Cant cope anymore

Hi everyone.  Im not posting for advice but more to vent my frustration to other people who understand.  

I've had a really bad day today, in fact my flare up has been really bad for the past 3 weeks and ive not been symptom free since before Christmas.  Ive had this ibs for 13 years and over that time ive probably only been symptom free for about a year in total split  to an odd month here and there. 

Im feeling that ive just about had enough.  I cant cope anymore feeling like this eveyday. I feel as though I cant see anyway out of this miserable existence and that is quite depressing.  

Im not looking for sympathy. I am a counsellor myself and work with people who suffer from addiction.  I really value this support forum for advice and being able to offload to people who understand.  Share the feeling to create the healing.

Im usually quite a bubbly person but I have dragged myself to work everyday and I have realy struggled the past few weeks. I suffer in silence as I dont want to moan to everybody. I pretend that I am ok when inside I feel absolutely terrible.  I got home today and just cried for ages at the sheer despair that I feel rigjt now.

I feel that I have tried absolutely everything possible over the years but with no permanent success. 

I am currently on the scd diet which is quite harsh. Ive been on it for 5 days now. I've got 4 bottles of symprove to try but am reluctant to try at the moment due to the bad flare up.

I suppose I will just get up tomorrow and carry on, keep going, trying to find a cure, like we all do, hoping that tomorrow will be better than today. 

23 Replies

  • Have you tried the alkaline diet smoothies?  I've found that they have really helped me, I'm actually enjoying life again and food isn't a minefield anymore.

  • Sorry you feel this way. I get ok with Symprove but whatever you do , stick to it for 2 weeks as it can take this long to get back on ballance. It does sound like there is still something that gets to you. You have to be strong and keep going as it will come through again.  

  • Empathize,personally find a hot water bottle,ginger and mint tea,good book or good laugh helps with a spot of long breathy sighs.there is always chocolate and whiskey in warm water with a little sugar

  • There is so much research linking stress with flare ups. Have you tried mindfulness meditations each day? The is an app called Headspace which is real good - you get 10 free days to try so you don't have to commit. Sounds as though you have quite a busy and stressful life and keeping it all inside makes it worse. 

  • Hi there Lainy 01,

    Go back to your G.P.and tell him exactly how you feel he may sign you off for a little while 

    you would then get something to help you over this difficult phase you are going thro do not just carry on as normal wont do you any good.


  • Sorry to hear you've had enough Lainy01. 

    The thing that gets me about IBS is how totally unpredicatable it is, how you don't know where the corners will come or the current darkness will see a return to light. In the same way you don't know when you will be hit by such a dabiliting wave of nasty. My sadness in watching my 18 year old daughter battle with IBS is also my comfort.  I'm not saying she finds it easy but she doesn't fight it. She gave up her education, she now makes jewelry from home when she is feeling up to it other days she lies in bed with a hot water bottle, calming music and cries. Both from pain and frustration. She has accepted that this is her lot. I know you weren't looking for advice but I do know how you are feeling and it will get better, not permanently, but it will get better. For now it soumnds like you need some time to let your body do what it needs to do and clear your head for that. Venting here is perhaps your way of accepting it. So continue to vent. You are amongst those who share your frustration. Sending you love xxx

  • Hi have you tried a probiotic capsule    I take 2 daily dairy free acidophilus plus. It seems to help a bit xxx

  • I just recommended this as well! I found a cold pressed organic sour Kraut that is filled with probiotics and it has done amazing wonders for me way better than any pill! Unfortunately they only sell to the farmers market and wholefoods here because it's cold pressed.  They sell the brine/juice alone as's amazing!! My tummy finally has one friend after almost 40 years! Probiotics in a natural form if available is the most potent way. That gut flora will kill you! Not saying that's the only issue we have but it's a good start! Sometimes I wonder if stress causes that flora to get outta whack

  • Hi Lain01, I can completely understand how low you are feeling and I am know you are not alone.  We all reach a stage where life becomes intolerable and you reach a point where you hit a brick wall and can't seem to find a way to cope any longer however strong you are, we are all human and can only stand so much. 

    I have only suffered from IBS for a couple of months or so and it's getting me down but my worst problem is long term chronic migriane for the last 40 years which totally messed my working and social life up.  Without going into too much detail, i actually spend 3 months of every year in bed if I add up all the days I am out of action and the days where I am able to function are hard because I still feel so tired and lethargic due to the medication I have to take.  I cannot tell you how low and desperate I have felt and like you I never let the world know how "down" I feel.  I try and put on a bright face to the world and pretend I have a normal life.  I never tell anybody how bad things are as I don't think they would believe me or think I am a hypocondriac so I keep it all hidden.  The only time people find out is when I have to cancel things or they phone and I am in bed.  I don't wish for much, just to wake up and feel well each day would be marvellous.  I spend my life watching other people leading theirs which is very dis-spiriting whilst I crawl in and out of bed.  I am a very strong character which is a good thing but nevertheless I still suffer inwardly which I suppose doesn't help the situation as we are suppressing our emotions and that's not always a good thing.  I just wanted you to know you are not alone and I can appreciate how you are feeling. Thank goodness we have the strength to carry on.  Bless you and hope today is better for you than yesterday. 

  • So sorry to hear how bad that you are feeling. You must find it so difficult to carry on with work too. I am fortunate, its only stomach problems that affect me. Hope that you are able to get help somehow.

  • I know you arent looking for advice but I'm going to give it anyway on the off chance that it might help!

