I feel ashamed, when people see me eating

[Lirali]

Hello! I used to have an ED in my adolescence, but now I mostly healthy and don't starve myself or try to lose weight. However I still feel ashamed eating in front of people. I feel like almost everybody count how much I eat and afraid that people can find me gluttonous. I understand that this kind of thoughts are irrational, because I am not overweight or not even close to this(my BMI is about 18-19) and people never make any comments about how much I eat, but I can't nothing to do with myself. I always loose weight, when I don't live alone and share house with someone else. How can I get rid of this kind of fear? Thank you in advance.

[Hidden]

Hi! again! Well that's a horrible way to feel ~ most people are NOT judging you ~ they might sense/feel your discomfort and only feel sorry for you 😨 Anyone who is judging you is probably only you 😤 Everyone is there own harshest critic ~ have you thought it might be a "hang over" from your Anorexic Days?? You need to squash that voice before it gets a hold. Time for therapy??? If you do not look after yourself with out a housemate, please try to always have one 🌺

[Lirali in reply to Hidden]

Hi and thank's for reply. As I tell you previously, I just listen to my body and don't count calories e.t.c. The thing is I indeed have a really good apetite and eat quite a lot, more than most people I know. I usually have 3 regural size meals and two snaks a day. I really afraid, that people can find me a terrible glutton, if they get know how much I really eat. I understand, that most people just don't care, but I stil feel a bit guilty. Excuse my writting a lot of stupid questions and thank's one more time.

[CatLife]

Hi Lirali,

I'm new to this site but have just seen your post and had to respond. For a few years as a young teenager, probably until my very early 20s (I'm 30 now) I had the exact same issue with food and people seeing me eat. I don't know if it was just teen anxiety or if I was on the verge of an eating disorder that I somehow managed to control myself without getting really ill. All I know is I was petrified of anyone seeing me eat in case they thought I was fat/greedy for eating. The only time I felt comfortable to eat was with my close friends and family, but even then I still felt uncomfortable at times. I didn't starve myself but I would often go for hours and hours without eating to the point where my stomach was in so much pain as I was so hungry...I used to just chew on chewing gum all the time! I would sometimes eat in private, maybe by locking myself in a bathroom or something but this would only be a chocolate biscuit or something. I can't honestly remember how or why this behaviour started but I know I wanted to be skinny (even though I've always been a healthy weight so didn't need to worry) and so I associated people seeing me eat with them thinking I was fat. My family never noticed it as I would eat with them. I eventually managed to get over it and now I can eat whatever I want, wherever I want, but for a while I thought this was going to affect me for life.

Just wanted to share my story with you, as I never really heard of anyone else suffering with this fear before.x

[Morgana2]

Lirali

i know your post is 2 years ago.. but i read now. hope you re doing better

anyway...

i understand cause i feel the same way

yesterday at my birthday party we were joined at the table, i was so hungry and eating but, somehow... i felt that my family was watching how much i was eating. i felt so anxious and suddenly that disgusting feeling was almost unreal (in a bad way of course). so after that i had a very bad stomach ache but not for the amount of food but for the feelings i got...

im also skinny. but i cant help feel comfortable eating in front of other people (even if its family)

[Lirali in reply to Morgana2]

Morgana2, thank you for sharing your story! I'm really sorry to hear about your struggling. It's been two years since I asked this question and thankfully I am much better now and feel quite Ok eating in front of people. And I really want to support you. I believe in you and that you'll also overcome this problem! I wish you good luck and good health!

[Morgana2 in reply to Lirali]

Im soooo glad you are doing better

Hope you tell me how you went through it. it would be helpful yo me

My Mail [e-mail]

God bless you

[Morgana2]

Lirali

i know your post is 2 years ago.. but i read now. hope you re doing better

anyway...

i understand cause i feel the same way

yesterday at my birthday party we were joined at the table, i was so hungry and eating but, somehow... i felt that my family was watching how much i was eating. i felt so anxious and suddenly that disgusting feeling was almost unreal (in a bad way of course). so after that i had a very bad stomach ache but not for the amount of food but for the feelings i got...

im also skinny. but i cant help feeling uncomfortable eating in front of other people (even if its family) :/

[Nick455]

I’m 14 I feel the same way at lunch I’m embarrassed to eat