Calories amd content of food make me anxious

[Sammy987]

Hi.

Does anyone else suffer wit anxiety around foods and the amount they are having.

I have to put on weight but im finding it really hard to accept that the founds I need to eat are high in calories and fat.

For example I noticed yesterday that my bowl of musili has 28 grams of carbs in. Thats not including the fruit and honey I out on with it and the peanut butter on toast after. My ED males me feel really bad so there is little enjoyment when I have it.

Then after I focus on the numbers and may plan in more physical activity or reduce calories later in the day.

I'm not sure if my eating habits are normal or as to someone else I'm just plain greedy .

Again I'm fighting the ED but it's being so persuasive atm it's a constant battle.

It's very easy to give in when you feel that bloated amd full of food from the day before as I'm frightened of how il cope eating anything else on top of that...or if is ok to do so. I feel so alone. C

[Prettythings1]

I totally understand have u tried drinking peppermint tea to help with the bloating it could help!

Remember food will make u feel full thats the point just keep going x

[windupbird in reply to Prettythings1]

Agree, peppermint tea is a bit of a life saver.

[windupbird]

I am unsure if my advice is good advice, I don't know if I'm going against a diet plan a professional has given you, but I would like to try and help you feel better.

Would it be worth spreading the caloric intake out a bit? To make it less overwhelming and less triggering?

So eating the same amount, but setting a time a little later in the morning maybe an hour or so after the muesli to have the toast and peanut butter, or having two smaller meals instead of one really big one? Fitting calories into your daily routine, packing snacks to eat during a commute, having a glass of milk instead of water.

Can anyone with a bit more knowledge/experience tell me whether this is a bad idea?

[jfk71 in reply to windupbird]

Hi I have been advised to do it that way. Trying to eat the right amount of calories, fats,carbs and proteins in smaller sittings. As you say cereal and toast with peanut butter but maybe an hour later rather than at same time as I couldn't deal with the amount of food and its content from calories ,carbs content,fats at all,let alone in one meal content. Its still a massive challenge doing it in small breaks but its more manageable for me too xx

[Sammy987]

Thanks Al for your comments

[Sammy987]

Thanks guys. Although I think it's also really important to challenge the increase in food du ring each meal as our bodies will never get used to it. I think alot of the time it's the ED getting to me. Yes its uncomfortable bit I'm not going to die for being constipated for 3-4 days...but I will dont if I don't eat!!!

Surely it's a normal thing to eat cereal and toast for breakfast and I want to get back to normality

I guess I'm hoping that in an ideal world I will start to have a better digesion when my body knows thst it's at a healthy weight. Although I think I'm there, I have a long way to go. My periods still havnt returned. I will.just have to keep on going .

Just need all your support.

I hope the relief will go tomorrow and I won't stI'll be constipated! !! Xx

[crazycrossstitcher]

Are you getting any support/counselling - suggest if not you need to seek some help to discuss these issues - they are common to all of us with EDs - and the habit of looking at every ingredient - the calories etc - and exercising to compensate for intake is really hard to break - but it is the ED telling you these things - you need to nourish your body - ABC have a really helpful website and a dietician who can help.

[Sammy987 in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

Hi

Thanks. I've had counciling in the past and maybe I need to see someone gain who specialise in ED but I've been referred twice already and I'm just worried that if I go back again they won't feel like I want to get better. If I didn't before then why would I now?

I ask myself what would it take to realise that this life is just not fun. ..

The exercise is definetly an issue. My job is quite physical but even that's not enough. When I get home I'm up and down the stairs bring clothes and then at weekends I just can't rest either.

Xx

[crazycrossstitcher in reply to Sammy987]

Not being able to rest is a common problem - I've really had to work on this - and its amazing how spending an evening in front of the TV - not bobbing up and down all over the place - is really enjoyable! Don't feel you can't ask again for treatment - do it asap while you are positive about it. I found that by setting my self the target of a set amount of exercise each day (reducing this gradually from the previous week) and keeping a record so that I didn't "cheat" really helped - I've actually halved what I used to do and, amazingly - the weight doesn't pile on - even with my increased diet which ran in parallel. Good luck

[Sammy987 in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

What your saying is so true, and exactly what I to would say to someone who is in my shoes. But strange isn't it when we feel as ourselves we don't deserve the same happines.

