Coping with life: I have noticed that our mental... - IBS Network

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Coping with life

Roukaya profile image
11 Replies

I have noticed that our mental well being determines our physical wellbeing

I get quite lonely and even though I try I easily lose motivation

May be this is not the place to talk but taking one day at a time and accepting our situation as it is and moving forward in little steps can only help us

I wonder if anyone would like to reply

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Roukaya profile image
Roukaya
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11 Replies
FRreedman profile image
FRreedman

Maybe not accepting the situation, but accepting the temporary limitations of IBS, and using our spare time to think of, or plan for, says to ease or did ourselves of some of those problems. If you can't accept the situation you are in, it is impossible to get yourself out of it. By taking a lot of small steps, you are not taking as much risk as taking one large step, yet you will still get to the same place.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply toFRreedman

Dear Mr Freedman

Thank you for reply

I am accepting of my situation this is what makes me sad

I studied back in 2000 after and absence and partly due to personal responsibilities, I am trying to start from scratch by volunteering for AGE UK , also to start to apply for work experience placements and study for resits

It is hard when I see others work and I though this stage of my life have realised I need to start from scratch

I accept where I am but it is having the necessary strength and determination to come out of my present day situation that can give rise to anxiety

Thank you for listening

IBSNetwork profile image
IBSNetworkPartnerIBS Network

Hi there,

IBS and stress and anxiety are very much linked. We have more information about managing both on our website theibsnetwork.org

Do you have any strategies for improving your mood?

I was wondering how you might be doing.

You have to motivate yourself to break the loneliness and get involved with people or a group. This can draw you out of yourself and before you know it the loneliness is going. There is no quick fix, and it is not easy, just a simple choice.

To be lonely or be involved, motivation and interaction are the keys. Without either your going nowhere.

Rephrasing the question doesn't change the solution.

Sorry to be harsh but it is time to get motivated and solve the issue.

Best of luck.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to

Dear Cheyene13

Thank you for you for asking how I am

How are coping

I agree with what you have said

I am trying to get out of my loneliness

I volunteer for age Age UK once a week

I attend a gym and go swimming

I study and apply on a speculative basis for any one willing to offer me wotk experience in Wills and Probate

I suffer from anxiety and I totally agree I need to be more motivated otherwise how will I ever get out the situation I am

I realise that unless I act with self belief and confidence that I can find an opportunity to train and pass the exams I will remain as I am

and stagnate

I have tried joining social groups in Derby but this can involve those who are very different to me and this why I am careful who I mix with

I hope you can understand what I am trying say

How are you keeping

Kind regards

in reply toRoukaya

Totally understand. I have been trapped in this cycle for 20 years. I know all the answers and yet I still fall into the trap, time and time again. Because people are not the same as you, me or anybody else this is what stimulates us.

Of my friends and there are 1 or 2! I don't agree with a lot of what they say and stand for, but we have a single common interest which binds us and causes us to stay in touch and interact with each other. Because we are friends we tend to overlook each others short comings.

I have been struggling these past few days but I hope I am on the mends.

Stress, anxiety and just plain laziness can drive us down, each one feeds the other.

I have to sit around for days while the arthritic pain eases. This feeds the anxiety and I get lazy. Then all hell lets go.

Fortunately these days, I'm able to recognise this and start the recovery sooner than later, motivating myself before I get to the bottom of the downward spiral. Not a cure but a means to move forward until the next event. The more interaction with people I have the less it happens to me.

Cheers

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to

Dear Cheyene13

I would like to thank you for contacting me despite the pain you have experienced.

I appreciate acts of kindness

Anxiety can play havoc with our lives

I suffer at times from this and if triggered by constant worry this can lead to IBS

I think I have learnt at my age that it is important to associate with the right people otherwise I would rather be by myself

It is very important to recognise what can precipitate a downward spiral and to stop this in its early stages

I have started applying on s speculativr basis as many advertised roles are asking for those with experience

Very hard to start from scratch at the age of fifty but I remembered that you said I had already accomplished a great deal

I think it is essential we push ourselves

I know i will need to send out so many applications both locally snd regionally before anyone takes notice

I also realise we live in a world where many think of their own self interest first.

