I dont feel worthy and my Family dont understand

[susancoats]

For many years I have had issues with my body image, excessive exercise and periods of restriction or massive binges. I feel like I have always been obsessed with what I eat and terrified of gaining weight, its impacted my relationships and it causes me great anxiety when it comes to socialising and I have very little control over what I eat.

The past few weeks I realise this is no way to live and have sought support from my GP. I am not underweight and I worry my issues are not serious enough and I am not worth of help. This has been aggravated by my parents not understanding, I think they think I have suddenly clung to having disordered eating as a way to explain my low mood and irritability and tearfulness, not understanding they are all related. I have tried to explain to my mum the years of going upstairs and eating and hiding the food from them, but she still doesn't understand.

It's making me doubt myself, that this issues arent as all encompassing as I feel they are and that what I am dealing with is not real or I am exaggerating. Which then makes me feel embarrassed about seeking GP support. I read information and everything they describe feels like my experiences yet I am doubting myself and not trusting myself. I feel my family think I am attention seeking even though they have not said so much.

How do I know that what I feel is enough to be seeking sought without taking support away from those more in need.

[crazycrossstitcher]

It's good you recognise you have a problem and that you want to change the way you live your life. Don't concern yourself with comments from others - you have clearly described how you feel and your difficulties around food - go to your GP and tell them what you have shared with us and seek help. You can also ring the ABC helpline and talk to them - it may help you sort out your feelings and thoughts and clarify exactly what you want to say to your GP.

[susancoats]

Thank you!! I actually went to GP this week and I really didn’t/couldn’t verbalise myself very well. They did refer me to support and signpost me to support and have suggested blood tests. In response to that I feel I need to restrict so the doctors tests prove what I’m feeling inside!! Which I know won’t help. I’ve contacted ABC and am reading their information which is really helpful. They have a local drop in which I think I may use!!

[Redpand]

Hi there, you recognise that you have a problem and that’s a very important first step, please seek help and if you feel it’s not taken seriously then see another Gp. It took 3 different drs before my anorexia was taken seriously, i did end up spending 8 months as an inpatient all of which would have not happened if I had been taken seriously in the beginning, everyone has the right to get help and you don’t need to be dangerously under weight to get it, I wish you luck x

[susancoats in reply to Redpand]

Thank you so much for sharing your story and for your support! It means a lot

[m7-cola in reply to susancoats]

I am so glad you now feel supported and encouraged. But it would be understandable if you your confidence takes a tumble from time to time. If this happens I hope you will remember to love yourself.

[Anon03]

Please don't be hard on yourself it's your eating disorder telling you its not that bad. I have just gone the GPS aswell and been referred to clinic but I too feel my weight needs to be lower and have actually got worse due to my head telling me I'm not sick enough, logically this tells me I'm sick but in my head I'm not and it's not that bad.... similar to you hey !

Get help you don't need to explain to your family this is whthe I haven't told mine.

Talk to us on here we understand you xxxx

[susancoats in reply to Anon03]

Thank you Anon!! It’s so good to know there’s people out there who understand these feelings. I hope you get the support you need from the clinic. Xxxx

[lillyofthevalley37]

The thing is you may not be underweight but you are still being harassed and tortured by Ana as much as someone severely underweight

But medical professionals can't quantify Ana's voice so will prioritise gravely thin anorexics over you which is unfair but that's how it works

But your suffering is real so know this to be true and don't doubt it

Work at getting Ana out of your system and stop obeying it I find praying to Jesus works

[Giraffe_]

Hey! Reading what you have written resonates with me so entirely it was like I’d written it myself! I really hope you are feeling better! I’m the same and have been referred but again am not serious enough which is in turn causing the binging etc to become much worse! I do believe that there is a road to recovery, it would just be better if more people understood so I hope this group will help us all

[susancoats in reply to Giraffe_]

Thank you! I’ve had some assessments and just feel so embarrassed like I’m not unwell enough but at the same time my body, food and my weight is all I think about and that shouldn’t be our lives!! I hope you are doing ok!! This group is really supportive and if I can help in anyway xx

[Burs]

Hi susancoats. Write down what your feeling and whats happening with your relationship with food. Put every detail in, no matter how small it seems to you. Just because your not underweight doesn't mean you dont need help, and prefrerbly before you are too ill. Write to your parents how you need them to understand what your going through, and what you need from them. Write all the details of your illness out for your doctor, how its affecting you physically and mentally. Please dont leave it, everyone is worthy of help and care. Love burs xx

[susancoats in reply to Burs]

Thank you so much!! Great advice I’m going to buy myself a lovely new notebook and do just that. I have two phone assessments coming up and I don’t even know how to explain what’s going on. My mum broke down on me yesterday so I’m beginning to realise the impact this is having on others. I so badly want help but am scared at the same time. Thank you so much for your advice x