Recovering ... I think

[Rubie1996]

I've been eating more and I think gaining weight (I don't weigh myself anymore as an attempt to recover) and even though I've been feeling down about weight gain and been struggling with depression I feel like I'm starting to really recover. I've decided I actually want to break free and have realised that if I do gain weight it won't be as awful as I once thought... However I'm still constantly counting calories and thinking if I eat okay today I won't do tomorrow. But I'm going to keep going 😊

💓

[crazycrossstitcher]

Fantastic - keep going - your worth it. Its so hard to turn off the automatic calorie counter - but I'm sure as you gain weight and become healthier and stronger you will find the need to do this gets less. I too don't weight myself - just have a monthly review by nurse at the GPs to monitor how things are going - might be an option for you if you want to check in with someone. I found it helpful as I felt I was gaining masses of weight which scared me - but discovered the reality was it was going on amazingly slowly!

Good luck - what an encouragement to us all.

[Rubie1996 in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

Thankyou very much 😊 yeah it's so hard not to automatically count calories also today I was watching music videos and noticed how thin and beautiful a singer looked and it made me feel guilty and like I should restrict which is so silly of me... But now I'm recognising that some of my thoughts are unhealthy I suppose that is part of recovery 😊

Yes that is a good idea, I'm still being seen by a CBT professional at the eating disorder clinic and will have check ups with the dietician.

Thankyou 😊 x

[crazycrossstitcher in reply to Rubie1996]

Thinness doesn't equal happy and healthy - and it is also easy to look at someone and think they are so much thinner than we are - but the reality is we are actually even thinner than they are - comparing all the time is part of the problem - we need to stand firm in our own identity and our own bodies - we're all differently made and differently shaped - its time we loved our bodies as they are - and we're not just a "body" - there's a whole lot more to a beautiful person - so be that beautiful person you were created to be - whatever size or shape that person becomes - but be happy in yourself.

[joanna21]

That is great Rubie, keep going. There is more to life that worrying about weight . I hope you are finding some nice fun things to do which will strengthen your resolve to stay strong and beat this awful disease. xxx

[Rubie1996 in reply to joanna21]

Thank you very much 😊 I am so determind to do this , sometimes it's still very hard because I spend most my time alone at university so things can be a bit overwhelming but I'm keeping going 😊

[joanna21 in reply to Rubie1996]

I have see first hand how hard it is to recover so I feel so proud of you . I hope that you have some support from friends & family. Also pen friends can be good too if are both trying to recover you can support one another xxx

[Rubie1996 in reply to joanna21]

Thank you very much 😊 I feel quite sad today because I realised I've put more weight on ... However I keep telling myself this is a good thing. And that is a good idea thankyou 😊 xxx

[Sammy987]

Hi Rubi. Did you get my message about a pen friend. I to am going g through recovery and would love to be in touch with someone who can relate to the things I am finding hard and to support each other.

Sam xxx

[Rubie1996 in reply to Sammy987]

Hi Sam,

Sorry I didn't get your message, that sounds like a nice idea it would be so good to have someone who can relate whose also going through recovery😊

Xxx

[Sammy987 in reply to Rubie1996]

Fab. How are you feeling? Xx

[Rubie1996 in reply to Sammy987]

Today not so great to be honest, I haven't been able to see mum on mothers day unfortunately , but apart from that I'm okay thankyou for asking, getting there how are you doing ? Xx

[Sammy987]

Oh no

My husband didn't get to see his eother as we have all been away with my family as it's my 4th bday next week. Dreading it. It's been really hard these last few weeks as I am reaching an age where I want to start a family. I can't do that in the state I am in now. Hiw far into recovery are you hun.? Xxx

[Rubie1996 in reply to Sammy987]

I'm sorry to here that, although happy birthday for when you're birthday arrives (or if it's already been now 😊) ah yes, that is understandable that sounds like it must be hard for you. When I get nervous about the possibility of starting a family being affected, I always like to think that things will hopefully not be like this forever and that one day I'll be able to 😊 And I got officially diagnosed in December I think so about five ish months... Didn't realise it was that long until now 😊 how long has it been for you ? Xxx

[Sammy987]

30th I mean!!! Not 4th lol.xx