I think this why I keep trying because I really believe in what I would like to do

I did not go out today but hoprfully I will tommorow

Each step each tiny step is s step forwards

Arithritis can give you pain but try once the psin eases to make the best of your health

You are still here and never forget how far you have come

I will listen if you ever need to talk

in reply toRoukaya

Sadly my state of health is more than likely what causes the anxiety and panic attacks.

I've always been a loner and don't mind being alone. Just every now and then the thoughts of my health get me down. At these times I interact with people, which usually kick starts the recovery.

I'm driven to fill every part of my day with something productive to occupy my time, trying to forget the problems as much as I can.

In doing so I aggravate the arthritis and start the cycle all over again.

In order to deal with the pain effectively I have to trade off kidney function and lower my immune system. Not a trade off I'm prepared to take. Especially with the world health concerns today.

However at the end stage of kidney disease the game changes and becomes one of sustaining life mitigated against maintaining the kidney function.

Yes there is a kidney replacement option, but as less than 0.1 percent of all patients who seek kidney replacement actually get the chance, I don't feel lucky. Nor do I hold out hope.

These are the cards I have been dealt and the ones I play the game with.

Death is not what bothers me, it is the feeling of hopelessness, unable to get

fresh cards. Do I bluff or do I fold, the constant question.

Cheers

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya

Dear Cheyne 13

I hope you are keeping well despite the Arthritis

I am also a loner and I have been for most of our life

In our religion we also believe we should make our own efforts in life but we shall only have what is destined for us

To deal with the cards that have been dealt but to keep trying to find a better solution

I can see your worries concerning a kidney transplant which is decision not to be taken likely

My Mother was due to visit me next week but given the potential health issues surrounding the elderly and their predisposition for Coranavirus this had led to Mum postponing her journey which has saddened me

But it is better to be careful as she lives in Mauritius and as she suffers from Sinusitis at times she has a fever and nasal congestion

If she is intercepted at Dubai Airport during transit I would be immediately concerned if she were to be quarantined for 14 days

Again as an only child the immediate responsibility would fall on me

The Arab Countries are very strict as I recently did a mini Pilgrimage in Mecca at the end of this Jan and I fell ill towards my last few days and my main concern was returning back to UK as I did not wish to seek treatment in a very strict and very different country

I am please that you talk to me and I am pleased to talk as I am lonely but again I am careful of the people I interact with mainly to protect myself

Try to do the best that you can with the body that you have

I have learnt this to make the best of our situation

As I apply on a speculative basis fir a trainee role in Wills and Probate I am sad at times I have to start again but you made me realise and appreciate what I did for my Father in his last years

I hope you keep well and keep in contact

301246 profile image
301246

I agree with your small steps at a time attitude and take one day at a time, that way you won't be disappointed and get more depressed if you have a bad day. I have been seeing a clinical psychologist who was brilliant but unfortunately she was on a six months contract and has now left. I am taking Diazepam 5mg for anxiety which GP is not really happy to prescribe but it has been a life saver for me as it relaxes my stomach and eases trapped wind. My problem is slow transit constipation which I believe causes the trapped wind. I have started taking Senocalm which I believe is helping a little. I am booked in for a Lidocaine infusion at the Pain Clinic but that is 6 weeks away, had the appointment letter today although contacted them asking if I could take a cancellation if one comes up. I also agree with your difficulty in motivating yourself. I have tried to read, have a few ready to be picked up but just cannot concentrate. I have also started knitting something I haven't done before but a kind neighbour is helping me. A friend has bought me an Art Therapy colour booking and pencils and I have had a few stabs at that. Copying strategies are hard as I miss my old life and want it back again. I have been suffering for over 2 years now. Best wishes to you and I hope you find some answers to help you feel better.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya

Dear 301246

I have days of highs and lows. My Mother was due to visit as she lives overseas but I had to advise her to postpone her journey as she may be checked for her state of health before boarding . This has saddened me. I am very much alone,. I have relatives but they chose to ignore me. If I am sad and then has the habit of me neglecting my studies and job applications. I have failed my Postgraduate exams with marginal failures and I am trying to find work experience in Wills and Probate. When I hear of my Mothers worries this tips my anxiety levels.

I hope to have access to a Psychologist as I had a talk with one a week ago

Think you for reply

I wonder what your old life was and do you miss about it?

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