I will get there.

Did u try any natural treatments for when you were bunged up

I've got prunes. Out ready to add to my musili tomorrow

I often give it a we or two and then give up...and worry about the extra calories the prunes add. So compensate other thinges in the day

Hence the cycle of being back to the start!!! Xxx

[crazycrossstitcher in reply to Sammy987]

Pro biotic yoghurts might help - but sometimes its about getting the balance back in your diet - try the ABC helpline/contact on website and see if their dietician could give you some pointers.

[Sammy987 in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

Hi. Interesting again to read your post. My husband tells me that it's exercise that's a big trigger in my ED and for relapse when I eventually recover.on average I take the 10.000 step challenge.i sometimes find that I am walking aimlessly with no purpose or taking much longer route to where I need to go. How much exercise were I doing to compared to what you do now

I just want exercise to be fun.not a chore or running up and down the stairs all evening because I feel I've eaten to much..

Or before dinner to feel I need to do some physically activity to deserve what I am about to eat

What I would do to just be able to relax after a meal cooked by my husband with been a bit indulgence.

And to then sit and cuddle up watching a film istead of pacing around finding things to do forburning of calories.

Any thoughts

[crazycrossstitcher in reply to Sammy987]

Your husband is so right - like you I balanced (and still do to a certain extent) eating and exercise - hence the lack of weight gain. It was really hard - and painful mentally - to cut back - but it is the only answer - I have now trained myself to sit and watch TV - to stitch away or make cards in an evening - and it is amazingly freeing and so much more fun than running around "doing pointlessly"! I've cut all extreme exercise - and gentle walking has replaced most things - a 20-30 minute walk in the day is sufficient - and amazingly I'm not misses "blobby" - which was the picture I had in my head. Its surprising how many calories you need just to function. Try cutting back slowly - talk to your husband if you can about the mental struggle - I'm sure he'd love to sit and cuddle you in front of the TV in an evening - why not give it a go? See if you can get some counselling to support you in this - I found having "permission" from my counsellor to eat snacks and not run round like a headless chicken afterwards - was helpful - and once it became part of a routine I didn't need the support as much.

[Sammy987 in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

Thanks so much

I know. I am going to call my GP tomorrow and get a referral. I've done private therapy before but it's so expensive. Tbh ts discusting the NHS don't have .ore access to support for ED. I know that my illness is serious when this morming I've Woking up with a swollen eye (must be a reaction to something?) And because of that I have decided that walking in the rain is my only way of coping. ..bit it's not as the eye is still there and now I'm just exhausted and wet!!!!! I feel so ugly atm . I often tell my husband I don't know why he is with me. It's like Im ashamed of being me!!!!

I would love to hug my husband at night rather than be up and down than he stairs but the voice is so strong. Atm u find it hard to watch a film coz I can't focus on it.

Do u mind me asking if you are .arrived? I have q good support around me though mee and my older sister tend to have history which I thanheohink comes from when I was alot younger. I'd like thanheohink explore this more as maybe it's a significant reason as thanheohink why I think I'm not worthy of happiness and I'm very Jelous of what she has.

Xx

[Sammy987 in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

Sorry predictive texts!!!! Lol

[Sammy987 in reply to Sammy987]

Evwrth4sounds so trust what you are saying and me to would be saying exactly the same to someone if going through the same thing. Strange when it's yourself though and you feel that you don't deserve the same healing hey .

DI'd you have to use any natural way to help with yur constipation? I have out prunes in for my musili breakfast tomorrow

Problem with me is in don't give it enough time to work. 2 weeks and I give up. Xx

[windupbird]

The digestive system adapts, we all know this from previous experiences changing our diets. It will adapt again, it just needs time and regularity. Your body and metabolism will be a bit intolerant at the moment but it will figure out how to deal with your new diet.

Constipation is the absolute worst. But you won't die from it. As long as you're not in pain you can be confident that it will pass eventually. If you are in pain, or it persists for more than a week, I would talk to your doctor or a chemist, or call 111 if you're in the UK, especially if you're in pain.

Stress and tension can be big contributing factors to constipation. Relaxation and breathing techniques can help, lying on the floor does wonders, and I use a few adapted yoga poses to help relieve constipation and bloating. Again, peppermint tea and I religiously eat bananas to help digestion.

