How do people cope with daily life?

[AnxiousAnnie27]

After another bad week I’m sat contemplating how people go about daily life with ibs.

Tomorrow I have to go to a wedding of one of my partners relatives and I’m dreading it purely because I know from the moment we leave the house my anxiety and Ibs will start. I know I’ll be stressing about where the nearest loo is. I’m panicking that I’ll have to leave the ceremony and people will notice.

The other week I had a near panic attack at my son’s football match because I needed a toilet and there was nowhere. It was horrible.

I darent go on dog walks in the country side or woods which I used to love because no toilets.

I’m totally fed up of this ruling my life. How do I take back control? I’m certain at least 50% of my physical symptoms are the product of anxiety and panic. I hate it.

[FRreedman]

I think you need to break this down into two different problems. One is the fear of a real problem , and the other is what do people think of me? Let's deal with the second one first..... Most of us warriors have decided that people take us as we are, or they are not worth bothering with. We didn't ask for our problem and we can't do much about it. It is part of us and we are part of it. The first problem has to be broken down into stages.... How far is the journey? Is the person or people I am travelling with aware of my illness? Assume the second question is yes, because it they are not they soon will be. Don't tell them in a word is me voice, but he matter of fact about it..... I may need to use the loo as a matter of urgency as I am not too well at the moment (that is all that's needed, but you can decide if you want to tell them more). Now look at the journey.... Are there any McDonald's on the jouruney, they all have toilets. Are there any betting shops? They have toilets, are there any BP petrol stations on the way? They all have toilets. Large supermarkets, most fast food restaurants, most petrol stations, hospitals and hotels. I know it is not ideal, but needs must. I have even knocked on a door, with a light on inside a house, at about 10-00pm, and literally handed the woman my driving licence, and said call the police if you want but, quickly, where is your toilet? I'm desperate!

[AnxiousAnnie27 in reply to FRreedman]

Thanks for the reply. I often try and break difficult situations down into chunks of time - I find the focus seems to help. There are plenty of stop off points on the journey, I’m more worried about when we arrive at the church. Do churches have toilets?! The anxiety of worrying about these things is generally what sets me off. I’m so sick of the fear ruining my life and stopping me from doing things.

[FRreedman in reply to AnxiousAnnie27]

Yes, if you ask, when you arrive, rather than when you want to go. You'll probably find that you won.t even use the toilets.

[FRreedman in reply to FRreedman]

In the long term, have you spoken to your GP about your anxiety and fears? Have you been referred to a GI consultant? Have you spoken to your GI team? I am sure they can advise and assist you to help you overcome your fears. You are doing a lot better than most, by realising that you can break your problems down and make them a little easier to manage, that way. Good luck.

[Cat33 in reply to AnxiousAnnie27]

A lot of churches do have toilets now as they are used for social things

Have a Google see what goes on there I really hope they do as I know exactly how you are feeling x

[xjrs]

Are you tailoring you diet or any medication to help with your symptoms? I went through an anxious/diarrhea phase and had to severely restrict my fibre intake i.e. just white rice or boiled potatoes plus some meat or fish protein and if I was lucky some cooked carrots. I'd take immodium if I was loose - could you take immodium defensively for the wedding? Fodmap diet is the way to go longer term - have you been referred to a dietician? Have you been referred for therapy for your anxiety?

[Hidden]

I severely restrict my diet. I didn't yesterday and I've had a really bad night. I've found three things have really helped me... Intermittent fasting, I break my fast with kefir and then eat plain, bland foods, no alcohol, no caffeine. I have pernicious anaemia too so get very tired but every morning, I force myself to run 6km. If my stomach is painful, running really helps, it takes the pain and cramping away, brisk walking might also help. I don't often come here as the reply to my only post wasn't particularly kind. I hope you find some respite 💞

[sweetsusie]

Have your doctor prescribe you one of these 3 meds: Welchol, Colestipol, or Questran...they are bile acid sequestrants and will stop chronic diarrhea in it's tracks! I take 2 tablets of Colestipol in the morning and 2 in the evening...never bothered with diarrhea again...and I had it so bad!!! Couldn't leave the house until late afternoon and even then if I ate anything I had to run to the bathroom...most times I made it...sometimes i did not...

[AnxiousAnnie27]

I do take Imodium as a precaution when I’m going to things like this but recently even they don’t stop it. I am seriously struggling. Today I had to use the loo in church twice and stop at a public toilet on the way. It’s not just my bowels it’s my bladder too. I’m 90% sure this is caused by anxiety attacks rather than diet. I have tried cbt in the past and it didn’t help me.

[FRreedman in reply to AnxiousAnnie27]

Okay, it's a start. You knew where to go and how to plan your journey, and how to save yourself some embarrassment, but you also were able to support your partner. Now you need to help support yourself, and the best way to do that is to ask your medical advisers to assist you. (That's why they're there). I, also feel you maybe have anxiety attacks, but, come on, let's be fair, with what you've got going on, aren't you entitled to them. One other good thing is, you've found out that Imodium used to help, but now doesn't, terrific question for your GP (WHY?).

[resident04u2]

I've been there and the truth is it's a never ending war with the symptoms my solution is to soldier up and keep on fighting its rough but remember one day you will feel better. Or at least I tell myself that you are not alone....

I have ibs and ulcerative colitis so nonstop never ending pain and trips to bathrooms. Idk keep your head up and keep on fighting its all that can be done otherwise I think about how much my quality of life has dropped.

[IBSNetwork Partner IBS Network]

Sorry to hear you're struggling. We have info on stress and anxiety here theibsnetwork.org/stress/

[Carer_49]

I have a similar problem, I find researching the journey and destination helps. I have rung Vicars and Priests before now to ask about toilets, they have all been very understanding with only a brief explanation of my issues. They can even advise where in the church to sit for the fastest and most discreet route to the loos. On the journey, I will always know where the nearest public loo is, be it McD, shop, services, coffee shop etc.

Satnav’s can be really useful for this. Especially if you have favourites list that can be manually edited.