PTSD/Panic Attacks, into the mix then from experience I can certainly relate.
My issues started with a childhood trauma which left me with, from eight years old, a very different view on people, trust, and life. This has followed me throughout my life, even to today ( I call it: "I'm OK, just a bit broken"). So I was always nervous as a child, and everything that goes with Flight or Fight. I do not recall any issues with eating, or going to the loo.
From the ages 12 - 18 two major incidents occurred: 1) the trauma from when I was 8 return into society clearly sooner than anyone expected. 2) I contracted gastroenteritis. These are a few years apart, but with heightened stress, nerves constantly in overdrive, unless I was locked in my house, I never felt safe, and was fearful of loosing my life. Growing up with that alone is... well I can't explain it, it stripped me of my childhood, and life thereafter.
With gastroenteritis come and gone, which took at least 5 weeks to get over, my anxiety had a perfect companion, and they linked together pretty much right away. Ever since I have had issues with IBS-C and IBS-D. I am so uptight, and to be honest, frightened I am constipated for days, because I am in constant fight or flight mode. Then at any time I have a panic attack which follows IBS-D. This is very painful, takes a few trips, but I am left empty, exhausted, shaking, but what is worse is that I feel weak. This means I know I cannot defend myself, which puts my insecurities and life, into a tail spin of loop-doom. Only sleep kicks me out of it, but then I have to rebuild.
The reason I explain this, as mentioned, it is ambiguous, the nervous system, like the brain, has a say in every part of your body, and they all need the digestive system to survive. It only takes one wrong signal for it, in my case, to go to hell. I am fever like before a panic attack, for example, shaking, hot, sweaty, my whole body on full alert. Absolutely no reason for it, I am alone at home, doors are locked, windows shut. Anyway, the reasons are another diagnoses.
But, I would suggest, to anyone, early on with these symptoms to get help, and right away. It is not easy getting it through to GP's or Doctors, and sometimes you might need to scream for someone to listen. But the quicker you can resolve these two, the better it will be to treat them separately and not as a jumbled mess by throwing as many pills at you as possible, each with it's own set of side effects which can counter-act each other, and your core issues.
I truly hope you can recover from this, and have it managed. Such a young age you deserve the chance of an amazing life.
Thank you so much for your reply and for sharing with me your story. I am sorry you had to go through what you did! It sounds very similar to my experience in many regards. When I lay it out, it's easier for me to witness the pattern that I tend to go through.
I also had extreme nervousness as a child. Though, I am not sure what it stemmed from. But I experienced what I believe was separation anxiety. My mom could hardly leave myself without me feeling immense impending doom. Then at age 8-10, I witnessed my Uncle go through cancer when he was young (aged 44 at diagnosis) and ultimately succumb to it at age 46. This was my first encounter with illness and loss. Being as close to him as I was, I still feel all these years later that I never truly grieved from that trauma alone. I was so young, I did not know what certain things or emotions meant.
Then in 2006, my mom and I lost our home. We had to move in with my father. My dad and mom were never married and never really got along well, only made worse by living together. The tensions from that exploded in 2008. My mom and I became homeless, living in our car for a couple months before moving out of state to live with relatives, at a shot for a better way of living. That didn't pan out, it was a horribly traumatic move that was done at the last second. At 13 y/o, I was left behind everyone and everything I'd ever known and could only bring with me what could fit in half a trunk of a car. I started school in a new town, in a new state, with new weather (snow) to go with it. I'm born and raised in California... it was not a good fit. This is when I remember experiencing my first panic attack(s). I went into independent study and into therapy. We came back to California six months later.
Once here, I still struggled with instability at home and in school. I had no friends, no hobbies, just trying to walk through life essentially. Then at 16, I tried marijuana for the first time (NOT a good choice on my behalf!) It spurred anxiety and weird bodily sensations and the feeling I was going to die right then and there. When that was over, three months later I experience vertigo and chronic stomach issues. My family doctor at the time implied I was faking it to get out of school, other doctors couldn't find anything. It spurred an anxiety so intense it was reminiscent of my weed-smoking adventure. For months I was convinced I had a brain tumor and no one except my mother would 'take me seriously'. (My line of thinking back then). I asked for an MRI from a new family doctor, who remains my PCP to this day. He ordered me one and it came back clear. Feeling still with a lack of answers, my mom pursued an appointment with a specialist at UCLA. I eventually got into see him that summer, and after listening to everything and doing examines, he said it was migraine-associated vertigo, explaining that I did not have to have a traditional migraine headache to be a sufferer of migraine as a condition. It can come in a number of ways. Relieved by this point, I was also - 40 pounds what I was when all of it began. It had taken a massive toll, and I was in therapy (cbt) and put on sertraline, which I'm still on.
