Depressed about incontinence - The Simon Foundat...

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Depressed about incontinence

Whopper profile image

While my predicament isn’t in timely new, it has worsened recently with a very discouraging long-term prognosis. After dealing with prostatitis and recurring UTIs for decades, i was diagnosed with a urethral stricture, which was subsequently treated surgically. The surgery was not successful and a subsequent procedure will be required. The situation is frustrated by a lower spinal cord injury which received surgery two years ago, and a bladder that is in poor condition. On asking about the second surgery, my urologist informed me that it would only address blockage and assure flow out of the bladder and that i would never have normal bladder functions. That news hit hard and was very depressing. I’m still processing what it means to have to manage incontinence full time and to have to wear absorbent underwear (pull up diapers). I’m doing fine with it and I’m adjusting. It is just depressing to think that this is for the rest of my life. Is this a common feeling?

4 Replies
incon1982 profile image

This has to be quite a blow. I think feeling depressed after these injuries and failed surgery is pretty normal. If you stay depressed though, please do seek help -someone who will LISTEN and help.Have you asked your urologist if you might be able to use a male external catheter (if you are a male)? That might mean not wearing the pull-up type of incontinence products. Although you might still want to wear something light for those "just in case" incidents.

I hope as you have questions or concerns you will find others that can help here.

Whopper profile image
Whopper in reply to incon1982

Thank you! And I’m doing well, all considered. I have discussed my emotional state with a therapist and feel its well processed. Nonetheless, i still feel embarrassed to have this issue. And the discussion with my urologist is ongoing. I’ve had to use a catheter repeatedly and always end up with a UTI. So my experience isn't good. Ive tried many different products to manage the situation and kind of landed on pull-up absorbent underwear during the day (after having determined that i was changing protecting guards to frequently and was overwhelming capacity) and am getting to a point where the tabbed briefs (diapers) work best at night, as i leak out of the night time pull ups. Ive only discussed with a couple people other that doctors.

incon1982 profile image
incon1982Partner in reply to Whopper

There is a high absorbency nighttime pull-ups from NorthShore Supply. Have had good luck with them. And then you can even add an additional pad inside of them. But they are great for nighttime. You can get a sample for free from them. I think Tena may also have a good nighttime product. I think manufacturers are starting to realize they need to make a high quality and super absorbent for people at night. Glad you have a good support team with your urologist and a therapist. And a couple of friends you can talk to. This is great!

I understand that "what a blow" feeling. After my work related injury from a 15ft fall my doctors told me that I will be incontinent for the rest of my life. It was quite the blow knowing that I will be in tape on diapers for the rest of my life. It took a good 6 years and a lot of therapy for me to get over. It's so much easier talking about it than hiding it for me now. I don't mind and if they do there job well, that's all a care about. I wear the MegaMax diapers from NorthShore. They work and are pretty comfortable nonetheless. Good luck to you and hope things go well for you. I was 28 when the injury happened and am now 36.

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