Worried they won't take me seriously

[Sammy987]

Hi.

This is going to sound so daft but I need to talk on a community who may under stand what it's like.

I have finally got an appointment booked with my ED service on 29.04.17. This so now my 3rd referral over 8 years.

Over the last week I have hd real encouragement from my husband to try and put on weight. I've started to eat alot more and even challenge some more fattening foods that cane from a nutritional consultant about 7 weeks ago.

I'm just really worried that between now and my appointment next week because of all the extra food I've been eating/will eat I will gain even more weight and they won't take my ED seriously.

Last time I weighed myself I was around 7 stone 9. My bmi was around 17.9. I'm worried I've probably reached a bmi of 18 or even 18.5 so effectively as this is in a healthy range they won't help me.

Problem is Im so unwell in my mental self that if I don't talk to someone in will be in this vicous cycle forever.

It's ok consuming these foods but I don't want to live with the guilt or constant need to exercise excessive after eating a biscuit or something.

Just want some advise and reassurance as I'm worried I will cancel the appointment to avoid disappointment/embarresment

[Smarsh]

Hey, I know exactly what you mean. I started the referral process in September and immediately regretted it for exactly the reasons you are talking about. My BMI is about 19 now and I felt like a fraudulent ED sufferer at the time, not being underweight, but I knew things still weren't okay in my head.

Long story short, after a few confirmations that it was the right time to try getting help again (and a longish wait on a list) I've had 6 sessions now and it has been really helpful. The first few weeks were tough as I felt like I had no right to be there, but you just have to put that stuff to the back of your mind for the sake of your mental health.

Those therapists are there for YOU, and they will have help people of all different shapes, sizes and stages of recovery before. Celebrate that you are already on the right track with weight, and be honest and real about where you are at (and where you want to be) with your mind.

Love and encouragement x

[Sammy987 in reply to Smarsh]

Thanks so much my lovely . That message has really heled. I will keep using that to remind me xxx

[Smarsh in reply to Sammy987]

Glad to help. Let us know how it goes xxx

[crazycrossstitcher]

Well done for the weight gain - glad your husband is so supportive. Don't worry - you've got the appointment and just tell them how you feel underneath it all - an ED is not just about the weight level but all the thoughts and feelings, habits, exercise etc - no good putting the weight on and exercising it off - feeling guilty etc and a true ED specialist will recognise this and help you to deal with the emotions. Be honest - tell them how you feel - and please, please do not stop eating just to keep your weight at a certain level to get treatment.

[missaw]

Well done for initiating the referral and for being brave to post this. You are already on the right track and you are stronger than you think. Allow yourself small steps to recovery. Attending the appointment is just a small step in the right direction, you've already made progress and can continue doing so with support and encouragement. The staff are not there to judge you, only to help. I wish you the best of luck xx

[Sammy987 in reply to missaw]

Thanks so much. Terrified about getting weighed. I've been eating alot more lately to try and continue to make positive choices. Xxx