The following year after that, my mother was diagnosed with advanced staged colorectal cancer. She went through an extensive surgery and chemotherapy. By the end of that, she was considered in remission. Needless to say, though, I was terrified throughout that time. But I forced myself to be strong - for her and for myself.
In 2013, I met my husband and got married at 18 years old. My extended family was not happy, because my husband is older than I am (he was 35 at the time). But I felt 80 on the inside, so I didn't care. There was, though, a lot of 'outsider' drama around my marriage. I took it with a grain of salt. And started college immediately after leaving HS.
I did well for a long time: personally, academically, professionally. I would still have bouts of worry, usually pertaining to health and mostly the health of my loved ones. A set back came in 2014, with the loss of my lifelong best (only) friend to suicide. I did not really grieve or allow myself to. More so just struggled to 'breathe' for a good while.
Then in 2017, I had another experience with anxiety that began at the end of 2016 and crept for months before finally exploding. It came to a head when I lost a man who had been like a father figure to me (he's my half brothers father). It was swift and unexpected in February 2017. This was at the same time I had just opened a small business with my husband. I struggled for months before finally breaking through it. That summer came with another huge loss of a long time family friend. We also had to close our business by that summer.
In 2019, more losses of relatives that I was particularly fond of and close to. At the same time, my mother had to go through another surgery, chemo, and radiation for a cancerous nodule in her lung that they said was likely from the previous colorectal disease, and it had eventually turned into cancer. She struggled with the chemo this time and got pneumonia. I came home to find her past out on the couch and with a high fever. She was hospitalized. Eventually radiation (knock on wood) worked for her for that time. I stay close to her - seeing her every day and living only three miles down the road.
Now in 2021, I wake up 3/1/21 feeling 'bleh.' I've been tired for awhile before this. Lack luster. Low energy. But I go for yearly physicals and labs, all of which came back normal except for a vitamin d deficiency. I had to go to the bathroom 4-5 times that day and just felt off. Nauseous but unable to vomit at first. Admittedly, my diet hasn't been good. I'm still in school - quickness and convenience usually win. By the 2nd of the month I was hardly able to keep water down. I couldn't eat at all, nothing looked good. And I was scared to eat, in fear that it'd immediately cause a reaction from one end or the other! I saw my PCP's PA via telehealth and she said it was likely gastroenteritis. But that if I wasn't feeling better soon, come and give the stool samples. I wasn't feeling better and by this time I was crying and googling intermittently- sometimes at the same time. Scared. Is this c diff? That was my thought. The samples came back negative for c diff and some other food borne bacterias. This didn't stop my anxiety and googling. I continued to analyze every bathroom visit, every sensation. So by that Sunday night, I was convinced I had ovarian cancer. I went to the ER, they did the labs and a CT scan w/o contrast. An hour later, they told me everything was normal. I felt immense relief (*another thing, it seemed my stomach settled down just being at that hospital.) I was able to sleep that night with my reassuring results. But two days later, I had another bout of 3-4 bathroom trips that were pretty much all diarrhea. I reminded myself if something were awfully wrong, the CT scan would've found it. Few more days after that, I read online that CTs can sometimes 'miss' stuff. I read horror stories about cancers undiagnosed until it was too late. My mind started racing again. Constantly researching, fixated on my phone and computer for most of the day. Appetite still gone. Stomach in knots. Feeling bloated, pressure. Then yesterday I have back pain. Not unusual for me. But in my mind, evidence of spread of disease. Last night I was at my moms house until late. Got panicked, said I must go back to the ER. I took myself in the middle of the night. They did more urine samples and took new blood for analysis. They didn't want to do another CT scan because of the radiation, but assured me that it very likely would not miss something like ovarian cancer. (The week before they had taken a full abdominal and pelvic ct). I came home last night again feeling better. But again today I wake up with a stomach ache, telling me I have to go right away. This has been every morning since the 1st of the month. I feel bloated, and an overall abdominal pressure. I still have no appetite, really. My stools are still irregular. But im trying my best to accept that these doctors and nurses wouldn't 'overlook' something (despite the horror stories google offers). I plan on following up with my GP, and the er doctor suggested a gastroenterologist. I am also going to check into getting back into counseling.
I notice when I'm not worried about my own health, I fixate on the health of those I love. Knowing these things about myself, I am hoping will allow me to more forward with some relief on my anxiety. But thats my story. I don't know if it may resonate with some of you guys, but im guessing the overall picture will. I'm really grateful for all your time and replies - there is something invaluable in knowing I am not alone.
Best wishes and I look forward to any further chats
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