Do I have an eating disorder?

[jess14]

I'm 18, 5 ft 9.5 and a size 6/8, in my final year of school and am worried I might have an eating disorder but not sure. I am a keen runner and represent my school, which lead to me losing weight. I liked it and found that if I limited food intake to 1000 cals a day and ran every other day then I lost weight quite rapidly. Since then i have become more and more restrictive with food, trying to eat less and less each week. I was diagnosed with gluten intolerance which makes it easier to explain to others why I eat low calorie foods and so allowed me to eat even less. Exams and schoolwork combined with some problems at home meant that I liked losing weight as it was the only thing i could control, and when other things went wrong I would think "oh well at least I have lost a few pounds". I constantly think about food, reading recipe books and food blogs, it has become quite an obsession. Occaisionally i have binges where I eat until I feel extremely sick and full and then I hate myself and usually eat only protein and veg for the next few weeks after. I also have started doing juice cleanses as it is the only time I dont feel guilty when I eat. i've noticed it has started to affect my running, I cant run as far or as fast as i used to. Also, I feel very sad all the time and have no energy, I can't be bothered to socialise as much anymore and I have lost interest in my schoolwork. I am really worried as it seems like everything in my life is going downhill.

[Theresa4]

Hi Jess you brave girl well done for coming here and asking for help. I am not an expert but my daughter is being treated for anorexia at the moment and you do describe many of the same symptoms. Please please confide in someone you can trust and go to your doctor or contact your local Beatit services. Dont wait do it now the thinner you get the more likely it is that you will become very ill and you will not be able to run at all. This forum is great let us know how u get on. Im sure you will have more knowledgable support than me. My daughter has stabilised her weight now but is not safe yet its a long process to recover. Good luck will be thinking of u!

[crazycrossstitcher]

Don't wait - get help now. I don't know if you can talk to parents - but I suggest you need to see a GP and get a referral to a specialist Eating Disorders centre. Your story parallels mine almost exactly - I put off getting help and things got very out of hand very rapidly - so seek help now - you've taken the first step in recognising you have a problem - now you need to get the help and support you will need to get your life back. Good luck - and don't let the GP fob you off - you may have to push to get the specialist support you need.

[EeyoreLover]

It sounds like you have the same as me - it's a form of ENDOs called Anorexia Athletica - one of the most common forms of an eating disorder amongst sports people. I love my netball about was playing for the Scottish Cup in high school last year - It started for me after injury and I was finding it hard to keep of the weight after being out of sport then it started to feel good starving and loosing the weight. After about 11 months or so out was spotted by a friend and I got help and I had lost a fair bit of my ability within netball but within a few months of being 'in recovery' I had nearly all my skills back an most of them were much better than they had been previous. Please go and speak to someone and get some help! Good Luck xx

[Tomagcro]

Jess three good answers above. Seek help. My daughter is anorexic and blogs about her recover as Juniper Baby. Good luck with your recovery. Only you can do it....but you can't do it alone.

[fadedlizard]

Hi Jess,

Well done ~ you have made an important first step. You know that things are not right and you have reached out and asked for help and support.

Please make an appointment with your GP and explain what is happening. You have eloquently told your story here and it might be worth printing off a copy to take to your doctor so that you don't have to worry about what you're going to say when you get there.

Does your school have a counselling service that you can access?

Please keep in touch and let us know how you are getting on.

Love and Best Wishes,

Lizard.xxx

[jess14]

thank you so much to all of you for your help, I'm scared about going to the GP as I feel they will insist on telling my parents, and also I'm scared as to what will happen after, what is the usual treatment route? I really don't want to be pulled out of school or anything like that. I'm at boarding school so there is a counselling service and an infirmary, but they quite often tell parents what is going on so don't think it is an option. My father is currently dealing with depression and it is taking its toll on my mother so I'm scared if I tell them it will be the final straw. Thanks again to everyone for your supportive words.