    If you're a councillor you've probably heard of mindfullness-style meditation and thought process. I CANT RECOMMEND IT ENOUGH! My IBS and anxiety disorder/s are so severe i cant go to work or study at the moment, mindfullness is what gets me through those beyond difficult days. I know im preaching to the converted here but try it if you havent, we're all learning still no matter how long we've been suffering for. Even counsellors need support sometimes, eh? :))

  • i just realised my mum has also replied to this thread! sar2262 😂

  • HI 

    I've been there and really understand your despair. I know you said you're not looking for advice but low dose Amitriptyline (10mg) and the low FODMAP diet have made the difference for me. The latter can be very confusing as I've discovered that it's not simply what you eat but quantities and combinations as well - try the Facebook group  IBS & The Low Fodmap Diet set up by Suzanne Perazzini - she's a mine of information and support. Though my IBS hasn't been "cured" I'd say it's around 80% better - many more times symptom free than suffering for the last year or more....

    Please don't despair - there are solutions even if not simple

    My very best wishes Hilary

  • PS These small quotes from above mentioned Suzanne have really helped me see the light.... "Even one high Fodmap food or two low Fodmap foods together from the same group or too much of a low Fodmap food will cause symptoms. Once you understand these basics, it all makes a lot more sense and will no longer be confusing. Amounts, combinations and accumulation are the fundamentals you have to get right." and "I am sorry but grazing is not good for us. We need 2.5 to 4 hours to pass before eating again or the cleansing motility wave doesn't have time to pass through." (She recommends 5 smaller meals a day spaced out so that not too many FODMAPS are eaten at any one time and not added to too soon) Hope this makes sense.... :)

  • Hi Lainy, really sorry that you are suffering so much - it's so helpful that we can all vent our frustrations on this forum as we all understand each other.  I have read other posts from people who are suffering much more than me and that actually makes me realise that I am actually lucky.  On saying that I am still looking for something that will help me, rather than spend loads on different remedies I have been researching the internet and looking on this forum for some time now to see what's out there.  Someone on a post here mentioned about Mary Roe, Mary deals with Food Intolerances and although I am unable to physically see her for an appointment she has some self help fact sheets that you can order off her website and you slowly work through the food on her lists i.e. eliminating some foods and reintroducing to see which affects you.  I am going to order the factsheets and start the elimination process - it seems that cow's milk isn't good for you at all so that will be the first thing to go.  Anyway, her link is below:


    Best of luck and hope you get sorted very soon.

    Take care and you are not alone.

  • Hi Lainy01,

    Just thought you might be interested in my reply post to Jilly20 a short while ago. Here post was on living with IBS and a stressful job.

    You have said it all and I can feel and relate to all you say.  I hope writing it in your post helps, I think it will help , it something that I would never have done years ago. I kept it all to myself and it just bottles up and becomes more stressful.    

    Good luck and I hope things improve.


  • Thank you everyone for listening to me. It really does help. Im not feeling as bad as yesterday and I will look back over the advice to see what else I can try. 

  • I've suffered with IBS since I was very young say 8 or earlier, I'm 43 now and no comfort with any kind of meds plus who wants to take them! I decided to try probiotics especially when I started to get bacterial infections due to my gut issues. At first I read all I could...and what a plethora of information I came across! I read so much I began to think that even taking probiotics vwas going to be to difficult and costly, as what I read stated you needed this and this and this to poke holes in head was spinning! I thought okay well I'll try the best pill bought probiotics I can find. I noticed a very small change so I continued desperate for any relief! Then I came across some organic cold pressed sour Kraut called Krazy Kraut only made here and they also offered the juice from the press called the brine...i noticed that it had a crazy amount of probiotics in it so I thought this has to be better than what I'm getting and sure enough it was!!! My bacterial infection cleared and my gut pain calmed! I also noticed that if I would get that burn I'd go and drink the juice/brine and it would soothe it. It's not a cure all but it sure has been a life saver! It helps with my digestion as well. I can not empty myself naturally or it's very rare but this has helped the empty process along, it doesn't make me go but helps with the digestion and gets the food to move down lower, previously the waste would stay in my upper bowels. 

    Anyway I hope this helps you or someone out there suffering with the same. I know your pain and I am truly sorry you are suffering with this.  Take care

  • Hi Lainy, Please don't let this terrible illness get you down so much, I know just how you feel, it is tiresome day after day for a life time just struggling to get your tummy well to go out the door each morning. I used to be in and out of the loo half a dozen times every morning with diarrhoea, always late for work and feeling ill for half the day. I then started taking Probio7 tablets and Regucol powder, both from Holland & Barrett. They are amazing, work so well for me, and I thought i'd never have a near normal life again, spent my life revolved round toilets and panic. But now my symptoms are much, much better, I can't recommend them enough, please give  them a try, I guarantee you won't look back. Good luck my lovely, and keep fighting the battle, you will overcome the down times. xx

  • I feel your pain having had bad stomach for over 30 years,  im 47 now. Particularly bad week and feeling shit today. I absolutely hate it. I'm also going through the menopause which makes it worse.  Keep going hun x

  • Menopause sucks.... Just sayin. But it will get better once you're on the other side. Just wanted to throw that out there.

  • HI

    So sorry your having rough time. day after day ibs really wares you dowmn. iv had ibs for 20 years.never been free of it for more than a month. think you need to be signed off work for a week at least. youv probably tried most things like me. im finding low fibre diet, amytrpline, colofac cut back on tea, no nuts ,onions, sultanas, prawns, fruit peeling. hope something here helps you. no work today , did golf , saw family etc. great day free of ibs. usually have ibs 8-10 days a month.

    god bless


  • i finally got my IBS under control, and have now had back/shoulder/neck pain since Christmas Eve. You're certainly not alone in your misery. I find myself going back and forth between anger and sadness. I am under a great deal of stress right now... I guess it's going to come out somehow. Don't give up!!! 

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