I soak my muesli over night, which makes it nice and soft. I put it in a tupperware or a covered bowl with plenty of milk and leave it in the fridge overnight, adding more milk in the morning if necessary. I add mashed banana to it too, and I like that any nuts and dried fruit in the muesli go really soft as well. I find this makes it a million times more digestible and doesn't cause me constipation, quite the opposite. Especially if it's heated up.

Chopped up dates are a really good one to add to the overnight muesli. They are sweet, full of calories as well as high quality nutrients. And they are famous for making you poo, but they work best when the proteins/fats (I think) in the milk get to work on them first.

[Sammy987 in reply to windupbird]

Hi wind up.

No I don't suffer any pain. I try and remind myself its my body just holding onto food because it needs it and my digestive system will speed up once my body is rest assured that I will feed it regularly

It's strange tho as I can go on holdiday and not go for 19 days...but when im back it happens. It's like my body is programmed for these vacations..but maybe it's because I drum it on my mind for so long.

That breakfast sounds lovely and I suppose due to the calorificintake u won't need to hve the toast

Mon-Fri I could have this and then at weekends try some ting different to keep me challenging other cereals

Do you add more milk and then heat it up? I may need a bit of honey to sweeten it up a little

I also have a habit if measuring things but all I need to do I'd make sure I'm having a good portion...and give it time to work x

[windupbird in reply to Sammy987]

Yeah if I'm heating it up I usually add a extra milk in the morning, heating makes the muesli soak up even more milk so I find it necessary.

Honey is of course delicious, and can be added the night before. I find with a mashed banana (RIPE bananas are far superior in every way) and raisins or dates it's plenty sweet. You can add greek yogurt to it too. Anything you fancy really its fun to experiment.

I find the routine of preparing my breakfast the night before helpful in itself, I don't don't get caught out in the morning when I'm often stressed anyway.

It is still very filling, and easy to over do it and feel like you need a lie down afterwards. But so dense in calories you shouldn't have to fill yourself to bursting in order for the numbers to stack up.

I'm glad you like this idea, my friends think it's weird. Hope it helps the constipation!

[Sammy987 in reply to windupbird]

Do u add the banana night before x

[windupbird in reply to Sammy987]

Yep, I do the banana the night before. I mash it straight into the container I'm going to use. I like to mix it all in but you can layer it and have all the banana on the bottom if you prefer the variety.

It won't go brown, as long as it's covered and in the fridge.

I very often do nothing extra to it in the morning, I just grab it and eat on the train to work.

[Sammy987 in reply to windupbird]

Thanks my loverly. Havnt quite done this but I have prepared prunes with my musili tomorrow.

I get anxious when it doesn't work tho. Normally after a week or 2 I give up!!!

I hve to admit the added calories with the prunes makes me anxious but deep down know that actually thus shud be a good thing. No doubt il end up cutting my toast out in morning to compensate xx

[windupbird in reply to Sammy987]

The anxiety is understandable and expected. Addressing way you feel and think is as much, if not more a part of recovery and reaching 'normality' as diet and physical health. It's important to work hard on both.

Personally I find changing the way I think a million times harder than changing what I eat. I find it takes a lot longer, and the temptation to cheat in my mind is a lot greater. But I have come to realise it will be the difference between my eating disorder ruining the rest of my life, or not. It's by far the most painful struggle and the battle that a big part of me doesn't want to fight in.

If you can still have the toast you will have achieved something so much greater than simply consuming calories.

[Sammy987]

I've done it. But now it's about not burning of through exercise and letting the ED bully me into it. Which would just be pointless for all my hard work eating it.

I had my musili with prunes as not sure I would like the texture of the recipient you have, and I think prunes do same job as dates. Had a much larger bowl to as maybe deep down I need to challenge my portion sizes.

Do you comefrom England? I find d there are very little meet up groups for people recovering from ED . This would definitely benefit me I think but I can't seem to locate any.

Sam xx

[windupbird in reply to Sammy987]

I am from England. I googled it and there are a few support groups in my area but I live in a big city. I don't know how appropriate they would be and as I'm not personally very interested in group meets at the moment I haven't looked into it further.

If it was me I'd call a few local mental health services/charities and see if they know one to recommend. Sort of getting some inside tips, these things are sometimes hard to access from the outside.